Apologies for the lack of updates recently but I'm afraid it is unlikely to change any time soon.
My excuse for the last week has been my ever increasing focus on the semi-intensive driving course (21 hours completed) and the elusive search for a job.
But this upcoming break from posting is very much a case of pleasure rather than business.
As you may be aware from my previous post, I'll be spending the next four nights in a tent in a field at Glastonbury Festival (follow live festival updates here).
Well, it is my idea of fun!
And while I intend to take a break from the humdrum of everyday life, I promise to provide a post-festival review as I'm taking a notepad and pen to jot down anything that catches my attention.
Or, in all likelihood, by the end of the weekend, anything I can even vaguely remember.
Wednesday, 24 June 2009
Monday, 22 June 2009
Glastonbury
Wellies at the ready - it's that time again when thousands of revellers descend on Somerset for Glastonbury Festival.
This year's festival will be my second visit to Worthy Farm after my maiden experience at last year's event.
I became truly captured in the magic of Glastonbury as the sun beamed out over the Pyramid Stage when Crowded House played 'Weather With You' on Saturday after two days of rain.
And I placed my deposit to guarantee a place for 2009 as soon as I could.
The outlook for this year's event is set to be unsettled with warm weather interspersed by summer showers. Not that it's likely to bother anyone.
As usual, the gates to the campsite open on Wednesday but I will be arriving on Thursday due to logistical reasons.
But, hopefully, I will be in time for the first main act, Newcastle-based band Maximo Park playing at the new William Green area.
The opening night of wandering aimlessly around the site is sure to follow with likely stop-offs at the Brothers Bar and the Cider Bus before late night indulgence in Trash City and Shangrai-La.
A visit to the Stone Circle is a must and, this year, I'm hoping my body-clock holds out to allow me to see dawn rise over the campsite from the hill.
In terms of music, the festival remains generally as varied as ever, though without the JayZ-sized risk from 2008 in the headliners.
Instead, Michael Eavis has lined up Neil Young, Bruce Springsteen and Blur to finish on the Pyramid Stage over the weekend.
In a Friday night clash, Young will compete against The Kinks' Ray Davies who I am more likely to see for the expected sing-a-long.
But Saturday will be all about The Boss and his two-hour set as a headliner with Kasabian as the warm-up.
On Sunday, there is another unseemly clash with Blur on at the same time as The Prodigy.
The return of Damon Albarn and Graham Coxon et al is likely to shade it for me, though, especially having seen Keith Flint's group on previous occasions.
As for the rest of the acts, I am very excited to see ska legends The Specials on Friday with Madness on Sunday thrown in for good measure.
And another personal favourite, Art Brut, will make an appearance on Saturday at the Other Stage
Novelty acts Bjorn Again and Spinal Tap earn their place alongside old-timers Rolf Harris and Sir Tom Jones.
And I expect to make room for the traditional speech from Tony Benn, a real conviction politician who completely shows the current spineless bunch for what they are.
But the wondrous element of Glastonbury is its unpredictability.
These plans are just that - plans. I expect many of them will go to waste, which makes the whole muddy mess even more fun.
Useful links:
*The official Glastonbury Festival website
*Halvin's Clashfinder - an impressively accurate compilation of the set times for every act on every stage
*Efestivals messageboard - Glastonbury rumour and counter-rumour
*Glastonbury Map
*BBC Weather (for Glastonbury)
This year's festival will be my second visit to Worthy Farm after my maiden experience at last year's event.
I became truly captured in the magic of Glastonbury as the sun beamed out over the Pyramid Stage when Crowded House played 'Weather With You' on Saturday after two days of rain.
And I placed my deposit to guarantee a place for 2009 as soon as I could.
The outlook for this year's event is set to be unsettled with warm weather interspersed by summer showers. Not that it's likely to bother anyone.
As usual, the gates to the campsite open on Wednesday but I will be arriving on Thursday due to logistical reasons.
But, hopefully, I will be in time for the first main act, Newcastle-based band Maximo Park playing at the new William Green area.
The opening night of wandering aimlessly around the site is sure to follow with likely stop-offs at the Brothers Bar and the Cider Bus before late night indulgence in Trash City and Shangrai-La.
A visit to the Stone Circle is a must and, this year, I'm hoping my body-clock holds out to allow me to see dawn rise over the campsite from the hill.
In terms of music, the festival remains generally as varied as ever, though without the JayZ-sized risk from 2008 in the headliners.
Instead, Michael Eavis has lined up Neil Young, Bruce Springsteen and Blur to finish on the Pyramid Stage over the weekend.
In a Friday night clash, Young will compete against The Kinks' Ray Davies who I am more likely to see for the expected sing-a-long.
But Saturday will be all about The Boss and his two-hour set as a headliner with Kasabian as the warm-up.
On Sunday, there is another unseemly clash with Blur on at the same time as The Prodigy.
The return of Damon Albarn and Graham Coxon et al is likely to shade it for me, though, especially having seen Keith Flint's group on previous occasions.
As for the rest of the acts, I am very excited to see ska legends The Specials on Friday with Madness on Sunday thrown in for good measure.
And another personal favourite, Art Brut, will make an appearance on Saturday at the Other Stage
Novelty acts Bjorn Again and Spinal Tap earn their place alongside old-timers Rolf Harris and Sir Tom Jones.
And I expect to make room for the traditional speech from Tony Benn, a real conviction politician who completely shows the current spineless bunch for what they are.
But the wondrous element of Glastonbury is its unpredictability.
These plans are just that - plans. I expect many of them will go to waste, which makes the whole muddy mess even more fun.
Useful links:
*The official Glastonbury Festival website
*Halvin's Clashfinder - an impressively accurate compilation of the set times for every act on every stage
*Efestivals messageboard - Glastonbury rumour and counter-rumour
*Glastonbury Map
*BBC Weather (for Glastonbury)
Wednesday, 17 June 2009
United begin at the Hawthorns
The reality of relegation hit home for Newcastle United as the fixtures for 2009/10 season were announced today.
United begin the campaign away at West Bromwich Albion who were also relegated from the Premier League and are now managerless after Tony Mowbray left for Celtic.
The trip to the Hawthorns is followed by home fixtures against Reading and Sheffield Wednesday.
For the eighth season running, United play away on Boxing Day at Hillsborough in the return against Wednesday.
And for the fourth successive season, the last game is away - in the capital at Queens Park Rangers.
It should be noted that there is no New Year's Day league match as the FA Cup Third Round is being played on Saturday, January 2nd.
And even before the television companies butcher the fixtures for their own means, ten of the 46 league matches are in midweek - five at home and five away.
SkySports has the rights to show 65 live matches with the BBC also broadcasting 10 games across the season.
The nearest away match to my birthday is Blackpool but, irritatingly, this is one of those midweek matches.
The games at Reading and Peterborough United, where there is a possibility of a visit to friends, are just after Christmas and on Easter Saturday respectively.
Note: Due to antiquated legislation, I am unable to produce a list of dates and fixtures.
They can be found here on the BBC and via NUFC.com.
The law, dating from 1959, makes the publication of fixtures an infringement of copyright held by Football DataCo.
To publish just one club's fixtures, media sources must pay £266 plus VAT each year. To print the fixtures of every club, the charge is £3,931 plus VAT.
The English and Scottish leagues are the only ones in Europe to charge for fixture use.
And even reputable trade magazines like World Soccer have refused to pay up and publish in previous years.
In 2000, they wrote: "This season we have not included fixtures for England and Scotland, the only two countries whose leagues insist on charging the media to publish their fixture lists.
"Call it greed, call it stupidity, but they wanted us to pay a four-figure sum for the privilege of publicising their leagues. We declined."
This particular use of copyright is unusual anyway as 'facts' are not covered in law.
Moreover, the European Court of Justice ruled in 2004 that clubs could not use the European Database Directive to demand payment from media and pools companies.
But Football DataCo refuted this, harking back to the Football League's court win in 1959 against Littlewoods.
It may seem over-cautious as this is just one blog in a whole sea of blogs.
But no target seems too small for Football DataCo with fanzine writers previously targeted.
And - as Bob Dylan once said - money doesn't talk, it swears.
Tuesday, 16 June 2009
On the road again...
Three and a half years since I last tried to learn to drive, I've decided to give it another go.
I had planned originally to do this first post a few days earlier but I wanted to see how well I would progress in first few lessons.
I have now completed 10 hours of a semi-intensive course which I started on Saturday with David Convery.
Unsurprisingly there have been some ups and downs already and, before lessons, I have struggled to contain the nerves or ignore nagging doubts.
I've already blogged on how nervous I've got in the past - it's almost to the point of fear.
But at least I've done better than last time when I only managed a few hours and didn't even graduate from going round and round the same patch of grass in the Team Valley.
At least now I'm driving from the front door and through proper housing estates in Winlaton - and between Winlaton, Rowlands Gill and High Spen. I even got in fifth gear once!
Since the first lesson, I have improved on handling the car, my use of speed and my awareness of what to do at junctions. I can drive the car in the higher gears without much of a problem.
But, frustratingly, I still frequently stall by failing to keep my feet still and releasing the gas before lifting the clutch in first gear. Grrr...
David, the instructor, is doing his best to improve matters and I'm glad I have chosen him as I seem most likely to pass (eventually) with him.
Today, in my fourth session, I did numerous hill starts and no fewer than four turns in the road with the aim of improving my clutch control.
But, as I finished the lesson, it remained as inconsistent as ever.
Fortunately enough, I have another three hours in the car tomorrow morning with yet more practice on the clutch and I'm ruddy determined to overcome this.
It would certainly be nice to have sorted by the time I go on holiday to the Glastonbury Festival next week.
I had planned originally to do this first post a few days earlier but I wanted to see how well I would progress in first few lessons.
I have now completed 10 hours of a semi-intensive course which I started on Saturday with David Convery.
Unsurprisingly there have been some ups and downs already and, before lessons, I have struggled to contain the nerves or ignore nagging doubts.
I've already blogged on how nervous I've got in the past - it's almost to the point of fear.
But at least I've done better than last time when I only managed a few hours and didn't even graduate from going round and round the same patch of grass in the Team Valley.
At least now I'm driving from the front door and through proper housing estates in Winlaton - and between Winlaton, Rowlands Gill and High Spen. I even got in fifth gear once!
Since the first lesson, I have improved on handling the car, my use of speed and my awareness of what to do at junctions. I can drive the car in the higher gears without much of a problem.
But, frustratingly, I still frequently stall by failing to keep my feet still and releasing the gas before lifting the clutch in first gear. Grrr...
David, the instructor, is doing his best to improve matters and I'm glad I have chosen him as I seem most likely to pass (eventually) with him.
Today, in my fourth session, I did numerous hill starts and no fewer than four turns in the road with the aim of improving my clutch control.
But, as I finished the lesson, it remained as inconsistent as ever.
Fortunately enough, I have another three hours in the car tomorrow morning with yet more practice on the clutch and I'm ruddy determined to overcome this.
It would certainly be nice to have sorted by the time I go on holiday to the Glastonbury Festival next week.
Thursday, 11 June 2009
Forty years of hurt
Forty years ago today, Newcastle United won their last major trophy - the Inter-Cities Fairs Cup, a forerunner for the Uefa Cup (now replaced by the Europa League).
United beat Hungarian team Ujpest Dozsa 3-2 in Budapest to complete a 6-2 aggregate victory with goals from captain Bobby Moncur, Benny Arentoft and Alan Foggon.
On Geordie Day this week, I spent some of the afternoon idling around Newcastle City Centre's latest addition.
The monstrous concrete block that was the Central Library was presumably a result of 1960s Council leader T Dan Smith and his strange love for brutalist architecture.
It has been replaced by a beautiful six-storey glass-fronted building with everything you would expect from a modern library - books, CDs, DVDs, blu-ray, free internet access.
And, on the sixth floor, old newspapers.
I was genuinely interested to see how Newcastle's success had been reported by the Evening Chronicle.
After all, nowadays if United win more than two matches in a row - unlikely, I know - it'll probably get a mention on the front page.
Back in the 1960s, unsurprisingly, journalism seemed to operate slightly differently.
For a start, the Chronicle - like most newspapers - was a broadsheet.
Then there was the belief that the front page was very much the place for hard news with any stories on sport confined to the back pages.
On the day of the match (11/06/69), the Chronicle's front page led with "King Size Province is Plan for North" by political correspondent Gordon Jackson, with no mention at all of United anywhere.
The lead was undoubtedly a big story about the possibility of a North East Parliament being introduced by the Wilson government as an additional tier between local authorities and Westminster.
Odd that by 2009, this still had not been introduced and indeed was overwhelmingly rejected in 2004 in a referendum when New Labour tried to implement a similar idea.
The back pages featured stories from John Gibson who was in Budapest and led with a "play or I quit" threat from birthday boy John McNamee.
As it happened, McNamee remained unused on the bench on that balmy night in Budapest but stayed at St James until 1971.
The rest is history. United, leading 3-0 from a storming performance at Gallowgate in the first leg, were rattled as Ujpest Dozsa pulled two goals back before half time.
Manager Joe Harvey, who turned 51 that night, gave his rousing speech: "Listen, you lot. You're 3-2 up in a cup final with 45 minutes to go. What's up with you? Hit them once early and they'll collapse."
Harvey was right. Moncur volleyed his third goal of the tie (his only three United goals in 296 appearances) to halve the deficit on the night and make it 4-2 on aggregate only a minute after half time.
Another goal from Dane Arentoft recovered the first-half damage within five minutes of the restart.
And "Beatle boy" Foggon sealed an unexpected cup win for a team written off by the London press as no-hopers for the trophy late on.
In the Chronicle on the following day, under the back page headline "Big Hearts Win The Cup", Gibson reported with glee.
He wrote: "It was a moment to savour - a moment to remember for all time. Even Budapest will never forget it."
This time, a photograph of the players' lap of honour was placed towards the bottom of the page.
But it was still hard news which dominated with another story from political correspondent Gordon Jackson on economics - "Trade Gap Is Slashed With Record Exports".
In fairness, the Chronicle did produce a 20-page special edition a couple of days later on the Saturday, which could be bought for the princely sum of 5d.
And nearly every advert carried a congratulations message for the team.
Those were the days... and those days seem a long way off now.
From nufc.com:
Team: 1 Iam McFall, 2 David Craig, 3 Frank Clark, 4 Tommy Gibb, 5 Ollie Burton, 6 Bobby Moncur (c), 7 Jimmy Scott, 8 Bryan 'Pop' Robson, 9 Wyn Davies, 10 Benny Arentoft, 11 Jackie Sinclair, 12 Alan Foggon (for Scott, 70). Unused subs: George Hope, John McNamee.
Goals: Moncur 46, Arentoft 50, Foggon 76
Manager: Joe Harvey.
Geoff Allen, Albert Bennett, Dave Clarke, John Craggs, Keith Dyson, Dave Elliott, Ron Guthrie, Arthur Horsfield, Jim Iley, Gordon Marshall and Graham Winstanley had all made appearances for United earlier in the competition.
United beat Hungarian team Ujpest Dozsa 3-2 in Budapest to complete a 6-2 aggregate victory with goals from captain Bobby Moncur, Benny Arentoft and Alan Foggon.
On Geordie Day this week, I spent some of the afternoon idling around Newcastle City Centre's latest addition.
The monstrous concrete block that was the Central Library was presumably a result of 1960s Council leader T Dan Smith and his strange love for brutalist architecture.
It has been replaced by a beautiful six-storey glass-fronted building with everything you would expect from a modern library - books, CDs, DVDs, blu-ray, free internet access.
And, on the sixth floor, old newspapers.
I was genuinely interested to see how Newcastle's success had been reported by the Evening Chronicle.
After all, nowadays if United win more than two matches in a row - unlikely, I know - it'll probably get a mention on the front page.
Back in the 1960s, unsurprisingly, journalism seemed to operate slightly differently.
For a start, the Chronicle - like most newspapers - was a broadsheet.
Then there was the belief that the front page was very much the place for hard news with any stories on sport confined to the back pages.
On the day of the match (11/06/69), the Chronicle's front page led with "King Size Province is Plan for North" by political correspondent Gordon Jackson, with no mention at all of United anywhere.
The lead was undoubtedly a big story about the possibility of a North East Parliament being introduced by the Wilson government as an additional tier between local authorities and Westminster.
Odd that by 2009, this still had not been introduced and indeed was overwhelmingly rejected in 2004 in a referendum when New Labour tried to implement a similar idea.
The back pages featured stories from John Gibson who was in Budapest and led with a "play or I quit" threat from birthday boy John McNamee.
As it happened, McNamee remained unused on the bench on that balmy night in Budapest but stayed at St James until 1971.
The rest is history. United, leading 3-0 from a storming performance at Gallowgate in the first leg, were rattled as Ujpest Dozsa pulled two goals back before half time.
Manager Joe Harvey, who turned 51 that night, gave his rousing speech: "Listen, you lot. You're 3-2 up in a cup final with 45 minutes to go. What's up with you? Hit them once early and they'll collapse."
Harvey was right. Moncur volleyed his third goal of the tie (his only three United goals in 296 appearances) to halve the deficit on the night and make it 4-2 on aggregate only a minute after half time.
Another goal from Dane Arentoft recovered the first-half damage within five minutes of the restart.
And "Beatle boy" Foggon sealed an unexpected cup win for a team written off by the London press as no-hopers for the trophy late on.
In the Chronicle on the following day, under the back page headline "Big Hearts Win The Cup", Gibson reported with glee.
He wrote: "It was a moment to savour - a moment to remember for all time. Even Budapest will never forget it."
This time, a photograph of the players' lap of honour was placed towards the bottom of the page.
But it was still hard news which dominated with another story from political correspondent Gordon Jackson on economics - "Trade Gap Is Slashed With Record Exports".
In fairness, the Chronicle did produce a 20-page special edition a couple of days later on the Saturday, which could be bought for the princely sum of 5d.
And nearly every advert carried a congratulations message for the team.
Those were the days... and those days seem a long way off now.
From nufc.com:
Team: 1 Iam McFall, 2 David Craig, 3 Frank Clark, 4 Tommy Gibb, 5 Ollie Burton, 6 Bobby Moncur (c), 7 Jimmy Scott, 8 Bryan 'Pop' Robson, 9 Wyn Davies, 10 Benny Arentoft, 11 Jackie Sinclair, 12 Alan Foggon (for Scott, 70). Unused subs: George Hope, John McNamee.
Goals: Moncur 46, Arentoft 50, Foggon 76
Manager: Joe Harvey.
Geoff Allen, Albert Bennett, Dave Clarke, John Craggs, Keith Dyson, Dave Elliott, Ron Guthrie, Arthur Horsfield, Jim Iley, Gordon Marshall and Graham Winstanley had all made appearances for United earlier in the competition.
Wednesday, 10 June 2009
Around the World Cup qualifying
Europe
The nine group winners qualify for the finals. The eight best runners-up playoff for the other four places, the remaining runner-up will miss out altogether.
Netherlands became the first European country to qualify for World Cup 2010 after their 2-1 win in Iceland on the weekend.
They further cemented their place at the top of Group Nine by beating Norway 2-0, a result which kept the Norwegians rock bottom and helped Scotland stay second.
The Scots, who were not in action in the June qualifiers, remain favourites for second place despite being 14 points behind the Dutch.
Fabio Capello's England continue to impress, hitting 10 goals without reply in their two qualifiers this summer - 4-0 away in Kazakhstan and 6-0 against hapless Andorra at Wembley.
With nearest rivals Croatia and Ukraine cancelling each other out on the weekend, England's lead at the top of Group Six has been stretched to 10 points.
England, who are top scorers on the continent with 26 goals, can make sure of their place in the finals by beating the Croatians at Wembley in September.
In Group One, Denmark strengthened their position by beating rivals Sweden for the first time in 13 years.
The Danes won 1-0 and lead the table by three points from Hungary who were not in action.
Sweden and, surprisingly, Portugal are a further four points behind the Hungarians - and only because of victories over Malta (4-0) and Albania (2-1) respectively.
There were no matches in Group Two or Group Five. In Group Two, there is a two-way tussle at the top between Greece and Switzerland, both on 13 points.
Group Five is much more clearcut with European champions Spain enjoying a healthy six point lead over Bosnia-Herzegovina. Turkey are a further four points back and look unlikely to make it.
In Group Three, the only match was a routine 7-0 romp for group leaders Slovakia over San Marino who have now conceded 32 goals in their seven qualifiers.
Finland blew their chance of putting pressure on the leaders in Group Four when they lost 3-0 to Russia, having had to come from behind to beat Liechtenstein 2-1 last weekend.
Germany remain top on 16 points, Russia are on 15 points with Finland trailing on 10. A young Wales team gained a moral boosting 2-1 win in Baku against Azerbaijan to reach nine points.
In Group Seven, Serbia took advantage of the fixture list with France not playing to record two wins against Austria (1-0) and Faroe Islands (2-0).
The six points stretch the lead to eight over the French, who have two games in hand. Lithuania have done well to get above Austria and Romania into third but none of them is likely to threaten the top two.
In the big match in Group Eight, Republic of Ireland managed to get a point against Bulgaria in Sofia.
Richard Dunne gave the Irish the lead which they gave away almost immediately but then hung on to remain five points clear of the Bulgarians in second, though having played a game more.
World champions Italy remain top and, one point clear also with a game in hand over Ireland, the group remains theirs to lose.
Group leaders: Denmark, Greece, Slovakia, Germany, Spain, England, Serbia, Italy and Netherlands(Q).
Currently second: Hungary, Switzerland, Northern Ireland, Russia, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Croatia, France, Republic of Ireland, Scotland.
South America
Top four teams qualify for the finals. Fifth-placed team enters a playoff with the fourth-placed North American team for a finals place.
Brazil took control of the marathon South American qualifying section with two wins in the last week.
First, they beat Uruguay 4-0 away and then followed it up by beating Paraguay 2-1 at home in what was a clash of the top two.
It was the end of a poor week for the Paraguayans who lost their earlier match 2-0 at home to Chile and drop to third.
The Chileans have had a fantastic time of it over the last few days and followed up that win with a 4-0 thrashing of Bolivia to replace Paraguay in second.
Argentina stay fourth after a home win - 1-0 against Colombia - and another away loss - 2-0 agianst Ecuador as their qualification hopes under Diego Maradona remain in the balance.
Ecuador shut the gap on the Argentines for the last automatic qualification place to two points with that 2-0 win and a 2-1 away victory over struggling Peru.
Uruguay endured a disappointing week and remain four points off Argentina.
The Uruguayans 4-0 loss to Brazil was followed by only a draw against much-improved Venezuela (2-2).
Shot-shy Colombia once again failed to score in their loss to Argentina and only managed one against Peru, though it was the only goal.
As well as the 2-2 draw against Uruguay, Venezuela managed a 1-0 win over Bolivia to resurrect hopes of making the playoffs.
But the Bolivians are well off the pace and Peru may suffer the embarrassment of failing to get into double figures in points from 18 matches.
Both Bolivia and Peru lost their two matches this week.
Standings (after 14 matches out of 18): Brazil 27, Chile 26, Paraguay 24, Argentina 22, Ecuador 20, Uruguay 18, Colombia 17, Venezuela 17, Bolivia 12, Peru 7
Asia
Group winners and runners-up qualify for the finals. Third-placed teams in each group playoff against each other to reach a playoff against New Zealand, the winner of which will qualify for the finals.
Japan became the first qualifier for World Cup 2010 and they were followed by Australia on the same day with both teams utterly dominating Group One.
The Japanese sealed their place in the finals with a 1-0 win over Uzbekistan in Tashkent and the Socceroos joined them a few hours later with a 0-0 draw in Qatar.
Qatar then got a credible 1-1 draw in Japan but it was not enough to prevent them from being knocked out.
Despite losing 2-0 to Australia, Bahrain remain favourites for third and a playoff spot. They will seal their playoff place if they avoid defeat against Uzbekistan next week.
Matters are much less straightforward in Group Two, although South Korea have qualified top after a 2-0 win over struggling United Arab Emirates at the weekend.
There are still three teams in with a shout for the second spot with only one match left. North Korea and Saudi Arabia are both on 11 points with Iran just one behind.
The North Koreans and the Saudis meet in Saudi Arabia next week in the last match. A draw will send North Korea to their first finals since 1966 as they have a better goal difference.
Iran must hope the match is a draw and beat South Korea at the same time.
With qualification in the balance, it was perhaps understandable that goals were at a premium in this week's matches.
North Korea drew 0-0 with Iran who beat the UAE 1-0. Saudi Arabia drew 0-0 with South Korea who had already qualified with that win in Dubai.
Group leaders: Australia(Q), South Korea(Q).
Current runners-up: Japan (Q), North Korea.
Current third place: Bahrain, Saudi Arabia
North America
Top three qualify for the finals. Fourth-placed team enters playoff with fifth-placed South American team for a place in the finals.
Costa Rica continue to dominate as the final group of the North American (CONCACAF) section reaches its halfway stage.
The Ticos beat United States 3-1 at home and then Trinidad & Tobago 3-2 away to reach 12 points from their five matches.
The Americans stay second, despite that loss to Costa Rica as they came from behind to beat Honduras 2-1 in Chicago three days later.
And despite this, Honduras stay in the final automatic qualification spot as they went on to beat El Salvador 1-0 at home.
Mexico's away woes continued in a 2-1 loss to El Salvador but they managed to beat Trinidad & Tobago by the same score in the Azteca to stay in touch in fourth.
El Salvador also remain in the hunt, two points behind Honduras, after a win and a loss.
Qualifiers in 2006, Trinidad & Tobago look unlikely to be making the trip this time after two losses left them adrift.
Standings (after five matches of 10): Costa Rica 12, United States 10, Honduras 7, Mexico 6, El Salvador 5, Trinidad & Tobago 2
Africa
The five group winners qualify for the finals.
After the first two matches (out of six), the chance of a shock in Group One is very much alive.
Underdogs Gabon lead the way with a maximum six points after a fine 3-0 win over Togo.
Togo are currently second having won their first match against seasoned qualifiers Cameroon.
The Cameroonians and Morocco prop up the group on one point apiece after their 0-0 draw in the latest matches.
In Group Two, Tunisia lead the way with six points out of six after a 2-0 win over Mozambique.
Nigeria, who could only manage a 0-0 draw with Mozambique in the opening match, recovered their form to beat Kenya 3-0. The Kenyans are bottom and yet to pick up a point.
In Group Three, Algeria and Zambia took the initiative by beating Rwanda and Egypt respectively.
After both the opening matches between the teams were drawn, Zambia beat Rwanda 1-0 and Algeria enjoyed a 3-1 home success to leave Egypt bottom.
The Black Stars of Ghana have so far dominated Group Four with two wins, beating Mali 2-0 on the weekend.
Benin provide their main opposition for now after they recorded their first points with a 1-0 win over Sudan.
Mali and Sudan have a point each after their opening day 1-1 draw in which former Spurs striker Freddie Kanoute scored.
Group Five has been dominated by Ivory Coast and Burkina Faso who both have two wins. Guinea and Malawi have yet to take a point or provide much opposition.
In this week's matches, Burkina Faso won 1-0 in Malawi and Ivory Coast won 2-1 against Guinea.
This was at least an improvement for the strugglers with Guinea beating Burkina Faso 4-2 and Ivory Coast thrashing Malawi 5-0 in the opening games.
Current leaders: Gabon, Tunisia, Algeria, Ghana, Ivory Coast.
Standings and stats at http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/preliminaries/
The nine group winners qualify for the finals. The eight best runners-up playoff for the other four places, the remaining runner-up will miss out altogether.
Netherlands became the first European country to qualify for World Cup 2010 after their 2-1 win in Iceland on the weekend.
They further cemented their place at the top of Group Nine by beating Norway 2-0, a result which kept the Norwegians rock bottom and helped Scotland stay second.
The Scots, who were not in action in the June qualifiers, remain favourites for second place despite being 14 points behind the Dutch.
Fabio Capello's England continue to impress, hitting 10 goals without reply in their two qualifiers this summer - 4-0 away in Kazakhstan and 6-0 against hapless Andorra at Wembley.
With nearest rivals Croatia and Ukraine cancelling each other out on the weekend, England's lead at the top of Group Six has been stretched to 10 points.
England, who are top scorers on the continent with 26 goals, can make sure of their place in the finals by beating the Croatians at Wembley in September.
In Group One, Denmark strengthened their position by beating rivals Sweden for the first time in 13 years.
The Danes won 1-0 and lead the table by three points from Hungary who were not in action.
Sweden and, surprisingly, Portugal are a further four points behind the Hungarians - and only because of victories over Malta (4-0) and Albania (2-1) respectively.
There were no matches in Group Two or Group Five. In Group Two, there is a two-way tussle at the top between Greece and Switzerland, both on 13 points.
Group Five is much more clearcut with European champions Spain enjoying a healthy six point lead over Bosnia-Herzegovina. Turkey are a further four points back and look unlikely to make it.
In Group Three, the only match was a routine 7-0 romp for group leaders Slovakia over San Marino who have now conceded 32 goals in their seven qualifiers.
Finland blew their chance of putting pressure on the leaders in Group Four when they lost 3-0 to Russia, having had to come from behind to beat Liechtenstein 2-1 last weekend.
Germany remain top on 16 points, Russia are on 15 points with Finland trailing on 10. A young Wales team gained a moral boosting 2-1 win in Baku against Azerbaijan to reach nine points.
In Group Seven, Serbia took advantage of the fixture list with France not playing to record two wins against Austria (1-0) and Faroe Islands (2-0).
The six points stretch the lead to eight over the French, who have two games in hand. Lithuania have done well to get above Austria and Romania into third but none of them is likely to threaten the top two.
In the big match in Group Eight, Republic of Ireland managed to get a point against Bulgaria in Sofia.
Richard Dunne gave the Irish the lead which they gave away almost immediately but then hung on to remain five points clear of the Bulgarians in second, though having played a game more.
World champions Italy remain top and, one point clear also with a game in hand over Ireland, the group remains theirs to lose.
Group leaders: Denmark, Greece, Slovakia, Germany, Spain, England, Serbia, Italy and Netherlands(Q).
Currently second: Hungary, Switzerland, Northern Ireland, Russia, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Croatia, France, Republic of Ireland, Scotland.
South America
Top four teams qualify for the finals. Fifth-placed team enters a playoff with the fourth-placed North American team for a finals place.
Brazil took control of the marathon South American qualifying section with two wins in the last week.
First, they beat Uruguay 4-0 away and then followed it up by beating Paraguay 2-1 at home in what was a clash of the top two.
It was the end of a poor week for the Paraguayans who lost their earlier match 2-0 at home to Chile and drop to third.
The Chileans have had a fantastic time of it over the last few days and followed up that win with a 4-0 thrashing of Bolivia to replace Paraguay in second.
Argentina stay fourth after a home win - 1-0 against Colombia - and another away loss - 2-0 agianst Ecuador as their qualification hopes under Diego Maradona remain in the balance.
Ecuador shut the gap on the Argentines for the last automatic qualification place to two points with that 2-0 win and a 2-1 away victory over struggling Peru.
Uruguay endured a disappointing week and remain four points off Argentina.
The Uruguayans 4-0 loss to Brazil was followed by only a draw against much-improved Venezuela (2-2).
Shot-shy Colombia once again failed to score in their loss to Argentina and only managed one against Peru, though it was the only goal.
As well as the 2-2 draw against Uruguay, Venezuela managed a 1-0 win over Bolivia to resurrect hopes of making the playoffs.
But the Bolivians are well off the pace and Peru may suffer the embarrassment of failing to get into double figures in points from 18 matches.
Both Bolivia and Peru lost their two matches this week.
Standings (after 14 matches out of 18): Brazil 27, Chile 26, Paraguay 24, Argentina 22, Ecuador 20, Uruguay 18, Colombia 17, Venezuela 17, Bolivia 12, Peru 7
Asia
Group winners and runners-up qualify for the finals. Third-placed teams in each group playoff against each other to reach a playoff against New Zealand, the winner of which will qualify for the finals.
Japan became the first qualifier for World Cup 2010 and they were followed by Australia on the same day with both teams utterly dominating Group One.
The Japanese sealed their place in the finals with a 1-0 win over Uzbekistan in Tashkent and the Socceroos joined them a few hours later with a 0-0 draw in Qatar.
Qatar then got a credible 1-1 draw in Japan but it was not enough to prevent them from being knocked out.
Despite losing 2-0 to Australia, Bahrain remain favourites for third and a playoff spot. They will seal their playoff place if they avoid defeat against Uzbekistan next week.
Matters are much less straightforward in Group Two, although South Korea have qualified top after a 2-0 win over struggling United Arab Emirates at the weekend.
There are still three teams in with a shout for the second spot with only one match left. North Korea and Saudi Arabia are both on 11 points with Iran just one behind.
The North Koreans and the Saudis meet in Saudi Arabia next week in the last match. A draw will send North Korea to their first finals since 1966 as they have a better goal difference.
Iran must hope the match is a draw and beat South Korea at the same time.
With qualification in the balance, it was perhaps understandable that goals were at a premium in this week's matches.
North Korea drew 0-0 with Iran who beat the UAE 1-0. Saudi Arabia drew 0-0 with South Korea who had already qualified with that win in Dubai.
Group leaders: Australia(Q), South Korea(Q).
Current runners-up: Japan (Q), North Korea.
Current third place: Bahrain, Saudi Arabia
North America
Top three qualify for the finals. Fourth-placed team enters playoff with fifth-placed South American team for a place in the finals.
Costa Rica continue to dominate as the final group of the North American (CONCACAF) section reaches its halfway stage.
The Ticos beat United States 3-1 at home and then Trinidad & Tobago 3-2 away to reach 12 points from their five matches.
The Americans stay second, despite that loss to Costa Rica as they came from behind to beat Honduras 2-1 in Chicago three days later.
And despite this, Honduras stay in the final automatic qualification spot as they went on to beat El Salvador 1-0 at home.
Mexico's away woes continued in a 2-1 loss to El Salvador but they managed to beat Trinidad & Tobago by the same score in the Azteca to stay in touch in fourth.
El Salvador also remain in the hunt, two points behind Honduras, after a win and a loss.
Qualifiers in 2006, Trinidad & Tobago look unlikely to be making the trip this time after two losses left them adrift.
Standings (after five matches of 10): Costa Rica 12, United States 10, Honduras 7, Mexico 6, El Salvador 5, Trinidad & Tobago 2
Africa
The five group winners qualify for the finals.
After the first two matches (out of six), the chance of a shock in Group One is very much alive.
Underdogs Gabon lead the way with a maximum six points after a fine 3-0 win over Togo.
Togo are currently second having won their first match against seasoned qualifiers Cameroon.
The Cameroonians and Morocco prop up the group on one point apiece after their 0-0 draw in the latest matches.
In Group Two, Tunisia lead the way with six points out of six after a 2-0 win over Mozambique.
Nigeria, who could only manage a 0-0 draw with Mozambique in the opening match, recovered their form to beat Kenya 3-0. The Kenyans are bottom and yet to pick up a point.
In Group Three, Algeria and Zambia took the initiative by beating Rwanda and Egypt respectively.
After both the opening matches between the teams were drawn, Zambia beat Rwanda 1-0 and Algeria enjoyed a 3-1 home success to leave Egypt bottom.
The Black Stars of Ghana have so far dominated Group Four with two wins, beating Mali 2-0 on the weekend.
Benin provide their main opposition for now after they recorded their first points with a 1-0 win over Sudan.
Mali and Sudan have a point each after their opening day 1-1 draw in which former Spurs striker Freddie Kanoute scored.
Group Five has been dominated by Ivory Coast and Burkina Faso who both have two wins. Guinea and Malawi have yet to take a point or provide much opposition.
In this week's matches, Burkina Faso won 1-0 in Malawi and Ivory Coast won 2-1 against Guinea.
This was at least an improvement for the strugglers with Guinea beating Burkina Faso 4-2 and Ivory Coast thrashing Malawi 5-0 in the opening games.
Current leaders: Gabon, Tunisia, Algeria, Ghana, Ivory Coast.
Standings and stats at http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/preliminaries/
Tuesday, 9 June 2009
Geordie Day
The Blaydon Races Geordie Ridley (1862)
Aw went to Blaydon Races, 'twas on the ninth of Joon
Eiteen hundred an' sixty-two, on a summer's efternoon
Aw tyuk the 'bus frae Balmbra's, an' she wis heavy laden
Away we went alang Collingwood Street, that's on the road to Blaydon.
Ah me lads, ye shud only seen us gannin'
Passin the folks alang the road just as they wor stannin'
Thor wes lots o' lads an' lasses there, all wi' smiling faces
Gannin alang the Scotswood Road, to see the Blaydon Races.
We flew past Airmstrang's factory, and up to the "Robin Adair"
Just gannin' doon te the railway bridge, the 'bus wheel flew off there.
The lasses lost their crinolines, an' the veils that hide their faces
Ah got two black eyes an' a brokken nose in gan te Blaydon Races.
When we gat the wheel put on away we went agyen
But them that had their noses broke they cam back ower hyem
Sum went to the Dispensary an' uthers to Doctor Gibbses
An' sum sought out the Infirmary to mend their broken ribses.
Noo when we gat to Paradise thor wes bonny gam begun
Thor was fower-an-twenty on the 'bus, man, hoo they danced an' sung
They called on me to sing a sang, ah sung them "Paddy Fagan"
Ah danced a jig an' swung my twig that day ah went to Blaydon.
We flew across the Chain Bridge reet into Blaydon toon
The bellman he was callin' there, they call him Jackie Broon
Aw saw him talkin' to sum cheps, an' them he was pursuadin'
To gan an' see Geordy Ridley's concert in the Mechanics' Haal at Blaydon.
The rain it poor'd aal the day an' myed the groons quite muddy
Coffy Johnny had a white hat on - they war shootin' "Whe stole the cuddy!"
There wes spice stalls an' munkey shows an' aud wives selling ciders
An' a chep wiv a hapenny roond aboot, shootin' "Noo, me boys, for riders."
Aw went to Blaydon Races, 'twas on the ninth of Joon
Eiteen hundred an' sixty-two, on a summer's efternoon
Aw tyuk the 'bus frae Balmbra's, an' she wis heavy laden
Away we went alang Collingwood Street, that's on the road to Blaydon.
Ah me lads, ye shud only seen us gannin'
Passin the folks alang the road just as they wor stannin'
Thor wes lots o' lads an' lasses there, all wi' smiling faces
Gannin alang the Scotswood Road, to see the Blaydon Races.
We flew past Airmstrang's factory, and up to the "Robin Adair"
Just gannin' doon te the railway bridge, the 'bus wheel flew off there.
The lasses lost their crinolines, an' the veils that hide their faces
Ah got two black eyes an' a brokken nose in gan te Blaydon Races.
When we gat the wheel put on away we went agyen
But them that had their noses broke they cam back ower hyem
Sum went to the Dispensary an' uthers to Doctor Gibbses
An' sum sought out the Infirmary to mend their broken ribses.
Noo when we gat to Paradise thor wes bonny gam begun
Thor was fower-an-twenty on the 'bus, man, hoo they danced an' sung
They called on me to sing a sang, ah sung them "Paddy Fagan"
Ah danced a jig an' swung my twig that day ah went to Blaydon.
We flew across the Chain Bridge reet into Blaydon toon
The bellman he was callin' there, they call him Jackie Broon
Aw saw him talkin' to sum cheps, an' them he was pursuadin'
To gan an' see Geordy Ridley's concert in the Mechanics' Haal at Blaydon.
The rain it poor'd aal the day an' myed the groons quite muddy
Coffy Johnny had a white hat on - they war shootin' "Whe stole the cuddy!"
There wes spice stalls an' munkey shows an' aud wives selling ciders
An' a chep wiv a hapenny roond aboot, shootin' "Noo, me boys, for riders."
Monday, 8 June 2009
Has Gordon somehow survived the Government meltdown?
Never has the cliché that a week is a long time in politics seemed so apt. For beleaguered Gordon Brown, I can only imagine it has felt even longer.
After all, this time last week, Jacqui Smith was still Home Secretary, Hazel Blears was Communities Secretary and James Purnell was Work and Pensions Secretary.
Labour controlled county councils in Lancashire, Staffordshire, Nottinghamshire and Derbyshire and sent 19 MEPs to Brussels.
But this has all changed after the most extraordinary week of the decade in British politics.
Ms Smith began the trickle, becoming the most high-profile casualty of the expenses scandal which has engulfed Westminster.
On the same day, Children's Minister Beverley Hughes resigned for family reasons and key Brown ally, Cabinet Office Minister Tom Watson also stepped down.
Backbencher David Chaytor, embroiled in the expenses scandal having allegedly claimed £13,000 for a non-existent mortgage, said he would stand down at the next election.
And former minister Patricia Hewitt also confirmed she would not seek re-election, though unlike Chaytor, she had escaped unblemished from the Telegraph's reports.
On Wednesday, Ms Blears quit the Cabinet, leaving Labour without a minister for local government on the eve of the council elections.
But it was the resignation of Mr Purnell late on Thursday night which seemed to have dealt Mr Brown a mortal blow.
Breaking from the precedent, Mr Purnell placed his reasoning squarely on his lack of confidence in Mr Brown as Prime Minister.
In a letter to The Times and The Sun newspapers, he said, "I now believe your continued leadership makes a Conservative victory more, not less likely."
Mr Purnell made it clear he was acting alone, but rumours spread that the Cabinet was ready to bring down the Prime Minister.
The tension only increased further on Friday when early results in the local elections suggested Labour would be battered at the ballot box and an email apparently circulated calling on him to resign.
Fears over the result were borne out by a record-low 23% share of the popular vote, 15 points down on the Conservatives and even five points down on the Liberal Democrats.
Labour lost their majorities in Lancashire, Derbyshire and Staffordshire to the Tories who also gained Devon and Somerset from the Lib Dems.
Nottinghamshire fell to no overall control as matters seemed to spiral out of control. Former Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott launched a scathing attack on Labour's "non-campaign" in the elections.
Mr Brown hastily brought forward his reshuffle to Friday - but even this was fraught with problems.
John Hutton resigned as Defence Secretary for personal reasons and Geoff Hoon stepped down as Transport Secretary.
But neither followed Mr Purnell in criticising the Prime Minister as the rumours of a Cabinet plot died away.
Indeed, Mr Brown seemed to have strengthened his position further by appointing the man who was most likely to challenge him – Alan Johnston – as the new Home Secretary.
He was, however, unable to move ally Ed Balls from Schools to the Treasury with expenses-hit Alistair Darling unwilling to relinquish his post as Chancellor.
This was despite briefings from Number 10 to the lobby that Mr Darling would not be in post after the shake-up.
And, just as Mr Brown was seeking to reassert his authority in a press conference by pretending these briefings never took place, he was dealt yet another blow.
Europe Minister Caroline Flint, who had only 24 hours earlier pledged her allegiance to Mr Brown, resigned and launched a scathing attack on his treatment of women in the Cabinet.
In her letter, she said: "Several of the women attending Cabinet - myself included - have been treated by you as little more than female window dressing."
The Prime Minister's aides were quick to dismiss the statement but it seems likely, whether it is true or not, that the charge of "female window dressing" will resonate and tarnish Mr Brown's premiership forever.
But with the Cabinet finally under a semblance of control - confirmation that Mr Purnell had indeed acted alone - it became obvious that it would need to be the backbenchers who would bring down Mr Brown.
Sunday's European election results gave the would-be rebels even more ammunition as Labour was forced into third place, behind UKIP.
And tension grew again yesterday in the wake of the poll disaster as Mr Brown faced a meeting of the Parliamentary Labour Party.
But it all passed off without much incident.
The dissenting voices from the backbenches include former Home Secretary Charles Clarke and ex-Cabinet minister Stephen Byers but they remain a bunch of disorganised individuals.
And while Gordon Brown may have lost the support of the public, he retains the backing of his reshuffled Cabinet – at least overtly.
It remains to be seen whether he can stick around for another year until the general election but his notorious stubbornness suggests he could.
Even if he does somehow make it, though, this week's results suggest he will do little more than lead Labour into an increasingly inevitable electoral wilderness.
After all, this time last week, Jacqui Smith was still Home Secretary, Hazel Blears was Communities Secretary and James Purnell was Work and Pensions Secretary.
Labour controlled county councils in Lancashire, Staffordshire, Nottinghamshire and Derbyshire and sent 19 MEPs to Brussels.
But this has all changed after the most extraordinary week of the decade in British politics.
Ms Smith began the trickle, becoming the most high-profile casualty of the expenses scandal which has engulfed Westminster.
On the same day, Children's Minister Beverley Hughes resigned for family reasons and key Brown ally, Cabinet Office Minister Tom Watson also stepped down.
Backbencher David Chaytor, embroiled in the expenses scandal having allegedly claimed £13,000 for a non-existent mortgage, said he would stand down at the next election.
And former minister Patricia Hewitt also confirmed she would not seek re-election, though unlike Chaytor, she had escaped unblemished from the Telegraph's reports.
On Wednesday, Ms Blears quit the Cabinet, leaving Labour without a minister for local government on the eve of the council elections.
But it was the resignation of Mr Purnell late on Thursday night which seemed to have dealt Mr Brown a mortal blow.
Breaking from the precedent, Mr Purnell placed his reasoning squarely on his lack of confidence in Mr Brown as Prime Minister.
In a letter to The Times and The Sun newspapers, he said, "I now believe your continued leadership makes a Conservative victory more, not less likely."
Mr Purnell made it clear he was acting alone, but rumours spread that the Cabinet was ready to bring down the Prime Minister.
The tension only increased further on Friday when early results in the local elections suggested Labour would be battered at the ballot box and an email apparently circulated calling on him to resign.
Fears over the result were borne out by a record-low 23% share of the popular vote, 15 points down on the Conservatives and even five points down on the Liberal Democrats.
Labour lost their majorities in Lancashire, Derbyshire and Staffordshire to the Tories who also gained Devon and Somerset from the Lib Dems.
Nottinghamshire fell to no overall control as matters seemed to spiral out of control. Former Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott launched a scathing attack on Labour's "non-campaign" in the elections.
Mr Brown hastily brought forward his reshuffle to Friday - but even this was fraught with problems.
John Hutton resigned as Defence Secretary for personal reasons and Geoff Hoon stepped down as Transport Secretary.
But neither followed Mr Purnell in criticising the Prime Minister as the rumours of a Cabinet plot died away.
Indeed, Mr Brown seemed to have strengthened his position further by appointing the man who was most likely to challenge him – Alan Johnston – as the new Home Secretary.
He was, however, unable to move ally Ed Balls from Schools to the Treasury with expenses-hit Alistair Darling unwilling to relinquish his post as Chancellor.
This was despite briefings from Number 10 to the lobby that Mr Darling would not be in post after the shake-up.
And, just as Mr Brown was seeking to reassert his authority in a press conference by pretending these briefings never took place, he was dealt yet another blow.
Europe Minister Caroline Flint, who had only 24 hours earlier pledged her allegiance to Mr Brown, resigned and launched a scathing attack on his treatment of women in the Cabinet.
In her letter, she said: "Several of the women attending Cabinet - myself included - have been treated by you as little more than female window dressing."
The Prime Minister's aides were quick to dismiss the statement but it seems likely, whether it is true or not, that the charge of "female window dressing" will resonate and tarnish Mr Brown's premiership forever.
But with the Cabinet finally under a semblance of control - confirmation that Mr Purnell had indeed acted alone - it became obvious that it would need to be the backbenchers who would bring down Mr Brown.
Sunday's European election results gave the would-be rebels even more ammunition as Labour was forced into third place, behind UKIP.
And tension grew again yesterday in the wake of the poll disaster as Mr Brown faced a meeting of the Parliamentary Labour Party.
But it all passed off without much incident.
The dissenting voices from the backbenches include former Home Secretary Charles Clarke and ex-Cabinet minister Stephen Byers but they remain a bunch of disorganised individuals.
And while Gordon Brown may have lost the support of the public, he retains the backing of his reshuffled Cabinet – at least overtly.
It remains to be seen whether he can stick around for another year until the general election but his notorious stubbornness suggests he could.
Even if he does somehow make it, though, this week's results suggest he will do little more than lead Labour into an increasingly inevitable electoral wilderness.
Sunday, 7 June 2009
The Apprentice - series 5, ep 12: Yasmina proves sweet for Sugar
Yasmina won the fifth series of The Apprentice, narrowly beating Kate in what Sir Alan Sugar described as his toughest decision on the programme yet.
Both candidates were praised for their abilities, which were again in evidence in the final task.
Sir Alan had asked Kate and Yasmina to create and launch a brand new box of chocolates. The finalists were also responsible for marketing, a television ad and a pitch to industry experts.
Several of the previous candidates returned to help out. Interestingly, Kate avoided choosing Philip with whom she is still in a relationship.
Instead, she chose Ben, Debra, Kimberley and Rocky while Yasmina's team was Howard, Lorraine, James and Philip.
At the ideas stage, Kate stole a march with a “sensual sharing” concept of his and hers chocolates suggested by Ben.
Old habits die hard for Ben, though, as he tried to force a ‘sex sells’ twist on the campaign which Kate rejected swiftly.
Instead, Kate’s box design fitted well with the concept with a tray for her, a tray for him and one to share.
In contrast to Kate’s quick start, Yasmina’s group was struggling to come up with a unique idea.
James’s suggestion of chocolates being bought by a woman for a man seemed to be their only option.
But when they pitched their thoughts to a group of men and then to industry insiders, they realised it was going to be quite a hard sell.
It was looking as if Yasmina might be headed to a half-baked disaster like ‘Pantsman’ (which Philip remarkably still tried to defend).
And so she focused on a brand name instead. She soon came up with ‘Cocoa Electric’ and decided her theme would be the creation of innovative flavours.
Their box would be a simple design which opened from both sides leaving a striking shocking-pink-coloured electric bolt in the middle.
With Yasmina finally on her way to a rounded idea, it was now Kate who was struggling, particularly in terms of a brand name.
Her choice, called ‘Intimate’, raised Nick Hewer’s eyebrows and Debra suggested that when put on a box, it made the product look like panty-liners.
Kate was wary of making last minute changes but Ben, who was on form during this task, scored with his suggestion, ‘Choc d’Amour’.
With both contestants happy about their idea and their box design, the next stage of the task was to move onto choosing their chocolates, directing their television ad and preparing for the pitch.
Kate had put Kimberley in charge of directing her TV advert but stepped in herself when she realised she was playing it far too safe.
Kate gave the ad a slightly kinkier twist – so maybe Ben was right after all about sex selling, though she rightly rebuffed his ‘69’ box design.
Meanwhile, Ben, Debra and Rocky set about choosing the chocolate flavours and hiring props for the launch presentation.
This left Kate with another major decision. The quality of the chocolates suggested by her team mates required her to put up her retail price to £13.
By contrast, Yasmina decided to use much cheaper flavourings, allowing her to set her price at a much more reasonable £6.
But her television ad had less of a narrative and one of the actors complained about the taste of his basil sweet.
On the other part of Yasmina’s team, Philip was allowed to express his creative side.
He worked with James and Lorraine to choreograph the dancers and draw up a poster for the launch presentation.
At first, Yasmina said she was looking forward to the pitch, describing it as being “more exciting than getting married”.
But, as time wore on, the nerves increased. She remained unsure of her presentational style during the rehearsal, suffering a last-minute panic.
Even Kate, usually so collected, feared stage fright against which she said no one is immune.
As ever, though, Kate performed confidently and her campaign was well accepted in the room.
The main concern from the industry reps was unsurprisingly about the price and her hope to launch her chocolates as a mass-market product.
Yasmina also had little to worry about in the end and gave a clear pitch. There was, however, scepticism in the room over her flavours and whether her chocolates would have staying power.
Back in the boardroom, Sir Alan repeated the one main concern against each product but said that otherwise the finalists had done brilliantly.
After thanking the other contestants for their help, Sir Alan also asked Kate and Yasmina to leave the boardroom while he discussed his decision with his advisors.
On their return, both hopefuls were given a final chance to convince Sir Alan to hire them.
Kate highlighted her consistency throughout the series, saying she had done well in the soap and cereal tasks in particular.
She said her main motivation for the job was she felt Sir Alan’s company was the best place to develop her career and her aspiration to be a director.
Yasmina also pointed to her task record and the fine achievement of three wins out of three as project manager.
She added that she now had a wider repertoire of skills – in terms of presentational style – than previously.
And she batted away Sir Alan’s continued concerns over her own business. He raised the spectre of her 20 employees becoming unemployed but she replied they would be in safe hands with her brother.
It was enough to convince Sir Alan as Yasmina upset the odds.
He said: “It is a tough decision. You are the best that I have ever had in the final in this boardroom – that, I promise you. My instincts are telling me – Yasmina, you’re hired.”
In a victorious black cab ride, Yasmina said: “I do wish Kate all the best – she’s such a nice girl – but I don’t feel guilty for winning.
“I worked so hard and I kept my head down and just kept going. I do think that I deserve to win.”
And so ends another series of The Apprentice. It has proved a brilliant watch since February and its popularity has held strong at just under 9m viewers throughout the series.
One of its strengths is the refusal to change the winning format which has been in place since its earliest airings.
Needless to say, I sincerely hope that the loss of Margaret Mountford for series six will not lead to a wider overhaul of changes for next year.
Both candidates were praised for their abilities, which were again in evidence in the final task.
Sir Alan had asked Kate and Yasmina to create and launch a brand new box of chocolates. The finalists were also responsible for marketing, a television ad and a pitch to industry experts.
Several of the previous candidates returned to help out. Interestingly, Kate avoided choosing Philip with whom she is still in a relationship.
Instead, she chose Ben, Debra, Kimberley and Rocky while Yasmina's team was Howard, Lorraine, James and Philip.
At the ideas stage, Kate stole a march with a “sensual sharing” concept of his and hers chocolates suggested by Ben.
Old habits die hard for Ben, though, as he tried to force a ‘sex sells’ twist on the campaign which Kate rejected swiftly.
Instead, Kate’s box design fitted well with the concept with a tray for her, a tray for him and one to share.
In contrast to Kate’s quick start, Yasmina’s group was struggling to come up with a unique idea.
James’s suggestion of chocolates being bought by a woman for a man seemed to be their only option.
But when they pitched their thoughts to a group of men and then to industry insiders, they realised it was going to be quite a hard sell.
It was looking as if Yasmina might be headed to a half-baked disaster like ‘Pantsman’ (which Philip remarkably still tried to defend).
And so she focused on a brand name instead. She soon came up with ‘Cocoa Electric’ and decided her theme would be the creation of innovative flavours.
Their box would be a simple design which opened from both sides leaving a striking shocking-pink-coloured electric bolt in the middle.
With Yasmina finally on her way to a rounded idea, it was now Kate who was struggling, particularly in terms of a brand name.
Her choice, called ‘Intimate’, raised Nick Hewer’s eyebrows and Debra suggested that when put on a box, it made the product look like panty-liners.
Kate was wary of making last minute changes but Ben, who was on form during this task, scored with his suggestion, ‘Choc d’Amour’.
With both contestants happy about their idea and their box design, the next stage of the task was to move onto choosing their chocolates, directing their television ad and preparing for the pitch.
Kate had put Kimberley in charge of directing her TV advert but stepped in herself when she realised she was playing it far too safe.
Kate gave the ad a slightly kinkier twist – so maybe Ben was right after all about sex selling, though she rightly rebuffed his ‘69’ box design.
Meanwhile, Ben, Debra and Rocky set about choosing the chocolate flavours and hiring props for the launch presentation.
This left Kate with another major decision. The quality of the chocolates suggested by her team mates required her to put up her retail price to £13.
By contrast, Yasmina decided to use much cheaper flavourings, allowing her to set her price at a much more reasonable £6.
But her television ad had less of a narrative and one of the actors complained about the taste of his basil sweet.
On the other part of Yasmina’s team, Philip was allowed to express his creative side.
He worked with James and Lorraine to choreograph the dancers and draw up a poster for the launch presentation.
At first, Yasmina said she was looking forward to the pitch, describing it as being “more exciting than getting married”.
But, as time wore on, the nerves increased. She remained unsure of her presentational style during the rehearsal, suffering a last-minute panic.
Even Kate, usually so collected, feared stage fright against which she said no one is immune.
As ever, though, Kate performed confidently and her campaign was well accepted in the room.
The main concern from the industry reps was unsurprisingly about the price and her hope to launch her chocolates as a mass-market product.
Yasmina also had little to worry about in the end and gave a clear pitch. There was, however, scepticism in the room over her flavours and whether her chocolates would have staying power.
Back in the boardroom, Sir Alan repeated the one main concern against each product but said that otherwise the finalists had done brilliantly.
After thanking the other contestants for their help, Sir Alan also asked Kate and Yasmina to leave the boardroom while he discussed his decision with his advisors.
On their return, both hopefuls were given a final chance to convince Sir Alan to hire them.
Kate highlighted her consistency throughout the series, saying she had done well in the soap and cereal tasks in particular.
She said her main motivation for the job was she felt Sir Alan’s company was the best place to develop her career and her aspiration to be a director.
Yasmina also pointed to her task record and the fine achievement of three wins out of three as project manager.
She added that she now had a wider repertoire of skills – in terms of presentational style – than previously.
And she batted away Sir Alan’s continued concerns over her own business. He raised the spectre of her 20 employees becoming unemployed but she replied they would be in safe hands with her brother.
It was enough to convince Sir Alan as Yasmina upset the odds.
He said: “It is a tough decision. You are the best that I have ever had in the final in this boardroom – that, I promise you. My instincts are telling me – Yasmina, you’re hired.”
In a victorious black cab ride, Yasmina said: “I do wish Kate all the best – she’s such a nice girl – but I don’t feel guilty for winning.
“I worked so hard and I kept my head down and just kept going. I do think that I deserve to win.”
And so ends another series of The Apprentice. It has proved a brilliant watch since February and its popularity has held strong at just under 9m viewers throughout the series.
One of its strengths is the refusal to change the winning format which has been in place since its earliest airings.
Needless to say, I sincerely hope that the loss of Margaret Mountford for series six will not lead to a wider overhaul of changes for next year.
Thursday, 4 June 2009
Big Brother 10: The contestants
BIG Brother is back on our screens and the usual freaks and clowns have been delivered by the television producers.
This year's twist is that none of the 16 entrants are actual housemates yet*. The eight men and eight women will have to earn that status during their time in the house.
The house itself has been stripped to a rudimentary level with no kitchen and no bedrooms. The contestants will have to sit on the boxes and crates and sleep on the floor.
The full run-down of the ensemble, as introduced tonight by Davina McCall, is:
Freddie, 23, entrepreneur. A music writer who votes Conservative and believes in the free market and free love. Booed on his way into the house and soon found there were no other rooms.
Lisa, 41, unemployed. Self-assured and convinced she can convert straight girls into sleeping with her. Sporting a mohican haircut, she took an age to get into the house as she milked a generally good reception.
Sophie, 20, model. Blonde socialite-wannabe with 30FF boobs who has modelled nude for Playboy. She wanted to be an air hostess but does not like flying. Does not like sand, spiders or boring people. So she'll be at home on BB then...
Kris, 24, visual merchandiser. Curly-haired guy who fancies himself far too much. His job effectively is to stack shelves neatly. Booed by many on his way into the house, some shrieks from the girls.
Noirin, 25. Irish daughter of a missionary priest, she mixes a highly religious background with exhibitionism on a weekend in clubs, sometimes forgetting to wear knickers. Given a poor reception on the way into the house.
Cairon, 18, student. Wears bright clothes who says he lives by his own rules. Hates back-stabbing, two-faced people. Good luck this summer, then.
Angel, 35, professional boxer. Female athlete who runs her fitness club. She used to be a pop star in her country. Arrived with a top hat and cane and took a long time to enter the house, attracting boos and cat-calls.
Karly, 21, unemployed. Self-confessed 'bitch' who is another one fancying herself a bit too much. Another girl who has posed nude and appeared in FHM as a 'high-street honey'. She would quite like to be a footballer's wife. Another one who was booed into the house.
Marcus, 35, window fitter. He likes action heroes and thinks Wolverine looks like him, not the other way round. He believes he is a trend-setter. Given one of the more favourable receptions.
Beinazir, 28, receptionist. Her father knew the late Pakistan president, Beinazir Bhutto. She disagrees with Muslim girls who cover up and gets annoyed by arrogant men, describing herself as an Alpha female. She loves her jewellery and is taking 149 different pieces into the house.
Sophie, 26, personal banking assistant. Pint-sized banker who suffered from lupus which bloated her and left her with stretch marks. She shrieked excitedly all the way into the house but had the crowd on her side.
Rodrigo, 23, student. A bouncy Brazilian boy who loves the UK because it has given him more opportunity than his homeland. A Christian who goes to church every day but he is unsure of his sexuality. He was given a good reception.
Charlie, 22, job centre advisor. A gay Geordie who is a former Mr Gay Newcastle, undoubtedly a big fan of the Pink Triangle in Times Square. Possibly the quickest ever entrance to the house to a decent reception.
Saffia, 27, dental nurse. She judges others on first impressions and usually perceives them negatively. She has two children, a six-year-old and a young baby from different fathers, neither of whom she is with now. She thinks men are sperm-donors and would consider lesbianism. Not a great reception from the crowd.
Sree, 25, students union president. An Indian and a Hindu who I am sure will get on brilliantly with Pakistani Muslim Benaizir. Went into the house waving an India flag and wearing a groovy Union Jack shirt. He received some boos and some cheers.
Siavash, 23, music event organiser. A hairy, off-the-wall Iranian with a curly moustache. His biggest regret is not having bigger willy and his favourite word is his own name. He arrived in a blue suit and was given quite a hostile reception.
*Immediately after the launch show, Rodrigo and Noirin gained full housemate status. Rodrigo had to shave Noirin's eyebrows and draw glasses and a moustache on her with marker within four minutes. Amid much fuss, this was achieved.
On Sunday, the public will be able to vote for which other contestants they would like to be considered for full housemate status.
This year's twist is that none of the 16 entrants are actual housemates yet*. The eight men and eight women will have to earn that status during their time in the house.
The house itself has been stripped to a rudimentary level with no kitchen and no bedrooms. The contestants will have to sit on the boxes and crates and sleep on the floor.
The full run-down of the ensemble, as introduced tonight by Davina McCall, is:
Freddie, 23, entrepreneur. A music writer who votes Conservative and believes in the free market and free love. Booed on his way into the house and soon found there were no other rooms.
Lisa, 41, unemployed. Self-assured and convinced she can convert straight girls into sleeping with her. Sporting a mohican haircut, she took an age to get into the house as she milked a generally good reception.
Sophie, 20, model. Blonde socialite-wannabe with 30FF boobs who has modelled nude for Playboy. She wanted to be an air hostess but does not like flying. Does not like sand, spiders or boring people. So she'll be at home on BB then...
Kris, 24, visual merchandiser. Curly-haired guy who fancies himself far too much. His job effectively is to stack shelves neatly. Booed by many on his way into the house, some shrieks from the girls.
Noirin, 25. Irish daughter of a missionary priest, she mixes a highly religious background with exhibitionism on a weekend in clubs, sometimes forgetting to wear knickers. Given a poor reception on the way into the house.
Cairon, 18, student. Wears bright clothes who says he lives by his own rules. Hates back-stabbing, two-faced people. Good luck this summer, then.
Angel, 35, professional boxer. Female athlete who runs her fitness club. She used to be a pop star in her country. Arrived with a top hat and cane and took a long time to enter the house, attracting boos and cat-calls.
Karly, 21, unemployed. Self-confessed 'bitch' who is another one fancying herself a bit too much. Another girl who has posed nude and appeared in FHM as a 'high-street honey'. She would quite like to be a footballer's wife. Another one who was booed into the house.
Marcus, 35, window fitter. He likes action heroes and thinks Wolverine looks like him, not the other way round. He believes he is a trend-setter. Given one of the more favourable receptions.
Beinazir, 28, receptionist. Her father knew the late Pakistan president, Beinazir Bhutto. She disagrees with Muslim girls who cover up and gets annoyed by arrogant men, describing herself as an Alpha female. She loves her jewellery and is taking 149 different pieces into the house.
Sophie, 26, personal banking assistant. Pint-sized banker who suffered from lupus which bloated her and left her with stretch marks. She shrieked excitedly all the way into the house but had the crowd on her side.
Rodrigo, 23, student. A bouncy Brazilian boy who loves the UK because it has given him more opportunity than his homeland. A Christian who goes to church every day but he is unsure of his sexuality. He was given a good reception.
Charlie, 22, job centre advisor. A gay Geordie who is a former Mr Gay Newcastle, undoubtedly a big fan of the Pink Triangle in Times Square. Possibly the quickest ever entrance to the house to a decent reception.
Saffia, 27, dental nurse. She judges others on first impressions and usually perceives them negatively. She has two children, a six-year-old and a young baby from different fathers, neither of whom she is with now. She thinks men are sperm-donors and would consider lesbianism. Not a great reception from the crowd.
Sree, 25, students union president. An Indian and a Hindu who I am sure will get on brilliantly with Pakistani Muslim Benaizir. Went into the house waving an India flag and wearing a groovy Union Jack shirt. He received some boos and some cheers.
Siavash, 23, music event organiser. A hairy, off-the-wall Iranian with a curly moustache. His biggest regret is not having bigger willy and his favourite word is his own name. He arrived in a blue suit and was given quite a hostile reception.
*Immediately after the launch show, Rodrigo and Noirin gained full housemate status. Rodrigo had to shave Noirin's eyebrows and draw glasses and a moustache on her with marker within four minutes. Amid much fuss, this was achieved.
On Sunday, the public will be able to vote for which other contestants they would like to be considered for full housemate status.
The Apprentice - series 5, ep 11: Kate and Yasmina in the final
Kate and Yasmina will contest the final of The Apprentice after James, Lorraine and Debra were fired at the gruelling interview stage.
In keeping with previous series, with this being the penultimate week, the five remaining candidates were grilled by some of Sir Alan's businesses associates.
Tough cookie Claude Litner was joined by Bordan Tkachuk, chief executive of Viglen Computers, Karren Brady, MD at Birmingham City FC, and city litigator Alan Watts.
Before the interviews, Kate and Yasmina said that they were good at them and were looking forward to it.
But Lorraine looked anything but confident as she arrived at Viglen, the interview venue.
It was James who was the first to be put under pressure, though, as Claude ripped into his CV for being full of jargon such as “rate-busting NGN”.
Kate found it easier going in her face-to-face with Bordan and returned down the stairs with a Cheshire cat grin.
Then Yasmina explained her restaurant background to Karren but had her figures torn apart by Claude.
She seemed surprised Claude had managed to get a hold of her business accounts even though it is a public document.
And finance manager Yasmina compounded her uncertainty by mixing up gross profit and net profit, and lost track of her turnover.
It was a haunting repeat of her poor mathematical performance when she and Paula decided to use sandalwood instead of cedarwood in the cosmetics task.
Not that she let the other candidates know of her grilling, unconvincingly suggesting Claude was a “nice man” (*See UPDATE).
Lorraine continued to remain nervous before facing Karren who asked her about her now notorious intuition, which was referred to as a “unique gift” on her CV.
Then Karren dropped a bombshell by uncovering that Lorraine had put the wrong start date of her most recent employer down.
Lorraine attempted a defence of this by suggesting it could be a misprint but this does not seem likely.
She had put May 07 down instead of May 08 – hardly something she would have struggled to remember correctly!
On returning to the seats in the foyer with the other candidates, she called her interview performance “horrendous”.
When the youngest of the hopefuls Debra, faced Claude, he suggested that she could not be relied upon as a team player.
But Debra launched a passionate defence of her style.
James could not do the same, however, as Claude struggled to take him seriously.
He revealed James had written on his CV that his role is “to put a leash on people who spunk money up the wall” and that he could bring “ignorance” to a job with Sir Alan.
Alan Watts became next to provoke a reaction from James by suggesting he was a little immature for a 31-year-old.
On his return, James described his experience as like being “turned inside out”.
Claude and Karren picked up on Kate’s statement on her CV that she would struggle to work in a female-dominated workplace.
Kate suggested that women are too emotional – that they moan and whinge too much.
But this is exactly what Kate did when Karren brought up the touchy subject of Philip distracting her in an earlier task.
Debra, meanwhile, had two horrific references read out to her by Alan Watts and Karren.
And then Alan highlighted the huge risk Yasmina had taken when persuading her mother to remortgage her house for the restaurant’s start-up costs.
In her interview with Karren, Lorraine spoke about some of the difficulties in her life – a divorce and a sickly child – and her failure to develop relationships with the other candidates.
But, other than her problem with a female workforce, Claude admitted he struggled to find any holes in Kate’s CV.
Kate denied she was “Little Miss Perfect” and, equally, denied she was too robotic and not passionate enough herself.
On the following day, Sir Alan’s associates spoke with him about the interviews in the boardroom.
The first candidate to be assessed was Lorraine.
Alan Watts thought she would drive Sir Alan mad with her incessant chatter while Karren and Bordan were sceptical of her “unique gift”.
Margaret Mountford defended Lorraine somewhat by recalling she had often been right during the series but Claude still doubted if she could cope.
Yasmina was next up for discussion.
Claude defended her entrepreneurial spirit but, once again, criticised her figures and her risky decision to get her mother to remortgage her home.
Sir Alan, Nick Hewer and Karren defended Yasmina on this latter point.
But Sir Alan remained concerned about why she wanted a position with him when she already has her own business.
James united opinion from the panel.
All of them considered he was too much of a joker and his final illusion about Sir Alan as Willy Wonka proved to be the death-knell for Karren.
She and Alan Watts also picked up that he was touchy when his immaturity was brought up and said he became completely fazed.
Margaret defended James’s team leader record but Nick suggested he had been extremely lucky to get that far.
Kate also drew similar comments from the boardroom but this time they were more positive.
All of the interviewers were impressed by Kate’s cool performance but worried if her unflappability made her too robotic.
Finally, Debra was bashed for the brutal references which she had provided herself and failed to convince Alan Watts or Bordan who considered her a risk.
But Claude and Karren were more impressed by her bolshie style and believe she can tone herself down as she is still young at 23.
After thanking his advisors, Sir Alan invited the final five back into the boardroom to defend their interview performances.
No one seemed keen to start but James eventually took the plunge and gave another unconvincing defence of his light-hearted style.
Debra repeated she had taken on the negative feedback she had received over her abrasive style.
And Kate once again defended herself against accusations of being robotic.
Moving onto Lorraine, Sir Alan agreed that she was strong for overcoming problems in her life.
But he remained worried about her failure to communicate well with her colleagues.
He also said he was still bemused by Yasmina’s desire to move away from her own business.
But there was a clear weak link in the final five and it was the last standing male candidate.
Sir Alan said: “James, I’ve taken on board what you’ve said and there’s nothing wrong in someone being light-hearted and making people laugh a lot. You’ve made me laugh a lot in this boardroom.
“I think that you’re a corporate man – that environment doesn’t exist in my place. So, with regret, you’re fired.”
James was probably the most popular candidate among his compatriots and tears were shed at his exit by the others.
Sir Alan asked the others to leave to regain their composure and, on their return, he revealed there were only going to be two finalists.
He again ran through each hopeful’s strengths and weaknesses but it was Lorraine’s character flaws which stuck with him.
Sir Alan said: “You’ve had altercations with people, after-the-horse-has-bolted statements. I feel I have seen that in you at least three times.
“I have to balance what I think is going to be suitable for my organisation. So, I’m going to have to say to you – you’re fired.”
And so there were three – Kate, Debra and Yasmina.
Kate was given early cause for celebration as he decided she was definitely going through to the final before deciding which of the others to fire.
It was a tough call for Sir Alan but, in the end, he felt he could not take the risk on Debra though he did ask her to keep in touch.
He said: “Debra, you should be proud of yourself.
“I’ve made my decision and I wish you the very, very best of luck and I know that you’re going to be successful in the future. Debra, you’re fired.”
So, an all-female final for the second time in the history of the show – there was also one in series two.
But it was never likely that James would prevent it.
Kate will start as the favourite but this has not always been the best position.
Highly-fancied Ruth Badger and Claire Young in previous series were both runners-up. The final on Sunday at 9pm will reveal if it happens again.
*UPDATE: the BBC has since admitted production company Talkback Thames used the wrong edit following Yasmina's interview with Claude. She had actually said, "Guys, that was just terrible - a really awful interview". She has accepted an apology.
In keeping with previous series, with this being the penultimate week, the five remaining candidates were grilled by some of Sir Alan's businesses associates.
Tough cookie Claude Litner was joined by Bordan Tkachuk, chief executive of Viglen Computers, Karren Brady, MD at Birmingham City FC, and city litigator Alan Watts.
Before the interviews, Kate and Yasmina said that they were good at them and were looking forward to it.
But Lorraine looked anything but confident as she arrived at Viglen, the interview venue.
It was James who was the first to be put under pressure, though, as Claude ripped into his CV for being full of jargon such as “rate-busting NGN”.
Kate found it easier going in her face-to-face with Bordan and returned down the stairs with a Cheshire cat grin.
Then Yasmina explained her restaurant background to Karren but had her figures torn apart by Claude.
She seemed surprised Claude had managed to get a hold of her business accounts even though it is a public document.
And finance manager Yasmina compounded her uncertainty by mixing up gross profit and net profit, and lost track of her turnover.
It was a haunting repeat of her poor mathematical performance when she and Paula decided to use sandalwood instead of cedarwood in the cosmetics task.
Not that she let the other candidates know of her grilling, unconvincingly suggesting Claude was a “nice man” (*See UPDATE).
Lorraine continued to remain nervous before facing Karren who asked her about her now notorious intuition, which was referred to as a “unique gift” on her CV.
Then Karren dropped a bombshell by uncovering that Lorraine had put the wrong start date of her most recent employer down.
Lorraine attempted a defence of this by suggesting it could be a misprint but this does not seem likely.
She had put May 07 down instead of May 08 – hardly something she would have struggled to remember correctly!
On returning to the seats in the foyer with the other candidates, she called her interview performance “horrendous”.
When the youngest of the hopefuls Debra, faced Claude, he suggested that she could not be relied upon as a team player.
But Debra launched a passionate defence of her style.
James could not do the same, however, as Claude struggled to take him seriously.
He revealed James had written on his CV that his role is “to put a leash on people who spunk money up the wall” and that he could bring “ignorance” to a job with Sir Alan.
Alan Watts became next to provoke a reaction from James by suggesting he was a little immature for a 31-year-old.
On his return, James described his experience as like being “turned inside out”.
Claude and Karren picked up on Kate’s statement on her CV that she would struggle to work in a female-dominated workplace.
Kate suggested that women are too emotional – that they moan and whinge too much.
But this is exactly what Kate did when Karren brought up the touchy subject of Philip distracting her in an earlier task.
Debra, meanwhile, had two horrific references read out to her by Alan Watts and Karren.
And then Alan highlighted the huge risk Yasmina had taken when persuading her mother to remortgage her house for the restaurant’s start-up costs.
In her interview with Karren, Lorraine spoke about some of the difficulties in her life – a divorce and a sickly child – and her failure to develop relationships with the other candidates.
But, other than her problem with a female workforce, Claude admitted he struggled to find any holes in Kate’s CV.
Kate denied she was “Little Miss Perfect” and, equally, denied she was too robotic and not passionate enough herself.
On the following day, Sir Alan’s associates spoke with him about the interviews in the boardroom.
The first candidate to be assessed was Lorraine.
Alan Watts thought she would drive Sir Alan mad with her incessant chatter while Karren and Bordan were sceptical of her “unique gift”.
Margaret Mountford defended Lorraine somewhat by recalling she had often been right during the series but Claude still doubted if she could cope.
Yasmina was next up for discussion.
Claude defended her entrepreneurial spirit but, once again, criticised her figures and her risky decision to get her mother to remortgage her home.
Sir Alan, Nick Hewer and Karren defended Yasmina on this latter point.
But Sir Alan remained concerned about why she wanted a position with him when she already has her own business.
James united opinion from the panel.
All of them considered he was too much of a joker and his final illusion about Sir Alan as Willy Wonka proved to be the death-knell for Karren.
She and Alan Watts also picked up that he was touchy when his immaturity was brought up and said he became completely fazed.
Margaret defended James’s team leader record but Nick suggested he had been extremely lucky to get that far.
Kate also drew similar comments from the boardroom but this time they were more positive.
All of the interviewers were impressed by Kate’s cool performance but worried if her unflappability made her too robotic.
Finally, Debra was bashed for the brutal references which she had provided herself and failed to convince Alan Watts or Bordan who considered her a risk.
But Claude and Karren were more impressed by her bolshie style and believe she can tone herself down as she is still young at 23.
After thanking his advisors, Sir Alan invited the final five back into the boardroom to defend their interview performances.
No one seemed keen to start but James eventually took the plunge and gave another unconvincing defence of his light-hearted style.
Debra repeated she had taken on the negative feedback she had received over her abrasive style.
And Kate once again defended herself against accusations of being robotic.
Moving onto Lorraine, Sir Alan agreed that she was strong for overcoming problems in her life.
But he remained worried about her failure to communicate well with her colleagues.
He also said he was still bemused by Yasmina’s desire to move away from her own business.
But there was a clear weak link in the final five and it was the last standing male candidate.
Sir Alan said: “James, I’ve taken on board what you’ve said and there’s nothing wrong in someone being light-hearted and making people laugh a lot. You’ve made me laugh a lot in this boardroom.
“I think that you’re a corporate man – that environment doesn’t exist in my place. So, with regret, you’re fired.”
James was probably the most popular candidate among his compatriots and tears were shed at his exit by the others.
Sir Alan asked the others to leave to regain their composure and, on their return, he revealed there were only going to be two finalists.
He again ran through each hopeful’s strengths and weaknesses but it was Lorraine’s character flaws which stuck with him.
Sir Alan said: “You’ve had altercations with people, after-the-horse-has-bolted statements. I feel I have seen that in you at least three times.
“I have to balance what I think is going to be suitable for my organisation. So, I’m going to have to say to you – you’re fired.”
And so there were three – Kate, Debra and Yasmina.
Kate was given early cause for celebration as he decided she was definitely going through to the final before deciding which of the others to fire.
It was a tough call for Sir Alan but, in the end, he felt he could not take the risk on Debra though he did ask her to keep in touch.
He said: “Debra, you should be proud of yourself.
“I’ve made my decision and I wish you the very, very best of luck and I know that you’re going to be successful in the future. Debra, you’re fired.”
So, an all-female final for the second time in the history of the show – there was also one in series two.
But it was never likely that James would prevent it.
Kate will start as the favourite but this has not always been the best position.
Highly-fancied Ruth Badger and Claire Young in previous series were both runners-up. The final on Sunday at 9pm will reveal if it happens again.
*UPDATE: the BBC has since admitted production company Talkback Thames used the wrong edit following Yasmina's interview with Claude. She had actually said, "Guys, that was just terrible - a really awful interview". She has accepted an apology.
Monday, 1 June 2009
For the record...
With Chelsea's 2-1 win in the Cup final, the domestic football season is over. The trophies have been handed out, the gongs bestowed and certain relegations have been suffered:
EUROPE AND BEYOND
UEFA Champions League
Final: FC Barcelona 2-0 Manchester United
UEFA Cup
Final: Shakhtar Donetsk 2-1 Werder Bremen (after extra time)
UEFA Super Cup
Final: Zenit St Petersburg 2-1 Manchester United
FIFA Club World Cup
Final: Manchester United 1-0 LDU Quito
ENGLAND (League)
FA Premier League
Champions: Manchester United (qualify for Champions League groups automatically)
Runners-up: Liverpool (qualify for Champions League groups automatically)
Third/fourth: Chelsea (qualify for Champions League groups automatically), Arsenal (in Champions League third qualifying round)
Europa League: Everton (5th), Aston Villa (6th), Fulham (7th)
Relegated: Newcastle United (18th), Middlesbrough (19th), West Bromwich Albion (20th)
FA Cup
Final: Chelsea 2-1 Everton
Carling Cup
Final: Manchester United 0-0 Tottenham Hotspur (after extra time)
Manchester United won 4-1 on penalties
The Championship
Champions: Wolverhampton Wanderers
Runners-up: Birmingham City
Playoff final: Burnley 1-0 Sheffield United
Relegated: Norwich City (22nd), Southampton (23rd), Charlton Athletic (24th)
League One
Champions: Leicester City
Runners-up: Peterborough United
Playoff final: Scunthorpe United 3-2 Millwall
Relegated: Northampton Town (21st), Crewe Alexandra (22nd), Cheltenham Town (23rd), Hereford United (24th)
League Two
Champions: Brentford
Also promoted: Exeter City (runners-up), Wycombe Wanderers (3rd)
Playoff final: Gillingham 1-0 Shrewsbury Town
Relegated: Chester City (23rd), Luton Town (24th)
FA Community Shield
Final: Manchester United 0-0 Portsmouth
Manchester United won 3-1 on penalties
Johnstone’s Paint Trophy
Final: Luton Town 3-2 Scunthorpe United (after extra time)
ENGLAND (Non-league)
Blue Square Premier
Champions: Burton Albion
Playoff final: Torquay United 2-0 Cambridge United
Relegated: Woking (21st), Northwich Victoria (22nd), Weymouth (23rd), Lewes (24th)
Blue Square North
Champions: Tamworth Town
Playoff final: Gateshead 1-0 AFC Telford
Relegated: Hyde United (20th), Burscough (21st), Hucknall Town (22nd)
Blue Square South
Champions: AFC Wimbledon
Playoff final: Hayes & Yeading 3-2 Hampton & Richmond
Relegated: Thurrock (20th), Bognor Regis Town (21st), Fisher Athletic (22nd)
FA Trophy
Final: Stevenage Borough 2-0 York City
FA Vase
Final: Whitley Bay 2-0 Glossop North End
Setanta Shield
Final: AFC Telford 0-0 Forest Green Rovers (after extra time)
AFC Telford won 3-0 on penalties
SCOTLAND
Scottish Premier League
Champions: Rangers (qualify for Champions League groups automatically)
Runners-up: Celtic (in Champions League third qualifying round)
Third/fourth: Hearts (3rd, in Europa League playoff round), Aberdeen (4th, in Europa League third qualifying round)
Also in Europe: Motherwell (Fair Play award, in Europa League first qualifying round)
Relegated: Inverness Caledonian Thistle
Scottish Division One
Champions: St Johnstone
Relegated: Airdrie United (9th, relegated via playoff), Clyde (10th)
Scottish Division Two
Champions: Raith Rovers
Runners-up: Ayr United (promoted via playoff)
Relegated: Queen’s Park (9th, relegated via playoff), Stranraer (10th)
Scottish Division Three
Champions: Dumbarton
Also promoted: Stenhousemuir (4th, promoted via playoff)
Scottish FA Cup
Final: Rangers 1-0 Falkirk
(Falkirk, as losing finalist, in Europa League second qualifying round)
Scottish League Cup
Final: Celtic 2-0 Rangers (after extra time)
Scottish Challenge Cup
Final: Airdrie United 2-2 Ross County (after extra time)
Airdrie United won 3-2 on penalties
WALES
Welsh Premier League
Champions: Rhyl (in Champions League second qualifying round)
Runners up: Llanelli (in Europa League first qualifying round)
Third: The New Saints (in Europa League first qualifying round)
Relegated: Caersws (17th), Caernarfon Town (18th)
Welsh FA Cup
Final: Bangor City 2-0 Aberystwyth
(Bangor City in Europa League second qualifying round)
Welsh League Cup
Final: The New Saints 2-0 Bangor City
NORTHERN IRELAND
IFA Premiership
Champions: Glentoran (in Champions League second qualifying round)
Runners up: Linfield (in Europa League first qualifying round)
Third: Crusaders
Fourth: Lisburn Distillery (in Europa League first qualifying round)
Relegated: Bangor
Irish FA Cup
Final: Crusaders 1-0 Cliftonville
(Crusaders in Europa League second qualifying round)
Irish League Cup
Final: Portadown 1-0 Newry City
EUROPE AND BEYOND
UEFA Champions League
Final: FC Barcelona 2-0 Manchester United
UEFA Cup
Final: Shakhtar Donetsk 2-1 Werder Bremen (after extra time)
UEFA Super Cup
Final: Zenit St Petersburg 2-1 Manchester United
FIFA Club World Cup
Final: Manchester United 1-0 LDU Quito
ENGLAND (League)
FA Premier League
Champions: Manchester United (qualify for Champions League groups automatically)
Runners-up: Liverpool (qualify for Champions League groups automatically)
Third/fourth: Chelsea (qualify for Champions League groups automatically), Arsenal (in Champions League third qualifying round)
Europa League: Everton (5th), Aston Villa (6th), Fulham (7th)
Relegated: Newcastle United (18th), Middlesbrough (19th), West Bromwich Albion (20th)
FA Cup
Final: Chelsea 2-1 Everton
Carling Cup
Final: Manchester United 0-0 Tottenham Hotspur (after extra time)
Manchester United won 4-1 on penalties
The Championship
Champions: Wolverhampton Wanderers
Runners-up: Birmingham City
Playoff final: Burnley 1-0 Sheffield United
Relegated: Norwich City (22nd), Southampton (23rd), Charlton Athletic (24th)
League One
Champions: Leicester City
Runners-up: Peterborough United
Playoff final: Scunthorpe United 3-2 Millwall
Relegated: Northampton Town (21st), Crewe Alexandra (22nd), Cheltenham Town (23rd), Hereford United (24th)
League Two
Champions: Brentford
Also promoted: Exeter City (runners-up), Wycombe Wanderers (3rd)
Playoff final: Gillingham 1-0 Shrewsbury Town
Relegated: Chester City (23rd), Luton Town (24th)
FA Community Shield
Final: Manchester United 0-0 Portsmouth
Manchester United won 3-1 on penalties
Johnstone’s Paint Trophy
Final: Luton Town 3-2 Scunthorpe United (after extra time)
ENGLAND (Non-league)
Blue Square Premier
Champions: Burton Albion
Playoff final: Torquay United 2-0 Cambridge United
Relegated: Woking (21st), Northwich Victoria (22nd), Weymouth (23rd), Lewes (24th)
Blue Square North
Champions: Tamworth Town
Playoff final: Gateshead 1-0 AFC Telford
Relegated: Hyde United (20th), Burscough (21st), Hucknall Town (22nd)
Blue Square South
Champions: AFC Wimbledon
Playoff final: Hayes & Yeading 3-2 Hampton & Richmond
Relegated: Thurrock (20th), Bognor Regis Town (21st), Fisher Athletic (22nd)
FA Trophy
Final: Stevenage Borough 2-0 York City
FA Vase
Final: Whitley Bay 2-0 Glossop North End
Setanta Shield
Final: AFC Telford 0-0 Forest Green Rovers (after extra time)
AFC Telford won 3-0 on penalties
SCOTLAND
Scottish Premier League
Champions: Rangers (qualify for Champions League groups automatically)
Runners-up: Celtic (in Champions League third qualifying round)
Third/fourth: Hearts (3rd, in Europa League playoff round), Aberdeen (4th, in Europa League third qualifying round)
Also in Europe: Motherwell (Fair Play award, in Europa League first qualifying round)
Relegated: Inverness Caledonian Thistle
Scottish Division One
Champions: St Johnstone
Relegated: Airdrie United (9th, relegated via playoff), Clyde (10th)
Scottish Division Two
Champions: Raith Rovers
Runners-up: Ayr United (promoted via playoff)
Relegated: Queen’s Park (9th, relegated via playoff), Stranraer (10th)
Scottish Division Three
Champions: Dumbarton
Also promoted: Stenhousemuir (4th, promoted via playoff)
Scottish FA Cup
Final: Rangers 1-0 Falkirk
(Falkirk, as losing finalist, in Europa League second qualifying round)
Scottish League Cup
Final: Celtic 2-0 Rangers (after extra time)
Scottish Challenge Cup
Final: Airdrie United 2-2 Ross County (after extra time)
Airdrie United won 3-2 on penalties
WALES
Welsh Premier League
Champions: Rhyl (in Champions League second qualifying round)
Runners up: Llanelli (in Europa League first qualifying round)
Third: The New Saints (in Europa League first qualifying round)
Relegated: Caersws (17th), Caernarfon Town (18th)
Welsh FA Cup
Final: Bangor City 2-0 Aberystwyth
(Bangor City in Europa League second qualifying round)
Welsh League Cup
Final: The New Saints 2-0 Bangor City
NORTHERN IRELAND
IFA Premiership
Champions: Glentoran (in Champions League second qualifying round)
Runners up: Linfield (in Europa League first qualifying round)
Third: Crusaders
Fourth: Lisburn Distillery (in Europa League first qualifying round)
Relegated: Bangor
Irish FA Cup
Final: Crusaders 1-0 Cliftonville
(Crusaders in Europa League second qualifying round)
Irish League Cup
Final: Portadown 1-0 Newry City
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