Showing posts with label the apprentice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the apprentice. Show all posts
Friday, 24 February 2012
Cassetteboy strikes again...
Following his success with the Bloody Apprentice, and then his uncanny ability to derive humour from Nick Griffin's Question Time appearance, Cassetteboy has struck again with his latest creation.
This time, George Alagiah from the BBC News receives the mash-up treatment with the resultant script:
"OK, hello. The BBC has won a High Court for the right to broadcast child pornography. And there could be more bad news on the way..."
<titles>
"Good evening and welcome to the BBC News taken out of context. Our top story tonight: the battle over bonuses is far from over. Hundreds of city traders and bankers wearing balaclavas ambushed the Royal Bank of Scotland today.
"Business tycoons carrying sledgehammers smashed Britain's biggest bank, shoplifting their multi-million bonuses. Police have described the high-flying bosses as 'dangerous'.
"But, first tonight, the celebrity chef Antony Worrall Thompson has delivered a defiant speech at his local branch of Tesco. He promised he'd use an iron fist to deal with protests against his TV programmes.
"When it comes to alcohol, how much is too much? A court in Paris has said it's up to Scotland to decide. They say you should have 300 units every 45 minutes and stop off for a beer on the way home. That's already a guideline in Scotland.
"Our correspondent Jeremy Cook has been focusing on the market town of Hereford..."
Cook: "Hereford. Hereford. Hereford. Jeremy Cook, BBC News, Hereford."
Alagiah: "A reminder of tonight's main salacious gossip: there's been a shock response around the world to video footage appearing to show US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton urinating on Boris Johnson for an ITV programme. It was deplorable behaviour.
"The Labour leader Ed Miliband has told the BBC that his cock's remained untouched for thousands of years and maybe, just maybe, the longest on record for a British citizen. Thousands of women remain confused and worried.
"The government says it has no plans to get the economy moving again. But David Cameron said the Olympic games and the Queen's Diamond Jubilee would provide opportunities to showcase the country struggling to pay the bills.
"In the meantime, there are still plenty of people who want to kill off David Cameron but today there was a rare display of unity in the Commons as David Cameron and the Labour leader Ed Miliband both decided that they should be allowed to end their own lives. And Nick [Robinson] is in Westminster for us...
"What's David Cameron actually up to?"
Robinson: "The British Prime Minister is a posh, English queen. He has his own dick up his arse."
Alagiah: "Nick, thanks very much.
"Goodbye."
Sunday, 7 June 2009
The Apprentice - series 5, ep 12: Yasmina proves sweet for Sugar
Yasmina won the fifth series of The Apprentice, narrowly beating Kate in what Sir Alan Sugar described as his toughest decision on the programme yet.
Both candidates were praised for their abilities, which were again in evidence in the final task.
Sir Alan had asked Kate and Yasmina to create and launch a brand new box of chocolates. The finalists were also responsible for marketing, a television ad and a pitch to industry experts.
Several of the previous candidates returned to help out. Interestingly, Kate avoided choosing Philip with whom she is still in a relationship.
Instead, she chose Ben, Debra, Kimberley and Rocky while Yasmina's team was Howard, Lorraine, James and Philip.
At the ideas stage, Kate stole a march with a “sensual sharing” concept of his and hers chocolates suggested by Ben.
Old habits die hard for Ben, though, as he tried to force a ‘sex sells’ twist on the campaign which Kate rejected swiftly.
Instead, Kate’s box design fitted well with the concept with a tray for her, a tray for him and one to share.
In contrast to Kate’s quick start, Yasmina’s group was struggling to come up with a unique idea.
James’s suggestion of chocolates being bought by a woman for a man seemed to be their only option.
But when they pitched their thoughts to a group of men and then to industry insiders, they realised it was going to be quite a hard sell.
It was looking as if Yasmina might be headed to a half-baked disaster like ‘Pantsman’ (which Philip remarkably still tried to defend).
And so she focused on a brand name instead. She soon came up with ‘Cocoa Electric’ and decided her theme would be the creation of innovative flavours.
Their box would be a simple design which opened from both sides leaving a striking shocking-pink-coloured electric bolt in the middle.
With Yasmina finally on her way to a rounded idea, it was now Kate who was struggling, particularly in terms of a brand name.
Her choice, called ‘Intimate’, raised Nick Hewer’s eyebrows and Debra suggested that when put on a box, it made the product look like panty-liners.
Kate was wary of making last minute changes but Ben, who was on form during this task, scored with his suggestion, ‘Choc d’Amour’.
With both contestants happy about their idea and their box design, the next stage of the task was to move onto choosing their chocolates, directing their television ad and preparing for the pitch.
Kate had put Kimberley in charge of directing her TV advert but stepped in herself when she realised she was playing it far too safe.
Kate gave the ad a slightly kinkier twist – so maybe Ben was right after all about sex selling, though she rightly rebuffed his ‘69’ box design.
Meanwhile, Ben, Debra and Rocky set about choosing the chocolate flavours and hiring props for the launch presentation.
This left Kate with another major decision. The quality of the chocolates suggested by her team mates required her to put up her retail price to £13.
By contrast, Yasmina decided to use much cheaper flavourings, allowing her to set her price at a much more reasonable £6.
But her television ad had less of a narrative and one of the actors complained about the taste of his basil sweet.
On the other part of Yasmina’s team, Philip was allowed to express his creative side.
He worked with James and Lorraine to choreograph the dancers and draw up a poster for the launch presentation.
At first, Yasmina said she was looking forward to the pitch, describing it as being “more exciting than getting married”.
But, as time wore on, the nerves increased. She remained unsure of her presentational style during the rehearsal, suffering a last-minute panic.
Even Kate, usually so collected, feared stage fright against which she said no one is immune.
As ever, though, Kate performed confidently and her campaign was well accepted in the room.
The main concern from the industry reps was unsurprisingly about the price and her hope to launch her chocolates as a mass-market product.
Yasmina also had little to worry about in the end and gave a clear pitch. There was, however, scepticism in the room over her flavours and whether her chocolates would have staying power.
Back in the boardroom, Sir Alan repeated the one main concern against each product but said that otherwise the finalists had done brilliantly.
After thanking the other contestants for their help, Sir Alan also asked Kate and Yasmina to leave the boardroom while he discussed his decision with his advisors.
On their return, both hopefuls were given a final chance to convince Sir Alan to hire them.
Kate highlighted her consistency throughout the series, saying she had done well in the soap and cereal tasks in particular.
She said her main motivation for the job was she felt Sir Alan’s company was the best place to develop her career and her aspiration to be a director.
Yasmina also pointed to her task record and the fine achievement of three wins out of three as project manager.
She added that she now had a wider repertoire of skills – in terms of presentational style – than previously.
And she batted away Sir Alan’s continued concerns over her own business. He raised the spectre of her 20 employees becoming unemployed but she replied they would be in safe hands with her brother.
It was enough to convince Sir Alan as Yasmina upset the odds.
He said: “It is a tough decision. You are the best that I have ever had in the final in this boardroom – that, I promise you. My instincts are telling me – Yasmina, you’re hired.”
In a victorious black cab ride, Yasmina said: “I do wish Kate all the best – she’s such a nice girl – but I don’t feel guilty for winning.
“I worked so hard and I kept my head down and just kept going. I do think that I deserve to win.”
And so ends another series of The Apprentice. It has proved a brilliant watch since February and its popularity has held strong at just under 9m viewers throughout the series.
One of its strengths is the refusal to change the winning format which has been in place since its earliest airings.
Needless to say, I sincerely hope that the loss of Margaret Mountford for series six will not lead to a wider overhaul of changes for next year.
Both candidates were praised for their abilities, which were again in evidence in the final task.
Sir Alan had asked Kate and Yasmina to create and launch a brand new box of chocolates. The finalists were also responsible for marketing, a television ad and a pitch to industry experts.
Several of the previous candidates returned to help out. Interestingly, Kate avoided choosing Philip with whom she is still in a relationship.
Instead, she chose Ben, Debra, Kimberley and Rocky while Yasmina's team was Howard, Lorraine, James and Philip.
At the ideas stage, Kate stole a march with a “sensual sharing” concept of his and hers chocolates suggested by Ben.
Old habits die hard for Ben, though, as he tried to force a ‘sex sells’ twist on the campaign which Kate rejected swiftly.
Instead, Kate’s box design fitted well with the concept with a tray for her, a tray for him and one to share.
In contrast to Kate’s quick start, Yasmina’s group was struggling to come up with a unique idea.
James’s suggestion of chocolates being bought by a woman for a man seemed to be their only option.
But when they pitched their thoughts to a group of men and then to industry insiders, they realised it was going to be quite a hard sell.
It was looking as if Yasmina might be headed to a half-baked disaster like ‘Pantsman’ (which Philip remarkably still tried to defend).
And so she focused on a brand name instead. She soon came up with ‘Cocoa Electric’ and decided her theme would be the creation of innovative flavours.
Their box would be a simple design which opened from both sides leaving a striking shocking-pink-coloured electric bolt in the middle.
With Yasmina finally on her way to a rounded idea, it was now Kate who was struggling, particularly in terms of a brand name.
Her choice, called ‘Intimate’, raised Nick Hewer’s eyebrows and Debra suggested that when put on a box, it made the product look like panty-liners.
Kate was wary of making last minute changes but Ben, who was on form during this task, scored with his suggestion, ‘Choc d’Amour’.
With both contestants happy about their idea and their box design, the next stage of the task was to move onto choosing their chocolates, directing their television ad and preparing for the pitch.
Kate had put Kimberley in charge of directing her TV advert but stepped in herself when she realised she was playing it far too safe.
Kate gave the ad a slightly kinkier twist – so maybe Ben was right after all about sex selling, though she rightly rebuffed his ‘69’ box design.
Meanwhile, Ben, Debra and Rocky set about choosing the chocolate flavours and hiring props for the launch presentation.
This left Kate with another major decision. The quality of the chocolates suggested by her team mates required her to put up her retail price to £13.
By contrast, Yasmina decided to use much cheaper flavourings, allowing her to set her price at a much more reasonable £6.
But her television ad had less of a narrative and one of the actors complained about the taste of his basil sweet.
On the other part of Yasmina’s team, Philip was allowed to express his creative side.
He worked with James and Lorraine to choreograph the dancers and draw up a poster for the launch presentation.
At first, Yasmina said she was looking forward to the pitch, describing it as being “more exciting than getting married”.
But, as time wore on, the nerves increased. She remained unsure of her presentational style during the rehearsal, suffering a last-minute panic.
Even Kate, usually so collected, feared stage fright against which she said no one is immune.
As ever, though, Kate performed confidently and her campaign was well accepted in the room.
The main concern from the industry reps was unsurprisingly about the price and her hope to launch her chocolates as a mass-market product.
Yasmina also had little to worry about in the end and gave a clear pitch. There was, however, scepticism in the room over her flavours and whether her chocolates would have staying power.
Back in the boardroom, Sir Alan repeated the one main concern against each product but said that otherwise the finalists had done brilliantly.
After thanking the other contestants for their help, Sir Alan also asked Kate and Yasmina to leave the boardroom while he discussed his decision with his advisors.
On their return, both hopefuls were given a final chance to convince Sir Alan to hire them.
Kate highlighted her consistency throughout the series, saying she had done well in the soap and cereal tasks in particular.
She said her main motivation for the job was she felt Sir Alan’s company was the best place to develop her career and her aspiration to be a director.
Yasmina also pointed to her task record and the fine achievement of three wins out of three as project manager.
She added that she now had a wider repertoire of skills – in terms of presentational style – than previously.
And she batted away Sir Alan’s continued concerns over her own business. He raised the spectre of her 20 employees becoming unemployed but she replied they would be in safe hands with her brother.
It was enough to convince Sir Alan as Yasmina upset the odds.
He said: “It is a tough decision. You are the best that I have ever had in the final in this boardroom – that, I promise you. My instincts are telling me – Yasmina, you’re hired.”
In a victorious black cab ride, Yasmina said: “I do wish Kate all the best – she’s such a nice girl – but I don’t feel guilty for winning.
“I worked so hard and I kept my head down and just kept going. I do think that I deserve to win.”
And so ends another series of The Apprentice. It has proved a brilliant watch since February and its popularity has held strong at just under 9m viewers throughout the series.
One of its strengths is the refusal to change the winning format which has been in place since its earliest airings.
Needless to say, I sincerely hope that the loss of Margaret Mountford for series six will not lead to a wider overhaul of changes for next year.
Thursday, 4 June 2009
The Apprentice - series 5, ep 11: Kate and Yasmina in the final
Kate and Yasmina will contest the final of The Apprentice after James, Lorraine and Debra were fired at the gruelling interview stage.
In keeping with previous series, with this being the penultimate week, the five remaining candidates were grilled by some of Sir Alan's businesses associates.
Tough cookie Claude Litner was joined by Bordan Tkachuk, chief executive of Viglen Computers, Karren Brady, MD at Birmingham City FC, and city litigator Alan Watts.
Before the interviews, Kate and Yasmina said that they were good at them and were looking forward to it.
But Lorraine looked anything but confident as she arrived at Viglen, the interview venue.
It was James who was the first to be put under pressure, though, as Claude ripped into his CV for being full of jargon such as “rate-busting NGN”.
Kate found it easier going in her face-to-face with Bordan and returned down the stairs with a Cheshire cat grin.
Then Yasmina explained her restaurant background to Karren but had her figures torn apart by Claude.
She seemed surprised Claude had managed to get a hold of her business accounts even though it is a public document.
And finance manager Yasmina compounded her uncertainty by mixing up gross profit and net profit, and lost track of her turnover.
It was a haunting repeat of her poor mathematical performance when she and Paula decided to use sandalwood instead of cedarwood in the cosmetics task.
Not that she let the other candidates know of her grilling, unconvincingly suggesting Claude was a “nice man” (*See UPDATE).
Lorraine continued to remain nervous before facing Karren who asked her about her now notorious intuition, which was referred to as a “unique gift” on her CV.
Then Karren dropped a bombshell by uncovering that Lorraine had put the wrong start date of her most recent employer down.
Lorraine attempted a defence of this by suggesting it could be a misprint but this does not seem likely.
She had put May 07 down instead of May 08 – hardly something she would have struggled to remember correctly!
On returning to the seats in the foyer with the other candidates, she called her interview performance “horrendous”.
When the youngest of the hopefuls Debra, faced Claude, he suggested that she could not be relied upon as a team player.
But Debra launched a passionate defence of her style.
James could not do the same, however, as Claude struggled to take him seriously.
He revealed James had written on his CV that his role is “to put a leash on people who spunk money up the wall” and that he could bring “ignorance” to a job with Sir Alan.
Alan Watts became next to provoke a reaction from James by suggesting he was a little immature for a 31-year-old.
On his return, James described his experience as like being “turned inside out”.
Claude and Karren picked up on Kate’s statement on her CV that she would struggle to work in a female-dominated workplace.
Kate suggested that women are too emotional – that they moan and whinge too much.
But this is exactly what Kate did when Karren brought up the touchy subject of Philip distracting her in an earlier task.
Debra, meanwhile, had two horrific references read out to her by Alan Watts and Karren.
And then Alan highlighted the huge risk Yasmina had taken when persuading her mother to remortgage her house for the restaurant’s start-up costs.
In her interview with Karren, Lorraine spoke about some of the difficulties in her life – a divorce and a sickly child – and her failure to develop relationships with the other candidates.
But, other than her problem with a female workforce, Claude admitted he struggled to find any holes in Kate’s CV.
Kate denied she was “Little Miss Perfect” and, equally, denied she was too robotic and not passionate enough herself.
On the following day, Sir Alan’s associates spoke with him about the interviews in the boardroom.
The first candidate to be assessed was Lorraine.
Alan Watts thought she would drive Sir Alan mad with her incessant chatter while Karren and Bordan were sceptical of her “unique gift”.
Margaret Mountford defended Lorraine somewhat by recalling she had often been right during the series but Claude still doubted if she could cope.
Yasmina was next up for discussion.
Claude defended her entrepreneurial spirit but, once again, criticised her figures and her risky decision to get her mother to remortgage her home.
Sir Alan, Nick Hewer and Karren defended Yasmina on this latter point.
But Sir Alan remained concerned about why she wanted a position with him when she already has her own business.
James united opinion from the panel.
All of them considered he was too much of a joker and his final illusion about Sir Alan as Willy Wonka proved to be the death-knell for Karren.
She and Alan Watts also picked up that he was touchy when his immaturity was brought up and said he became completely fazed.
Margaret defended James’s team leader record but Nick suggested he had been extremely lucky to get that far.
Kate also drew similar comments from the boardroom but this time they were more positive.
All of the interviewers were impressed by Kate’s cool performance but worried if her unflappability made her too robotic.
Finally, Debra was bashed for the brutal references which she had provided herself and failed to convince Alan Watts or Bordan who considered her a risk.
But Claude and Karren were more impressed by her bolshie style and believe she can tone herself down as she is still young at 23.
After thanking his advisors, Sir Alan invited the final five back into the boardroom to defend their interview performances.
No one seemed keen to start but James eventually took the plunge and gave another unconvincing defence of his light-hearted style.
Debra repeated she had taken on the negative feedback she had received over her abrasive style.
And Kate once again defended herself against accusations of being robotic.
Moving onto Lorraine, Sir Alan agreed that she was strong for overcoming problems in her life.
But he remained worried about her failure to communicate well with her colleagues.
He also said he was still bemused by Yasmina’s desire to move away from her own business.
But there was a clear weak link in the final five and it was the last standing male candidate.
Sir Alan said: “James, I’ve taken on board what you’ve said and there’s nothing wrong in someone being light-hearted and making people laugh a lot. You’ve made me laugh a lot in this boardroom.
“I think that you’re a corporate man – that environment doesn’t exist in my place. So, with regret, you’re fired.”
James was probably the most popular candidate among his compatriots and tears were shed at his exit by the others.
Sir Alan asked the others to leave to regain their composure and, on their return, he revealed there were only going to be two finalists.
He again ran through each hopeful’s strengths and weaknesses but it was Lorraine’s character flaws which stuck with him.
Sir Alan said: “You’ve had altercations with people, after-the-horse-has-bolted statements. I feel I have seen that in you at least three times.
“I have to balance what I think is going to be suitable for my organisation. So, I’m going to have to say to you – you’re fired.”
And so there were three – Kate, Debra and Yasmina.
Kate was given early cause for celebration as he decided she was definitely going through to the final before deciding which of the others to fire.
It was a tough call for Sir Alan but, in the end, he felt he could not take the risk on Debra though he did ask her to keep in touch.
He said: “Debra, you should be proud of yourself.
“I’ve made my decision and I wish you the very, very best of luck and I know that you’re going to be successful in the future. Debra, you’re fired.”
So, an all-female final for the second time in the history of the show – there was also one in series two.
But it was never likely that James would prevent it.
Kate will start as the favourite but this has not always been the best position.
Highly-fancied Ruth Badger and Claire Young in previous series were both runners-up. The final on Sunday at 9pm will reveal if it happens again.
*UPDATE: the BBC has since admitted production company Talkback Thames used the wrong edit following Yasmina's interview with Claude. She had actually said, "Guys, that was just terrible - a really awful interview". She has accepted an apology.
In keeping with previous series, with this being the penultimate week, the five remaining candidates were grilled by some of Sir Alan's businesses associates.
Tough cookie Claude Litner was joined by Bordan Tkachuk, chief executive of Viglen Computers, Karren Brady, MD at Birmingham City FC, and city litigator Alan Watts.
Before the interviews, Kate and Yasmina said that they were good at them and were looking forward to it.
But Lorraine looked anything but confident as she arrived at Viglen, the interview venue.
It was James who was the first to be put under pressure, though, as Claude ripped into his CV for being full of jargon such as “rate-busting NGN”.
Kate found it easier going in her face-to-face with Bordan and returned down the stairs with a Cheshire cat grin.
Then Yasmina explained her restaurant background to Karren but had her figures torn apart by Claude.
She seemed surprised Claude had managed to get a hold of her business accounts even though it is a public document.
And finance manager Yasmina compounded her uncertainty by mixing up gross profit and net profit, and lost track of her turnover.
It was a haunting repeat of her poor mathematical performance when she and Paula decided to use sandalwood instead of cedarwood in the cosmetics task.
Not that she let the other candidates know of her grilling, unconvincingly suggesting Claude was a “nice man” (*See UPDATE).
Lorraine continued to remain nervous before facing Karren who asked her about her now notorious intuition, which was referred to as a “unique gift” on her CV.
Then Karren dropped a bombshell by uncovering that Lorraine had put the wrong start date of her most recent employer down.
Lorraine attempted a defence of this by suggesting it could be a misprint but this does not seem likely.
She had put May 07 down instead of May 08 – hardly something she would have struggled to remember correctly!
On returning to the seats in the foyer with the other candidates, she called her interview performance “horrendous”.
When the youngest of the hopefuls Debra, faced Claude, he suggested that she could not be relied upon as a team player.
But Debra launched a passionate defence of her style.
James could not do the same, however, as Claude struggled to take him seriously.
He revealed James had written on his CV that his role is “to put a leash on people who spunk money up the wall” and that he could bring “ignorance” to a job with Sir Alan.
Alan Watts became next to provoke a reaction from James by suggesting he was a little immature for a 31-year-old.
On his return, James described his experience as like being “turned inside out”.
Claude and Karren picked up on Kate’s statement on her CV that she would struggle to work in a female-dominated workplace.
Kate suggested that women are too emotional – that they moan and whinge too much.
But this is exactly what Kate did when Karren brought up the touchy subject of Philip distracting her in an earlier task.
Debra, meanwhile, had two horrific references read out to her by Alan Watts and Karren.
And then Alan highlighted the huge risk Yasmina had taken when persuading her mother to remortgage her house for the restaurant’s start-up costs.
In her interview with Karren, Lorraine spoke about some of the difficulties in her life – a divorce and a sickly child – and her failure to develop relationships with the other candidates.
But, other than her problem with a female workforce, Claude admitted he struggled to find any holes in Kate’s CV.
Kate denied she was “Little Miss Perfect” and, equally, denied she was too robotic and not passionate enough herself.
On the following day, Sir Alan’s associates spoke with him about the interviews in the boardroom.
The first candidate to be assessed was Lorraine.
Alan Watts thought she would drive Sir Alan mad with her incessant chatter while Karren and Bordan were sceptical of her “unique gift”.
Margaret Mountford defended Lorraine somewhat by recalling she had often been right during the series but Claude still doubted if she could cope.
Yasmina was next up for discussion.
Claude defended her entrepreneurial spirit but, once again, criticised her figures and her risky decision to get her mother to remortgage her home.
Sir Alan, Nick Hewer and Karren defended Yasmina on this latter point.
But Sir Alan remained concerned about why she wanted a position with him when she already has her own business.
James united opinion from the panel.
All of them considered he was too much of a joker and his final illusion about Sir Alan as Willy Wonka proved to be the death-knell for Karren.
She and Alan Watts also picked up that he was touchy when his immaturity was brought up and said he became completely fazed.
Margaret defended James’s team leader record but Nick suggested he had been extremely lucky to get that far.
Kate also drew similar comments from the boardroom but this time they were more positive.
All of the interviewers were impressed by Kate’s cool performance but worried if her unflappability made her too robotic.
Finally, Debra was bashed for the brutal references which she had provided herself and failed to convince Alan Watts or Bordan who considered her a risk.
But Claude and Karren were more impressed by her bolshie style and believe she can tone herself down as she is still young at 23.
After thanking his advisors, Sir Alan invited the final five back into the boardroom to defend their interview performances.
No one seemed keen to start but James eventually took the plunge and gave another unconvincing defence of his light-hearted style.
Debra repeated she had taken on the negative feedback she had received over her abrasive style.
And Kate once again defended herself against accusations of being robotic.
Moving onto Lorraine, Sir Alan agreed that she was strong for overcoming problems in her life.
But he remained worried about her failure to communicate well with her colleagues.
He also said he was still bemused by Yasmina’s desire to move away from her own business.
But there was a clear weak link in the final five and it was the last standing male candidate.
Sir Alan said: “James, I’ve taken on board what you’ve said and there’s nothing wrong in someone being light-hearted and making people laugh a lot. You’ve made me laugh a lot in this boardroom.
“I think that you’re a corporate man – that environment doesn’t exist in my place. So, with regret, you’re fired.”
James was probably the most popular candidate among his compatriots and tears were shed at his exit by the others.
Sir Alan asked the others to leave to regain their composure and, on their return, he revealed there were only going to be two finalists.
He again ran through each hopeful’s strengths and weaknesses but it was Lorraine’s character flaws which stuck with him.
Sir Alan said: “You’ve had altercations with people, after-the-horse-has-bolted statements. I feel I have seen that in you at least three times.
“I have to balance what I think is going to be suitable for my organisation. So, I’m going to have to say to you – you’re fired.”
And so there were three – Kate, Debra and Yasmina.
Kate was given early cause for celebration as he decided she was definitely going through to the final before deciding which of the others to fire.
It was a tough call for Sir Alan but, in the end, he felt he could not take the risk on Debra though he did ask her to keep in touch.
He said: “Debra, you should be proud of yourself.
“I’ve made my decision and I wish you the very, very best of luck and I know that you’re going to be successful in the future. Debra, you’re fired.”
So, an all-female final for the second time in the history of the show – there was also one in series two.
But it was never likely that James would prevent it.
Kate will start as the favourite but this has not always been the best position.
Highly-fancied Ruth Badger and Claire Young in previous series were both runners-up. The final on Sunday at 9pm will reveal if it happens again.
*UPDATE: the BBC has since admitted production company Talkback Thames used the wrong edit following Yasmina's interview with Claude. She had actually said, "Guys, that was just terrible - a really awful interview". She has accepted an apology.
Thursday, 28 May 2009
The Apprentice - series 5, ep 10: Howard's end
Howard fell agonisingly short of the interview week after Sir Alan fired him for his failure on the TV shopping task.
Ignite suffered a surprising loss having failed to sell their high-value products for as much money as Empire sold their cheaper stock.
As project manager for Ignite, Howard made an inauspicious selection of a pet craft kit (£16.99) and an infrared toy air guitar (£14.99) along with Lorraine.
But their companion Kate went for the high-end products, a chip fryer (£139.99) and some real leather metallic jackets (£149.99).
By contrast, Empire's highest-priced product, chosen by team leader Yasmina - working with James - was a leaf-collector called the Grabosaurus (£29.99).
Yasmina and James also chose a remote control car (£13.99). Debra, working alone, plumped for some hideous-looking polo-neck ponchos (£9.99) and hair clips (£17.99).
In the practice for the live television presentations, Lorraine for Ignite was not convincing at all while Kate also seemed to lose her nerve somewhat.
Nevertheless, and despite criticism by Lorraine, Kate was named as the solo presenter with Howard and Lorraine working together once again.
On Empire, Debra was named as the soloist based on Yasmina's belief that she works better alone, leaving Yasmina to work with James.
Yasmina and James were first to present, showcasing the products chosen by Debra who was in the director's chair.
Ignoring Debra's directions to announce the price of the remote control car, Yasmina and James then went completely off-topic in between presenting their two products.
Perhaps still distracted, Yasmina then gave the wrong price for their second item - the hair-clips - pricing them at £9.99 when they were £17.99.
This was corrected by James and the pair noticeably relaxed, particularly James who provided some quality comedy sales patter.
Team-mate Debra presented without any hitches.
But her items chosen by Yasmina/James - the polo-neck ponchos and the Grabosaurus leaf-collector - left Sir Alan wondering if the cautious approach of aiming for low-price products would work.
Sir Alan expected Ignite would do so much better with their high-value items - some hideous metallic-style leather jackets and the fryer, selected by Kate.
But, due to the rules, they were presented by Howard and Lorraine.
The pair did a fine job of showing off the items but failed to mention the product number, telephone number and website anywhere near enough.
Kate struggled unsurprisingly to present the pet craft kit, and admitted later it was "not the most exciting thing to demonstrate".
But she did better and loosened up to show off the infra-red air guitar in brilliantly entertaining fashion.
It was still not enough, however. Empire, with sales of £1541.88, beat Ignite who recorded £1376.73 despite their higher-priced items.
Empire's Debra, so often at odds with the other side of the boardroom desk, received high praise for her ability to present the shabby ponchos - selling over £900 personally.
Nick Hewer said: "She took to it like a duck to water. She was exceptional."
Her reward along with James and team leader Yasmina was a thrilling private jet aerobatics session - the loop-da-loop and kamikaze dives ensuring this was easily the best prize of the series.
But Ignite were back in the boardroom to face Sir Alan.
On the one hand, they had suffered from poor product selection (the pet craft kit and air guitar) by Howard and Lorraine.
And, on the other hand, they suffered from the poor presentation - again by Lorraine and Howard - of Kate's high-value products (the jackets and the fryer) which should have ensured victory.
Sir Alan informed the team of some damning stats. They sold less than 10% of what was expected in the period for the air guitar.
Worse again, they sold less than 5% of what was expected on the leather jackets.
Lorraine was criticised by Sir Alan for not following through her instincts after she favoured a lizard toy which was not selected.
Lorraine defended herself by stating this selection, although once again ignored, showed her "natural flair" for the vacancy.
Sir Alan also slammed Kate for her wooden presentation, accusing her of being "like a programmed robot" and he compared her solo figures to Debra's.
But it was team leader Howard who took the most stick in the boardroom.
He was then blamed by Sir Alan for not being willing to take the risk with Lorraine's novelty toy lizard and it was suggested he was risk-averse - no more than a "steady-eddie".
Even Nick Hewer bashed Howard, stating his actions suggested he was "not a brave warrior".
And so, in a decision which Sir Alan described as being "very tough but a sign of the times", he sacked nice-guy Howard and kept Kate and Lorraine.
He said: "All three of you have come a long way in this process but, as you all know, it has to come to an end for one of you today. Howard, you're fired."
In the cab, Howard was clearly disappointed but remained in his calm, philosophical self.
He said: "I'm gutted, really gutted. There is no denying that. I really wanted to go all the way through the process.
"But if Sir Alan thinks that I'm risk-averse then I will take on the feedback and maybe I need to be a bit more maverick.
Howard's departure leaves James as the only male candidate to make the interview stage, a point his female rivals were not slow to notice back at the penthouse.
He will be up against four women - Debra, Kate, Lorraine and Yasmina, the first time so many females have made the penultimate week.
Ignite suffered a surprising loss having failed to sell their high-value products for as much money as Empire sold their cheaper stock.
As project manager for Ignite, Howard made an inauspicious selection of a pet craft kit (£16.99) and an infrared toy air guitar (£14.99) along with Lorraine.
But their companion Kate went for the high-end products, a chip fryer (£139.99) and some real leather metallic jackets (£149.99).
By contrast, Empire's highest-priced product, chosen by team leader Yasmina - working with James - was a leaf-collector called the Grabosaurus (£29.99).
Yasmina and James also chose a remote control car (£13.99). Debra, working alone, plumped for some hideous-looking polo-neck ponchos (£9.99) and hair clips (£17.99).
In the practice for the live television presentations, Lorraine for Ignite was not convincing at all while Kate also seemed to lose her nerve somewhat.
Nevertheless, and despite criticism by Lorraine, Kate was named as the solo presenter with Howard and Lorraine working together once again.
On Empire, Debra was named as the soloist based on Yasmina's belief that she works better alone, leaving Yasmina to work with James.
Yasmina and James were first to present, showcasing the products chosen by Debra who was in the director's chair.
Ignoring Debra's directions to announce the price of the remote control car, Yasmina and James then went completely off-topic in between presenting their two products.
Perhaps still distracted, Yasmina then gave the wrong price for their second item - the hair-clips - pricing them at £9.99 when they were £17.99.
This was corrected by James and the pair noticeably relaxed, particularly James who provided some quality comedy sales patter.
Team-mate Debra presented without any hitches.
But her items chosen by Yasmina/James - the polo-neck ponchos and the Grabosaurus leaf-collector - left Sir Alan wondering if the cautious approach of aiming for low-price products would work.
Sir Alan expected Ignite would do so much better with their high-value items - some hideous metallic-style leather jackets and the fryer, selected by Kate.
But, due to the rules, they were presented by Howard and Lorraine.
The pair did a fine job of showing off the items but failed to mention the product number, telephone number and website anywhere near enough.
Kate struggled unsurprisingly to present the pet craft kit, and admitted later it was "not the most exciting thing to demonstrate".
But she did better and loosened up to show off the infra-red air guitar in brilliantly entertaining fashion.
It was still not enough, however. Empire, with sales of £1541.88, beat Ignite who recorded £1376.73 despite their higher-priced items.
Empire's Debra, so often at odds with the other side of the boardroom desk, received high praise for her ability to present the shabby ponchos - selling over £900 personally.
Nick Hewer said: "She took to it like a duck to water. She was exceptional."
Her reward along with James and team leader Yasmina was a thrilling private jet aerobatics session - the loop-da-loop and kamikaze dives ensuring this was easily the best prize of the series.
But Ignite were back in the boardroom to face Sir Alan.
On the one hand, they had suffered from poor product selection (the pet craft kit and air guitar) by Howard and Lorraine.
And, on the other hand, they suffered from the poor presentation - again by Lorraine and Howard - of Kate's high-value products (the jackets and the fryer) which should have ensured victory.
Sir Alan informed the team of some damning stats. They sold less than 10% of what was expected in the period for the air guitar.
Worse again, they sold less than 5% of what was expected on the leather jackets.
Lorraine was criticised by Sir Alan for not following through her instincts after she favoured a lizard toy which was not selected.
Lorraine defended herself by stating this selection, although once again ignored, showed her "natural flair" for the vacancy.
Sir Alan also slammed Kate for her wooden presentation, accusing her of being "like a programmed robot" and he compared her solo figures to Debra's.
But it was team leader Howard who took the most stick in the boardroom.
He was then blamed by Sir Alan for not being willing to take the risk with Lorraine's novelty toy lizard and it was suggested he was risk-averse - no more than a "steady-eddie".
Even Nick Hewer bashed Howard, stating his actions suggested he was "not a brave warrior".
And so, in a decision which Sir Alan described as being "very tough but a sign of the times", he sacked nice-guy Howard and kept Kate and Lorraine.
He said: "All three of you have come a long way in this process but, as you all know, it has to come to an end for one of you today. Howard, you're fired."
In the cab, Howard was clearly disappointed but remained in his calm, philosophical self.
He said: "I'm gutted, really gutted. There is no denying that. I really wanted to go all the way through the process.
"But if Sir Alan thinks that I'm risk-averse then I will take on the feedback and maybe I need to be a bit more maverick.
Howard's departure leaves James as the only male candidate to make the interview stage, a point his female rivals were not slow to notice back at the penthouse.
He will be up against four women - Debra, Kate, Lorraine and Yasmina, the first time so many females have made the penultimate week.
Wednesday, 27 May 2009
The Apprentice - series 5, ep 9: Brash Ben fired after failing at the Baby Show
Brash Ben became the latest candidate to be fired from this year's competition after failing to impress in the Baby Show task.
Errors over product selection cost Empire dear as they struggled to sell birthing pools and rocking horses to niche markets.
Sir Alan had laid on prime sites for the teams at the Baby Show at Earls' Court in west London.
And he named the two parents from the remaining candidates as project managers.
James was tasked with leading Ben, Debra and Yasmina for Empire against Lorraine in charge of Kate and Howard for Ignite in re-arranged teams.
But their first task was the choose the two products which they would need to sell the following day.
On Ignite, Lorraine, who had been to the Baby Show before, suggested they need to focus on a high-end product and an impulse purchase.
Meanwhile, on Empire, James and Ben clashed over the logistics of seeing each of the presentations.
To be fair to the teams, not many of the choices were particularly appealing.
Two of the pitches which they received were for babies' high-heel shoes and a cardboard cot.
The teams stayed clear of those but it was undoubtedly Ignite who did better with the rest.
Lorraine was highly impressed with the collapsable pushchair which looked ideal for parents who travel or have a busy lifestyle.
On her sub-team, Kate and Howard went for baby head-guards with Kate explaining they could play "on the guilt factor" of the parents.
Empire had rejected both of these products. James thought the pushchair was nothing special while Ben and Debra derided the head-guard as being xxxx.
Instead, Ben and Debra - in particular - was completely taken in by the prospect of selling rocking horses.
This was despite the obvious high-risk strategy in that they were priced between £1700 and £4000, and the owner admitted that his custom was often royalty.
Meanwhile, James and Yasmina chose the birthing pool even though the statistics showed only 2.2% of women have home-births, something which Lorraine had noticed.
But the exhibition centre, Igntie suffered some bad news even before the set-up.
A rival stall was selling the same the pushchair. Worse than that, it would later emerge that they were selling for £35 cheaper.
Lorraine was also having a right battle royale, still struggling comically to put up and collapse the pushchair despite a night of practice.
They even resorted to asking a punter how to do it.
Nick Hewer said: "This pushchair looks to me like the most complicated thing when, in fact, if done properly it is the simplest thing with a great selling point.
"She's making a complete horlicks of it."
Empire realised their main chance of victory was to sell a single rocking horse but the price tags on display deterred potential buyers.
Once the tags were removed, the horses received much more attention but punters continued to be put off once the prices were revealed.
As the day came to a close, Empire nearly stole victory when Debra almost sold a rocking horse to a collector.
But, unable to reduce their price below £1700, the collector walked away leaving Empire staring defeat in the face.
The results were not a surprise - Ignite had made £1600 on their pushchair and head-guards while Empire managed only £722 on the discounted birthing pool.
No rocking horses had been sold and so it was no surprise when James hauled Ben and Debra back in the boardroom with him.
Errors over product selection cost Empire dear as they struggled to sell birthing pools and rocking horses to niche markets.
Sir Alan had laid on prime sites for the teams at the Baby Show at Earls' Court in west London.
And he named the two parents from the remaining candidates as project managers.
James was tasked with leading Ben, Debra and Yasmina for Empire against Lorraine in charge of Kate and Howard for Ignite in re-arranged teams.
But their first task was the choose the two products which they would need to sell the following day.
On Ignite, Lorraine, who had been to the Baby Show before, suggested they need to focus on a high-end product and an impulse purchase.
Meanwhile, on Empire, James and Ben clashed over the logistics of seeing each of the presentations.
To be fair to the teams, not many of the choices were particularly appealing.
Two of the pitches which they received were for babies' high-heel shoes and a cardboard cot.
The teams stayed clear of those but it was undoubtedly Ignite who did better with the rest.
Lorraine was highly impressed with the collapsable pushchair which looked ideal for parents who travel or have a busy lifestyle.
On her sub-team, Kate and Howard went for baby head-guards with Kate explaining they could play "on the guilt factor" of the parents.
Empire had rejected both of these products. James thought the pushchair was nothing special while Ben and Debra derided the head-guard as being xxxx.
Instead, Ben and Debra - in particular - was completely taken in by the prospect of selling rocking horses.
This was despite the obvious high-risk strategy in that they were priced between £1700 and £4000, and the owner admitted that his custom was often royalty.
Meanwhile, James and Yasmina chose the birthing pool even though the statistics showed only 2.2% of women have home-births, something which Lorraine had noticed.
But the exhibition centre, Igntie suffered some bad news even before the set-up.
A rival stall was selling the same the pushchair. Worse than that, it would later emerge that they were selling for £35 cheaper.
Lorraine was also having a right battle royale, still struggling comically to put up and collapse the pushchair despite a night of practice.
They even resorted to asking a punter how to do it.
Nick Hewer said: "This pushchair looks to me like the most complicated thing when, in fact, if done properly it is the simplest thing with a great selling point.
"She's making a complete horlicks of it."
Empire realised their main chance of victory was to sell a single rocking horse but the price tags on display deterred potential buyers.
Once the tags were removed, the horses received much more attention but punters continued to be put off once the prices were revealed.
As the day came to a close, Empire nearly stole victory when Debra almost sold a rocking horse to a collector.
But, unable to reduce their price below £1700, the collector walked away leaving Empire staring defeat in the face.
The results were not a surprise - Ignite had made £1600 on their pushchair and head-guards while Empire managed only £722 on the discounted birthing pool.
No rocking horses had been sold and so it was no surprise when James hauled Ben and Debra back in the boardroom with him.
Wednesday, 13 May 2009
The Apprentice - series 5, ep 8: Mona sinks at the seaside
Mona became the latest candidate to get fired as Empire failed in their bid to rebrand Margate for the gay community.
Mona never really warmed to the idea and, in particular, found it difficult to work under project manager Debra in unchanged teams.
Debra had somewhat forced her way into the position in the first place, denying Howard the chance to lead for the first time since week one.
But Howard retained an important role and rejected Mona's original suggestion of aiming for children and families in the brainstorming session.
Instead, he strongly encouraged James's idea of targeting the gay market.
Ignite, led by Yasmina in her first project manager role since week two, came up with the more standard concept of attracting families to the faded seaside town in Kent.
The task set by Sir Alan required the teams to pitch their ideas to a set of brand experts and then to the people of Margate themselves.
They also needed to produce a poster campaign with a slogan and a leaflet for their pitches.
For Empire, Mona and James headed to the coast and spoke to residents over the likelihood of success in rebranding Margate as a gay hotspot.
But asking the public about their campaign was something with which Mona was clearly ill at ease, especially when she talked with a pre-op transsexual.
Meanwhile Howard and Debra held auditions to find two male models for their posters.
Over at Ignite, Yasmina and Kate were also casting for two people to appear as 'mum' and 'dad' in their posters as Lorraine and Ben developed photo ideas by walking around the town.
Ben came up with a cringeworthy catchphrase - 'shellebrate family fun' - before Lorraine restored some sense with her 'See Margate through children's eyes' tagline.
But Empire struggled to come up with a memorable catchphrase and it would be a lack of clarity which would cause their ultimate downfall.
Howard warned Debra that they had too much text on their poster but she ignored him, and their whole campaign proved far too subtle.
Meanwhile, Mona and James took photographs intending to show the gay scene which for the main were rather vague, except for a decent shot of two men holding hands on the beach.
Ignite's plan of a large beach shot was originally scuppered by thick fog.
But once the fret cleared, Ben made sure they got the shots he wanted by framing everything between his fingers.
Not that team leader Yasmina was pleased.
When the photographs came through, she worried that Ben's framing had left minimal blank space for their text to be put over the photograph.
And once Lorraine returned with Ben, she argued petulantly with Yasmina over the quality of their final posters and leaflet.
But at least Ignite only suffered from some minor tiffs.
Empire had left the leaflet until the last minute and, short of time, their rudimentary effort ended up being a mish-mash of blank space and random photographs.
So it was not a surprise when neither the branding experts nor the Margate residents were impressed and they both marked Empire just four out of 10.
Ignite's campaign was far less revolutionary and their poster and leaflet front cover were devoid of any pictures of children to fit with their slogan.
But, on the whole, it was executed better and received seven out of 10 from both pitches.
And so, Yasmina and her Ignite team were duly rewarded with a day out driving round the Lotus racetrack.
But for Debra, Mona, Howard and James, only the boardroom awaited.
Sir Alan accepted Empire had been brave in targeting the gay scene but accused them of "whispering the message".
He blasted Debra and Howard for producing confusing and wordy posters and leaflets, which he thought looked like something from "a bunch of loonies".
Sir Alan said: "I looked at those posters and they tell me nothing!"
Then he turned his attention Mona, who lives in Kent, accusing her of a lack of creativity.
And James, not for the first time, was labelled as being on the periphery.
It also became apparent that Debra had lied during the pitches about the embarrassing blank space on their leaflets by suggesting it would be used by local advertisers.
Sir Alan advised her that it would have been better if she had told the truth and, after her clash with Nick Hewer last week, it looked as if she might get fired.
But at least Debra recognised Howard's efforts during the task and brought back her Margate-based sub-team of James and Mona instead.
It turned out to be a wise choice.
Mona's lack of creativity and support in the task were highlighted once again by Sir Alan and this overshadowed James' lack of input and Debra's tendency not to listen.
Sir Alan said: "Mona, I do not see any creativity and I have to start thinking about where you would slot into my organisation.
"You spoke about the pier in Margate and it looks to me that you might be right at the end of the pier in this process.
"Mona - with regret, you're fired."
In the cab, Mona disagreed with Sir Alan's decision and said she believes she is a better candidate than both Debra and James.
She added: "I have always been a fighter so this is not the end of me. I'm not going to cry over it.
"I did my best and I'm proud of what I have done."
Mona became the first candidate in the series to be fired "with regret" and certainly had her highlights.
Most notably, she demonstrated textbook negotiation skills as recently as the previous week when selling expensive sleeping bags in Manchester.
But, unfortunately for her, Sir Alan later revealed he believed she was too much of a one-trick pony, leaving just seven candidates remaining.
Mona never really warmed to the idea and, in particular, found it difficult to work under project manager Debra in unchanged teams.
Debra had somewhat forced her way into the position in the first place, denying Howard the chance to lead for the first time since week one.
But Howard retained an important role and rejected Mona's original suggestion of aiming for children and families in the brainstorming session.
Instead, he strongly encouraged James's idea of targeting the gay market.
Ignite, led by Yasmina in her first project manager role since week two, came up with the more standard concept of attracting families to the faded seaside town in Kent.
The task set by Sir Alan required the teams to pitch their ideas to a set of brand experts and then to the people of Margate themselves.
They also needed to produce a poster campaign with a slogan and a leaflet for their pitches.
For Empire, Mona and James headed to the coast and spoke to residents over the likelihood of success in rebranding Margate as a gay hotspot.
But asking the public about their campaign was something with which Mona was clearly ill at ease, especially when she talked with a pre-op transsexual.
Meanwhile Howard and Debra held auditions to find two male models for their posters.
Over at Ignite, Yasmina and Kate were also casting for two people to appear as 'mum' and 'dad' in their posters as Lorraine and Ben developed photo ideas by walking around the town.
Ben came up with a cringeworthy catchphrase - 'shellebrate family fun' - before Lorraine restored some sense with her 'See Margate through children's eyes' tagline.
But Empire struggled to come up with a memorable catchphrase and it would be a lack of clarity which would cause their ultimate downfall.
Howard warned Debra that they had too much text on their poster but she ignored him, and their whole campaign proved far too subtle.
Meanwhile, Mona and James took photographs intending to show the gay scene which for the main were rather vague, except for a decent shot of two men holding hands on the beach.
Ignite's plan of a large beach shot was originally scuppered by thick fog.
But once the fret cleared, Ben made sure they got the shots he wanted by framing everything between his fingers.
Not that team leader Yasmina was pleased.
When the photographs came through, she worried that Ben's framing had left minimal blank space for their text to be put over the photograph.
And once Lorraine returned with Ben, she argued petulantly with Yasmina over the quality of their final posters and leaflet.
But at least Ignite only suffered from some minor tiffs.
Empire had left the leaflet until the last minute and, short of time, their rudimentary effort ended up being a mish-mash of blank space and random photographs.
So it was not a surprise when neither the branding experts nor the Margate residents were impressed and they both marked Empire just four out of 10.
Ignite's campaign was far less revolutionary and their poster and leaflet front cover were devoid of any pictures of children to fit with their slogan.
But, on the whole, it was executed better and received seven out of 10 from both pitches.
And so, Yasmina and her Ignite team were duly rewarded with a day out driving round the Lotus racetrack.
But for Debra, Mona, Howard and James, only the boardroom awaited.
Sir Alan accepted Empire had been brave in targeting the gay scene but accused them of "whispering the message".
He blasted Debra and Howard for producing confusing and wordy posters and leaflets, which he thought looked like something from "a bunch of loonies".
Sir Alan said: "I looked at those posters and they tell me nothing!"
Then he turned his attention Mona, who lives in Kent, accusing her of a lack of creativity.
And James, not for the first time, was labelled as being on the periphery.
It also became apparent that Debra had lied during the pitches about the embarrassing blank space on their leaflets by suggesting it would be used by local advertisers.
Sir Alan advised her that it would have been better if she had told the truth and, after her clash with Nick Hewer last week, it looked as if she might get fired.
But at least Debra recognised Howard's efforts during the task and brought back her Margate-based sub-team of James and Mona instead.
It turned out to be a wise choice.
Mona's lack of creativity and support in the task were highlighted once again by Sir Alan and this overshadowed James' lack of input and Debra's tendency not to listen.
Sir Alan said: "Mona, I do not see any creativity and I have to start thinking about where you would slot into my organisation.
"You spoke about the pier in Margate and it looks to me that you might be right at the end of the pier in this process.
"Mona - with regret, you're fired."
In the cab, Mona disagreed with Sir Alan's decision and said she believes she is a better candidate than both Debra and James.
She added: "I have always been a fighter so this is not the end of me. I'm not going to cry over it.
"I did my best and I'm proud of what I have done."
Mona became the first candidate in the series to be fired "with regret" and certainly had her highlights.
Most notably, she demonstrated textbook negotiation skills as recently as the previous week when selling expensive sleeping bags in Manchester.
But, unfortunately for her, Sir Alan later revealed he believed she was too much of a one-trick pony, leaving just seven candidates remaining.
Thursday, 7 May 2009
The Apprentice - series 5, ep 7: Cocky Philip finds it grim back up north
Cocky Philip's attitude proved to be his undoing as he was fired by Sir Alan having failed to sell anything in the latest task.
The candidate from County Durham once again clashed with Lorraine but she held the upper hand having made more sales in a woeful overall performance by Ignite.
Sir Alan had tricked the teams into thinking that they were going abroad by asking them to pack an overnight bag and meet him at the London Gateway.
Ben packed his swimming shorts, flip flops and sunglasses in anticipation of soaking up the sun while Philip drooled over the prospect of seeing some "bikini babes".
But London Gateway turned out to be a service station on the M1 motorway and instead the teams were heading north to Manchester and Liverpool.
Once there, they had to select two products from a range of 12 and then sell them to stores in the North West with two pitches already set up by Sir Alan on day one.
Sir Alan moved Mona and Howard to Empire with Ben and Yasmina going in the other direction.
Mona, who lost as project manager in week one, gained the approval of her new Empire team mates to lead this task.
And Lorraine stepped up for Ignite, having not been a project manager previously.
For once, Lorraine's instincts, which had previously served her so well, let her down.
She turned down the 'Lovers' Lead' - a two-handled dog lead - in favour of the 'Cat Playhouse', which were effectively cardboard boxes decorated as an airplane, tank and fire engine.
Ignite also put their faith in the 'POD', a bag to carry shopping on the back of a bicycle.
Empire decided to go with the aforementioned 'Lovers' Lead' and a 'Silk Bag', a full-body sleeping bag with separate sections for arms and legs.
As the teams arrived at the first of the pitches arranged by Sir Alan - a hardware store in Liverpool - both of them started to realise the limitations of their products.
Ignite's 'POD' was criticised by the store manager for unbalancing the bicycle - to which Yasmina oddly suggested two bags would need to be bought to even the weight distribution.
Lorraine and Yasmina were even more wide of the mark when they tried to get the hardware store to buy 5-6,000 'Cat Playhouses'.
At Empire, Debra and Howard struggled to convince the hardware store of the use of their 'Lovers' Lead'.
And the store manager was stunned by their attempt to suggest selling the sleeping bag for £89.
At the second pitch arranged by Sir Alan - a designer home store in Manchester - Empire continued to make little headway.
Their sleeping bag, in particular, failed to fit in with the store's values.
But, over at Ignite, matters improved a little with the designer home store considering an order for both the 'POD' and the 'Cat Playhouse'.
Not the other half of Ignite were doing so well with Philip, Kate and Ben managing to secure just one pitch for day two.
That pitch was at a cycle superstore in Chester but it met a dead end even though Philip went so far as to demonstrate how the 'POD' would work on a bike.
Ben looked as if he might have improved Ignite's chances by fixing up a meeting with the UK's biggest pet retailer.
But, having squabbled over who should lead the pitch, Lorraine and Yasmina still went in with totally unrealistic expectations and thought they could sell up to 20,000 'Cat Playhouses'.
The retailer ended up agreeing to 50 and no more.
But that was still more than the sub team of Philip, Kate and Ben - all three went all day without selling anything.
Sir Alan's aide Nick Hewer said: "Frankly, returning to London with no sales is a bit like the three of them popping into that cat plane and taking off to join the Battle of Britain.
"They haven't got a chance."
Empire did rather better at the same pet retailer, with Debra and Howard securing 200 orders for the 'Lovers' Lead'.
And the 'Silk Bag' sleeping bag was at least shown to be able to sell to camping stores.
It all added up to a clear victory for Empire who made £4501 from their orders while Ignite made just £1302, none of which had come from Philip, Kate or Ben.
And so, while Empire enjoyed a VIP ride in a Rolls Royce helicopter over London at sunset, Ignite were summoned back to see Sir Alan.
In the boardroom, Philip made the audacious claim that he, Kate and Ben were the three best salespeople on their team despite none of them managing to make a single sale.
By contrast, Lorraine, who made £807 in sales, and Yasmina, who made £495, sold at four of their five pitches.
Ben defended his record on the task, having managed to fix up the appointment with the pet retailer.
And Sir Alan criticised Lorraine and Yasmina for their wildly ambitious pitches.
It was Philip, though, who continued to act like a drama queen, criticising Lorraine for her over-reliance on instinct and revelling in the fact she had got it wrong this time.
Sir Alan made it clear he was not impressed and warned that up to three candidates could be fired as Lorraine brought Philip and Kate back into the boardroom.
He started by attacking Philip for putting on his resume that he is "arrogant, cocky, stubborn and a control-freak", and questioned if he needed people like that in his business.
But he also questioned if he needed Lorraine who had admitted herself that she was a "slow burner in the thought process".
Sir Alan also suggested that she had alienated the other team members from herself.
Lorraine defended herself based on her sales but struck a low blow when suggesting the growing relationship between Philip and Kate had affected their work.
This was a surprising, almost Machiavellian move, which appalled Kate in particular.
But it was Philip who turned the attention on himself even more when he attempted to defend his recent record.
Of course, he soon piped down when Nick Hewer reminded him of 'Pantsman'.
And Sir Alan played down Philip's victory in last week's task, saying he won by default after making a smaller loss than the opponents.
Sir Alan accused Kate of going from "hero to zero" but accepted that her previous performance had meant this was her first boardroom appearance.
But he had little such sympathy for destructive Philip.
Sir Alan said: "I'm clear in my mind that your bravado and attitude ain't going to fit in my organisation. You're fired."
Philip remained defiant in his own ability to the end and, audibly, called the decision "a joke" as he left the boardroom.
In the cab, he said: "I'm disappointed. I thought I had the potential to go a lot further than this but, unfortunately, I crossed paths with Lorraine and it was the end of me."
Philip repeated that he thought he was a better candidate than Lorraine although at least he accepted that he would be forever remembered for his Pantsman idea.
The candidate from County Durham once again clashed with Lorraine but she held the upper hand having made more sales in a woeful overall performance by Ignite.
Sir Alan had tricked the teams into thinking that they were going abroad by asking them to pack an overnight bag and meet him at the London Gateway.
Ben packed his swimming shorts, flip flops and sunglasses in anticipation of soaking up the sun while Philip drooled over the prospect of seeing some "bikini babes".
But London Gateway turned out to be a service station on the M1 motorway and instead the teams were heading north to Manchester and Liverpool.
Once there, they had to select two products from a range of 12 and then sell them to stores in the North West with two pitches already set up by Sir Alan on day one.
Sir Alan moved Mona and Howard to Empire with Ben and Yasmina going in the other direction.
Mona, who lost as project manager in week one, gained the approval of her new Empire team mates to lead this task.
And Lorraine stepped up for Ignite, having not been a project manager previously.
For once, Lorraine's instincts, which had previously served her so well, let her down.
She turned down the 'Lovers' Lead' - a two-handled dog lead - in favour of the 'Cat Playhouse', which were effectively cardboard boxes decorated as an airplane, tank and fire engine.
Ignite also put their faith in the 'POD', a bag to carry shopping on the back of a bicycle.
Empire decided to go with the aforementioned 'Lovers' Lead' and a 'Silk Bag', a full-body sleeping bag with separate sections for arms and legs.
As the teams arrived at the first of the pitches arranged by Sir Alan - a hardware store in Liverpool - both of them started to realise the limitations of their products.
Ignite's 'POD' was criticised by the store manager for unbalancing the bicycle - to which Yasmina oddly suggested two bags would need to be bought to even the weight distribution.
Lorraine and Yasmina were even more wide of the mark when they tried to get the hardware store to buy 5-6,000 'Cat Playhouses'.
At Empire, Debra and Howard struggled to convince the hardware store of the use of their 'Lovers' Lead'.
And the store manager was stunned by their attempt to suggest selling the sleeping bag for £89.
At the second pitch arranged by Sir Alan - a designer home store in Manchester - Empire continued to make little headway.
Their sleeping bag, in particular, failed to fit in with the store's values.
But, over at Ignite, matters improved a little with the designer home store considering an order for both the 'POD' and the 'Cat Playhouse'.
Not the other half of Ignite were doing so well with Philip, Kate and Ben managing to secure just one pitch for day two.
That pitch was at a cycle superstore in Chester but it met a dead end even though Philip went so far as to demonstrate how the 'POD' would work on a bike.
Ben looked as if he might have improved Ignite's chances by fixing up a meeting with the UK's biggest pet retailer.
But, having squabbled over who should lead the pitch, Lorraine and Yasmina still went in with totally unrealistic expectations and thought they could sell up to 20,000 'Cat Playhouses'.
The retailer ended up agreeing to 50 and no more.
But that was still more than the sub team of Philip, Kate and Ben - all three went all day without selling anything.
Sir Alan's aide Nick Hewer said: "Frankly, returning to London with no sales is a bit like the three of them popping into that cat plane and taking off to join the Battle of Britain.
"They haven't got a chance."
Empire did rather better at the same pet retailer, with Debra and Howard securing 200 orders for the 'Lovers' Lead'.
And the 'Silk Bag' sleeping bag was at least shown to be able to sell to camping stores.
It all added up to a clear victory for Empire who made £4501 from their orders while Ignite made just £1302, none of which had come from Philip, Kate or Ben.
And so, while Empire enjoyed a VIP ride in a Rolls Royce helicopter over London at sunset, Ignite were summoned back to see Sir Alan.
In the boardroom, Philip made the audacious claim that he, Kate and Ben were the three best salespeople on their team despite none of them managing to make a single sale.
By contrast, Lorraine, who made £807 in sales, and Yasmina, who made £495, sold at four of their five pitches.
Ben defended his record on the task, having managed to fix up the appointment with the pet retailer.
And Sir Alan criticised Lorraine and Yasmina for their wildly ambitious pitches.
It was Philip, though, who continued to act like a drama queen, criticising Lorraine for her over-reliance on instinct and revelling in the fact she had got it wrong this time.
Sir Alan made it clear he was not impressed and warned that up to three candidates could be fired as Lorraine brought Philip and Kate back into the boardroom.
He started by attacking Philip for putting on his resume that he is "arrogant, cocky, stubborn and a control-freak", and questioned if he needed people like that in his business.
But he also questioned if he needed Lorraine who had admitted herself that she was a "slow burner in the thought process".
Sir Alan also suggested that she had alienated the other team members from herself.
Lorraine defended herself based on her sales but struck a low blow when suggesting the growing relationship between Philip and Kate had affected their work.
This was a surprising, almost Machiavellian move, which appalled Kate in particular.
But it was Philip who turned the attention on himself even more when he attempted to defend his recent record.
Of course, he soon piped down when Nick Hewer reminded him of 'Pantsman'.
And Sir Alan played down Philip's victory in last week's task, saying he won by default after making a smaller loss than the opponents.
Sir Alan accused Kate of going from "hero to zero" but accepted that her previous performance had meant this was her first boardroom appearance.
But he had little such sympathy for destructive Philip.
Sir Alan said: "I'm clear in my mind that your bravado and attitude ain't going to fit in my organisation. You're fired."
Philip remained defiant in his own ability to the end and, audibly, called the decision "a joke" as he left the boardroom.
In the cab, he said: "I'm disappointed. I thought I had the potential to go a lot further than this but, unfortunately, I crossed paths with Lorraine and it was the end of me."
Philip repeated that he thought he was a better candidate than Lorraine although at least he accepted that he would be forever remembered for his Pantsman idea.
Thursday, 30 April 2009
The Apprentice - series 5, ep 6: Time runs out for Noorul
Noorul was fired at last by Sir Alan Sugar but only after the most turbulent boardroom session in the series following Empire's failure in the bric-a-brac task.
The 33-year-old science teacher Noorul had previously escaped attention by making a minimal contribution to tasks and avoiding being brought back into the boardroom.
Only last week, Philip made the point that while he had came up with the dreadful 'Pantsman' idea, Noorul had simply hidden in a superhero costume.
But this time, Noorul was not so lucky as he took his place in Empire under Ben's leadership.
Philip, meanwhile, was chosen as team leader of Ignite and was aiming to restore his reputation after the previous disaster.
After a meeting in an auction warehouse in Chiswick, the teams were tasked with offloading the same ten items of varying values with the aim of making a profit against the market price.
The purpose of the task was to see which candidates could make accurate valuations.
But neither of the team leaders were adept at spotting the luxury.
Philip seemed particularly clueless and, once again, he clashed with Lorraine.
This time, their argument was over the value of the Indian rug which Lorraine suggested was "the gem in the pack" but which Philip rejected as cheap tat.
Lorraine was right, though, and they should have realised this when they struggled to sell the item in a street market in what was described by Margaret Mountford as "one of the most stupid activities they have yet engaged in".
She said: "I'm speechless. That rug is the most expensive item that they have. They have completely ignored its true value apart from Lorraine."
But Ignite enjoyed a bit of luck by unexpectedly selling their human skeleton to a punter in the pub for £160.
And at least Philip had organised the task so that he, Mona and Lorraine had five items while Howard and Kate had the other five.
Over at Empire, cocksure team leader Ben was attempting to sell seven items with Noorul and Debra leaving Yasmina and James with just three.
Aware of the time constraints, Ben started to sell his items without taking valuations on them first, which meant their rug was eventually sold for just £55.
Noorul also sold the human skeleton, worth at least £150, for just £60 having set up a meeting... with an impoverished student.
Nick Hewer said: "They are treating the whole thing as a sort of flog off.
"I think it's about time to start getting a grip on this, otherwise you're going to start to panic and with just cause."
Indeed, the results for both teams were damning - they had both lost money!
Ignite made an overall loss of £34, making a profit of £96 on some items and a loss of £130 on the other two.
Empire made a "thumping" net loss of £169, making a profit of £78 on some of their items and a loss of £242 on others.
Winning team leader Philip allowed himself a smile as the results, and their reward of truffle tasting, was read out.
But this was jumped on immediately by Sir Alan.
He said: "As far as you're concerned, you have won but I don't know what you're smiling about - a loss is a loss.
"Philip, I really do hope you're signing on to what I'm trying to say because your mind is like concrete to me - thoroughly mixed but set in its ways."
But, as ever, Sir Alan saved most of his ire for the losers.
He blasted Ben for failing to take valuations and for not taking splitting the items evenly in his team.
And he accused Noorul of needing Ben's help to close the deal on the skeleton.
When Yasmina accused Debra of negativity, Debra claimed she had made more sales than anyone else on the team.
But Nick Hewer responded by suggesting she, too, had been helped by Ben in selling the books.
This provoked an angry reaction from Debra, which in turn irked Sir Alan.
Sir Alan said to her: "Excuse me. You find another way of expressing yourself. Stop talking to him [Nick] like he's a second class citizen.
"You talk to me and get your points over to me. Don't talk to him in that manner. Am I clear?"
Ben brought Noorul and Debra back to the boardroom but only after he had first selected James, with whom he has a long-standing rivalry, in place of Debra in a seemingly tactical move.
When James (and Sir Alan) reacted with bemusement to his selection, Ben changed his mind to Debra who made it clear she was "well up for" a boardroom confrontation.
As it happened, Debra escaped most of the crossfire, although she was told she was "nothing special" by Sir Alan.
The action was centred mainly on project manager Ben, who was accused by Sir Alan of looking like "a defeated man" and "a broken man".
And, later, Noorul got personal with Ben and suggested he was only on the show to secure magazine deals afterwards to which Ben responded that Noorul was "a desperate man".
But Sir Alan recognised that it was Noorul who effectively cost his team the task by underselling the bike and the skeleton.
It was for this, and the fact he had been so lucky in previous weeks, that Sir Alan fired him.
Sir Alan said: "It's been a difficult decision and I take the last six weeks into account.
"Noorul, I don't know what you have been doing here and I think you have escaped the radar. You're fired."
And once Noorul had walked out the room, Sir Alan added: "I got this feeling about Noorul. I did not see much from him in the past six weeks.
"All I can say is that whoever employs him better get a receipt."
But in the cab, Noorul said: "I certainly think Sir Alan fired the wrong person. Ben is such a hot head. He lied throughout.
"The fact that I spoke against him when all five of us were in there probably was what led to my downfall."
Meanwhile, Sir Alan had left survivors Debra and Ben in no doubt that they are both on unsure ground with Ben on a last warning.
The 33-year-old science teacher Noorul had previously escaped attention by making a minimal contribution to tasks and avoiding being brought back into the boardroom.
Only last week, Philip made the point that while he had came up with the dreadful 'Pantsman' idea, Noorul had simply hidden in a superhero costume.
But this time, Noorul was not so lucky as he took his place in Empire under Ben's leadership.
Philip, meanwhile, was chosen as team leader of Ignite and was aiming to restore his reputation after the previous disaster.
After a meeting in an auction warehouse in Chiswick, the teams were tasked with offloading the same ten items of varying values with the aim of making a profit against the market price.
The purpose of the task was to see which candidates could make accurate valuations.
But neither of the team leaders were adept at spotting the luxury.
Philip seemed particularly clueless and, once again, he clashed with Lorraine.
This time, their argument was over the value of the Indian rug which Lorraine suggested was "the gem in the pack" but which Philip rejected as cheap tat.
Lorraine was right, though, and they should have realised this when they struggled to sell the item in a street market in what was described by Margaret Mountford as "one of the most stupid activities they have yet engaged in".
She said: "I'm speechless. That rug is the most expensive item that they have. They have completely ignored its true value apart from Lorraine."
But Ignite enjoyed a bit of luck by unexpectedly selling their human skeleton to a punter in the pub for £160.
And at least Philip had organised the task so that he, Mona and Lorraine had five items while Howard and Kate had the other five.
Over at Empire, cocksure team leader Ben was attempting to sell seven items with Noorul and Debra leaving Yasmina and James with just three.
Aware of the time constraints, Ben started to sell his items without taking valuations on them first, which meant their rug was eventually sold for just £55.
Noorul also sold the human skeleton, worth at least £150, for just £60 having set up a meeting... with an impoverished student.
Nick Hewer said: "They are treating the whole thing as a sort of flog off.
"I think it's about time to start getting a grip on this, otherwise you're going to start to panic and with just cause."
Indeed, the results for both teams were damning - they had both lost money!
Ignite made an overall loss of £34, making a profit of £96 on some items and a loss of £130 on the other two.
Empire made a "thumping" net loss of £169, making a profit of £78 on some of their items and a loss of £242 on others.
Winning team leader Philip allowed himself a smile as the results, and their reward of truffle tasting, was read out.
But this was jumped on immediately by Sir Alan.
He said: "As far as you're concerned, you have won but I don't know what you're smiling about - a loss is a loss.
"Philip, I really do hope you're signing on to what I'm trying to say because your mind is like concrete to me - thoroughly mixed but set in its ways."
But, as ever, Sir Alan saved most of his ire for the losers.
He blasted Ben for failing to take valuations and for not taking splitting the items evenly in his team.
And he accused Noorul of needing Ben's help to close the deal on the skeleton.
When Yasmina accused Debra of negativity, Debra claimed she had made more sales than anyone else on the team.
But Nick Hewer responded by suggesting she, too, had been helped by Ben in selling the books.
This provoked an angry reaction from Debra, which in turn irked Sir Alan.
Sir Alan said to her: "Excuse me. You find another way of expressing yourself. Stop talking to him [Nick] like he's a second class citizen.
"You talk to me and get your points over to me. Don't talk to him in that manner. Am I clear?"
Ben brought Noorul and Debra back to the boardroom but only after he had first selected James, with whom he has a long-standing rivalry, in place of Debra in a seemingly tactical move.
When James (and Sir Alan) reacted with bemusement to his selection, Ben changed his mind to Debra who made it clear she was "well up for" a boardroom confrontation.
As it happened, Debra escaped most of the crossfire, although she was told she was "nothing special" by Sir Alan.
The action was centred mainly on project manager Ben, who was accused by Sir Alan of looking like "a defeated man" and "a broken man".
And, later, Noorul got personal with Ben and suggested he was only on the show to secure magazine deals afterwards to which Ben responded that Noorul was "a desperate man".
But Sir Alan recognised that it was Noorul who effectively cost his team the task by underselling the bike and the skeleton.
It was for this, and the fact he had been so lucky in previous weeks, that Sir Alan fired him.
Sir Alan said: "It's been a difficult decision and I take the last six weeks into account.
"Noorul, I don't know what you have been doing here and I think you have escaped the radar. You're fired."
And once Noorul had walked out the room, Sir Alan added: "I got this feeling about Noorul. I did not see much from him in the past six weeks.
"All I can say is that whoever employs him better get a receipt."
But in the cab, Noorul said: "I certainly think Sir Alan fired the wrong person. Ben is such a hot head. He lied throughout.
"The fact that I spoke against him when all five of us were in there probably was what led to my downfall."
Meanwhile, Sir Alan had left survivors Debra and Ben in no doubt that they are both on unsure ground with Ben on a last warning.
Thursday, 23 April 2009
The Apprentice - series 5, ep 5: Kimberly fired for pants idea
Ignite team leader Kimberly paid the ultimate price for team-mate Philip's bizarre 'Pantsman' idea in an advertising task for breakfast cereal.
The task - to create a new brand identity for a healthy breakfast cereal - should have been ideal for marketing consultant Kimberly.
But from early on, Philip forced his pants concept on the rest of the team, which had remained unchanged from the last task.
Despite Lorraine's protestations, Ignite backed what was an obvious loser and the further the idea evolved, the sillier it got.
Philip continued to spearhead the effort. He branded the cereal as 'Wake Up Call' and invented a character, Pantsman.
Pantsman would point out that only superheroes are allowed to wear their pants outside their other clothing, and that eating Wake Up Call could prevent people making that mistake.
Lorraine remained unsure but this caused Philip to throw one of his now notorious tantrums and he accused her of being overly negative.
It took Howard to calm the situation but the arguments further undermined Ignite's efforts.
The lost time forced them to rely on the designer to produce their cereal box based on Kimberly's incredibly vague suggestions over the telephone.
Unsurprisingly, the finished product was a let-down with only the front panel of the box showing any design.
Empire, led by Kate, displayed the most impressive team performance of the series so far.
Unlike Ignite's mess, Empire's idea was clear and their whole approach seemed logical.
James came up with the concept of 'Captain Squak', a parrot dressed as a pirate, who would be used to market their cereal, branded as 'Treasure Flakes'.
Even the jingle for their advert was a relevant sea-shanty - in sharp contrast to Philip's horridly out-of-tune wailing for Ignite.
Indeed the only thing Empire were particularly criticised for was the execution of their advert as they threatened to over-complicate matters.
But, while Ignite's execution was seen to be better, the advert did not appeal to their child actors and it showed up the project's flaws clearly.
Sir Alan's aide Nick Hewer said: "Ignite has come up with a very strange, very bizarre theme involving Pantsman.
"Incidentally, the children don't think it is at all funny. But those involved in the production think it's hilarious"
In the boardroom, Sir Alan and his other aide Margaret Mountford praised Empire for their team-work.
Margaret said: "I think they worked very well as a team. It really was a good performance."
Their reward was a yoga and laughter therapy session, which was almost as odd as Ignite's idea.
But, even before the result had been confirmed, sparks were flying in the Ignite team.
Lorraine accused Kimberly of giving her "continuous mixed messages" while Sir Alan forced Philip to defend his invention of Pantsman, which he said looked more in place "in the middle of a Harry Enfield show".
And it was clear that the whole project had flabbergasted Sir Alan.
He said: "This is totally garbage. Absolutely garbage.
"How you can honestly believe that you could have an advertising campaign based around pants is beyond my comprehension!"
Kimberly brought back task troublemakers Philip and Lorraine back to the boardroom, allowing Howard, Mona and Noorul (again!) to escape.
Philip showed his disgust at being brought back while quieter members remained under the radar, even to the point of suggesting Kimberly should go for that decision.
In his summary, Sir Alan showed he had little time for Philip's cocksure attitude and compared his forceful nature to a bulldozer.
He also criticised Lorraine for her argumentative attitude but it became obvious that he had reserved his firing for Kimberly.
He said: "You remind me of the final scene from the Wizard Of Oz.
"You look very impressive but, in my opinion, behind the curtain there is nothing there. You're fired."
Unsurprisingly, Kimberly - who styled herself as a "rough, tough creme puff from New York" before the series - disagreed.
She said: "I think that Sir Alan definitely fired the wrong person today and he will see, he will see.
"If Sir Alan does not want me to be his apprentice, I am upset about it but there's nothing I can do about it.
"I'll find something else to do and I'll make the best of that."
With ten candidates left, there is still plenty of work for Sir Alan to do if he wants to find his "diamond in the rough".
And though some satisfaction could finally be had after a respectable performance from one of the teams, it was equally frustrating that some of the lurkers have stayed off the radar again.
The task - to create a new brand identity for a healthy breakfast cereal - should have been ideal for marketing consultant Kimberly.
But from early on, Philip forced his pants concept on the rest of the team, which had remained unchanged from the last task.
Despite Lorraine's protestations, Ignite backed what was an obvious loser and the further the idea evolved, the sillier it got.
Philip continued to spearhead the effort. He branded the cereal as 'Wake Up Call' and invented a character, Pantsman.
Pantsman would point out that only superheroes are allowed to wear their pants outside their other clothing, and that eating Wake Up Call could prevent people making that mistake.
Lorraine remained unsure but this caused Philip to throw one of his now notorious tantrums and he accused her of being overly negative.
It took Howard to calm the situation but the arguments further undermined Ignite's efforts.
The lost time forced them to rely on the designer to produce their cereal box based on Kimberly's incredibly vague suggestions over the telephone.
Unsurprisingly, the finished product was a let-down with only the front panel of the box showing any design.
Empire, led by Kate, displayed the most impressive team performance of the series so far.
Unlike Ignite's mess, Empire's idea was clear and their whole approach seemed logical.
James came up with the concept of 'Captain Squak', a parrot dressed as a pirate, who would be used to market their cereal, branded as 'Treasure Flakes'.
Even the jingle for their advert was a relevant sea-shanty - in sharp contrast to Philip's horridly out-of-tune wailing for Ignite.
Indeed the only thing Empire were particularly criticised for was the execution of their advert as they threatened to over-complicate matters.
But, while Ignite's execution was seen to be better, the advert did not appeal to their child actors and it showed up the project's flaws clearly.
Sir Alan's aide Nick Hewer said: "Ignite has come up with a very strange, very bizarre theme involving Pantsman.
"Incidentally, the children don't think it is at all funny. But those involved in the production think it's hilarious"
In the boardroom, Sir Alan and his other aide Margaret Mountford praised Empire for their team-work.
Margaret said: "I think they worked very well as a team. It really was a good performance."
Their reward was a yoga and laughter therapy session, which was almost as odd as Ignite's idea.
But, even before the result had been confirmed, sparks were flying in the Ignite team.
Lorraine accused Kimberly of giving her "continuous mixed messages" while Sir Alan forced Philip to defend his invention of Pantsman, which he said looked more in place "in the middle of a Harry Enfield show".
And it was clear that the whole project had flabbergasted Sir Alan.
He said: "This is totally garbage. Absolutely garbage.
"How you can honestly believe that you could have an advertising campaign based around pants is beyond my comprehension!"
Kimberly brought back task troublemakers Philip and Lorraine back to the boardroom, allowing Howard, Mona and Noorul (again!) to escape.
Philip showed his disgust at being brought back while quieter members remained under the radar, even to the point of suggesting Kimberly should go for that decision.
In his summary, Sir Alan showed he had little time for Philip's cocksure attitude and compared his forceful nature to a bulldozer.
He also criticised Lorraine for her argumentative attitude but it became obvious that he had reserved his firing for Kimberly.
He said: "You remind me of the final scene from the Wizard Of Oz.
"You look very impressive but, in my opinion, behind the curtain there is nothing there. You're fired."
Unsurprisingly, Kimberly - who styled herself as a "rough, tough creme puff from New York" before the series - disagreed.
She said: "I think that Sir Alan definitely fired the wrong person today and he will see, he will see.
"If Sir Alan does not want me to be his apprentice, I am upset about it but there's nothing I can do about it.
"I'll find something else to do and I'll make the best of that."
With ten candidates left, there is still plenty of work for Sir Alan to do if he wants to find his "diamond in the rough".
And though some satisfaction could finally be had after a respectable performance from one of the teams, it was equally frustrating that some of the lurkers have stayed off the radar again.
Thursday, 16 April 2009
The Apprentice - series 5, ep 4: Loss-making Paula in a lather over costs
Paula was fired for a massive mistake over her costs as Empire made a second loss in the series.
But Ignite's win was thoroughly unconvincing as all of the candidates still struggle to shine.
For the first time, Sir Alan named the team leaders himself. Noorul was appointed to Ignite and Paula to Empire.
He shuffled the teams again so that Paula, Yasmina and Debra worked with Ben, James and Kate in Empire.
Howard and Kimberly moved across to work with Noorul, Lorraine, Mona and Philip as Ignite.
Requested to meet Sir Alan at Kew Gardens, both teams were asked to create and produce an original natural body-care product.
They would then need to sell it on the streets of London.
Not for first time in the series, both teams had pretty much the same idea and produced soap bars with Ignite also selling bubblebath.
Noorul was quiet as team leader in the ideas stage of choosing their natural product.
After much deliberation, they eventually chose honey for their soap, which they branded as “Honey I’m Home”.
Ignite were also confused by how much honey which they would actually need and later by the lack of a batch number.
And Philip got particularly upset by the batch number issue, proceeding to act like a spoilt teenager (or “a dickhead”, according to Lorraine) for much of the rest of the show.
Sir Alan’s aide Margaret Mountford said: “I think Noorul has been a very poor manager of this team. They have been in a muddle right from the very outset.
“If it was left to Noorul, they would not have done anything.”
But none of these mistakes was as bad as the one made by the Empire team.
HR manager Paula had delegated responsibility for costing to Ben and Yasmina but she stayed with them in the factory as the others set out for their natural element, seaweed, for their product “Rockpoole”.
Indeed, while Ben took a backseat by working on the production side, Paula was very much involved in the costing side with Yasmina.
But between the two of them, they confused cedarwood oil for the much more expensive sandalwood oil.
And they compounded their error by misreading the formula by buying in 450g of it, as Sir Alan’s aide Nick Hewer helpfully pointed out a little later.
Over at Ignite, though, there were still problems.
They struggled throughout selling their less quality product for £5 a set at Camden Lock and on Carnaby Street. Noorul, in particular, failed to sell at all.
Then, after deciding to leave Carnaby Street, he got lost in trying to find Bond Street underground station which had only just been vacated by Empire because of numerous turn-downs by busy commuters.
Empire had also chosen an inauspicious selling point – next to a hotdog van at Portobello Market.
But the Notting Hill locals were not put off by their higher prices. Then, late in the day, they made a deal with a vendor and sold their remaining stock for £400.
It was a case of being too little too late, though, after their costing disaster – and the show produced yet another clear result.
Empire made £1073.20 but spent £1141.24 for a loss of £68.04 while Ignite made £900.85 and spent £406.88 to make a profit of £493.97.
Ignite were rewarded by attending a sushi and Saki evening at a top restaurant but Sir Alan criticised the low quality of their product and Howard later admitted that it had been a “frustrating win”.
Empire, meanwhile, were blasted for failing to heed Sir Alan’s warnings over cost.
He said: “I have been banging on for the last four weeks about costs. What the hell’s gone wrong?!”
Team leader Paula brought her costing partners in crime Ben and Yasmina back into the boardroom.
It was Ben’s second successive boardroom appearance and his third loss in the opening four weeks.
Sir Alan accused him of avoiding the work of being involved in the costing despite him being allocated that part of the task.
But he also blasted Paula’s excuse as an HR manager for delegating the task as “feeble”.
Yasmina, who was implicated alongside Paula for the oil mix-up, escaped most of the crossfire by loading the responsibility on the team leader.
And Ben, who promised to “rip [Paula] to shreds” in the boardroom, fought his corner in typically pugnacious style.
He said to Paula: “You did not just get it a little bit wrong. You got it very, very wrong.”
After deciding he wants to see Yasmina as a project manager again, Sir Alan agreed with Ben.
Sir Alan said: “I have decided that on balance, Paula, you were responsible for the fatal mistake. So, Paula, you’re fired.”
In the black cab, Paula said: “I just feel disappointed that I have gone so early in the competition.
“It was because of a mistake and everyone makes mistakes so there is absolutely no shame in that.”
Ben, even after his reprieve, still tried to talk himself into trouble, but – fortunately for him – Sir Alan resisted to fire for the second time.
But Ignite's win was thoroughly unconvincing as all of the candidates still struggle to shine.
For the first time, Sir Alan named the team leaders himself. Noorul was appointed to Ignite and Paula to Empire.
He shuffled the teams again so that Paula, Yasmina and Debra worked with Ben, James and Kate in Empire.
Howard and Kimberly moved across to work with Noorul, Lorraine, Mona and Philip as Ignite.
Requested to meet Sir Alan at Kew Gardens, both teams were asked to create and produce an original natural body-care product.
They would then need to sell it on the streets of London.
Not for first time in the series, both teams had pretty much the same idea and produced soap bars with Ignite also selling bubblebath.
Noorul was quiet as team leader in the ideas stage of choosing their natural product.
After much deliberation, they eventually chose honey for their soap, which they branded as “Honey I’m Home”.
Ignite were also confused by how much honey which they would actually need and later by the lack of a batch number.
And Philip got particularly upset by the batch number issue, proceeding to act like a spoilt teenager (or “a dickhead”, according to Lorraine) for much of the rest of the show.
Sir Alan’s aide Margaret Mountford said: “I think Noorul has been a very poor manager of this team. They have been in a muddle right from the very outset.
“If it was left to Noorul, they would not have done anything.”
But none of these mistakes was as bad as the one made by the Empire team.
HR manager Paula had delegated responsibility for costing to Ben and Yasmina but she stayed with them in the factory as the others set out for their natural element, seaweed, for their product “Rockpoole”.
Indeed, while Ben took a backseat by working on the production side, Paula was very much involved in the costing side with Yasmina.
But between the two of them, they confused cedarwood oil for the much more expensive sandalwood oil.
And they compounded their error by misreading the formula by buying in 450g of it, as Sir Alan’s aide Nick Hewer helpfully pointed out a little later.
Over at Ignite, though, there were still problems.
They struggled throughout selling their less quality product for £5 a set at Camden Lock and on Carnaby Street. Noorul, in particular, failed to sell at all.
Then, after deciding to leave Carnaby Street, he got lost in trying to find Bond Street underground station which had only just been vacated by Empire because of numerous turn-downs by busy commuters.
Empire had also chosen an inauspicious selling point – next to a hotdog van at Portobello Market.
But the Notting Hill locals were not put off by their higher prices. Then, late in the day, they made a deal with a vendor and sold their remaining stock for £400.
It was a case of being too little too late, though, after their costing disaster – and the show produced yet another clear result.
Empire made £1073.20 but spent £1141.24 for a loss of £68.04 while Ignite made £900.85 and spent £406.88 to make a profit of £493.97.
Ignite were rewarded by attending a sushi and Saki evening at a top restaurant but Sir Alan criticised the low quality of their product and Howard later admitted that it had been a “frustrating win”.
Empire, meanwhile, were blasted for failing to heed Sir Alan’s warnings over cost.
He said: “I have been banging on for the last four weeks about costs. What the hell’s gone wrong?!”
Team leader Paula brought her costing partners in crime Ben and Yasmina back into the boardroom.
It was Ben’s second successive boardroom appearance and his third loss in the opening four weeks.
Sir Alan accused him of avoiding the work of being involved in the costing despite him being allocated that part of the task.
But he also blasted Paula’s excuse as an HR manager for delegating the task as “feeble”.
Yasmina, who was implicated alongside Paula for the oil mix-up, escaped most of the crossfire by loading the responsibility on the team leader.
And Ben, who promised to “rip [Paula] to shreds” in the boardroom, fought his corner in typically pugnacious style.
He said to Paula: “You did not just get it a little bit wrong. You got it very, very wrong.”
After deciding he wants to see Yasmina as a project manager again, Sir Alan agreed with Ben.
Sir Alan said: “I have decided that on balance, Paula, you were responsible for the fatal mistake. So, Paula, you’re fired.”
In the black cab, Paula said: “I just feel disappointed that I have gone so early in the competition.
“It was because of a mistake and everyone makes mistakes so there is absolutely no shame in that.”
Ben, even after his reprieve, still tried to talk himself into trouble, but – fortunately for him – Sir Alan resisted to fire for the second time.
Wednesday, 8 April 2009
The Apprentice - series 5, ep 3: Maj fails the fitness test
Quiet man Maj became the third Apprentice candidate to be fired as Ignite enjoyed a clear victory over Empire in rearranged teams.
Before the task began, Kim and Kate moved from Ignite to the formerly all-boys’ team Empire with Noorul and Phil moving the other way.
For the third task, Sir Alan asked the teams to invent a piece of portable home fitness equipment and pitch it to three retailers.
The team who took the most orders would be declared as the winners.
Empire, led by James who narrowly escaped being fired last week, made the better start.
They quickly came up with a product aimed at exercising various different muscles but faltered on choosing its name - even considering The Bingo Buster and The Wing Worker.
Ignite, managed by abrasive team leader Debra, were lost in a whirl of indecision until Philip came up with a rival to the Swiss Ball at the last minute.
Empire finally came to their senses, dropped the daft names and branded it as the Home Multi-Toner.
But it was a brand as bland as the product’s appearance.
Unsurprisingly, they struggled to pitch their black box of tricks to the three retailers – Powerhouse, John Lewis and Totally Fitness – with the latter also criticising it for effectively being a cheap multi-gym.
Meanwhile, Ignite leader Debra’s main worry, even as they headed in a taxi to their first pitch, was the ability of Lorraine to sell their product.
But, after an uncertain start, Lorraine improved and it was Yasmina who nearly made a major mistake during the John Lewis pitch.
The result was a clear win for Ignite, however. Indeed, it was one of the clearest in Apprentice history.
They still received 10,000 orders from John Lewis to put alongside their 80 from Powerhouse and 100 from Totally Fitness.
Empire received only 500 orders in total, all of them from John Lewis, and Sir Alan was even more scathing than usual in his attack on the losers.
He shouted: “You totally missed your target audience. You totally missed what the market wants.
“You came up with some lump of wood and you're sitting here wondering why you didn't get any orders.
"I know why you didn't get any orders! The whole thing sucks!"
As Ignite enjoyed a private recital from Katherine Jenkins, James found himself fighting for his Apprentice existence for the second successive week.
He brought Ben and Maj back into the boardroom and criticised the appearance of his own team’s product after the changes made to it by these colleagues.
Sir Alan suggested James was not heavily enough involved in the task while aide Margaret Mountford that Empire had lost focus on their target market.
James, who seemed constantly on the verge of tears, remained on dodgy ground throughout the boardroom confrontation.
And this was even more so the case after Ben accused him of making a lot of noise for little end product.
Ben successfully argued that he was the only team member to come up with an idea and was absolved by Sir Alan.
But, in an unexpected twist, Margaret defended James’s management style. She told Sir Alan that it was nothing like his occasionally loutish behaviour in the boardroom.
Suddenly the attention turned to Maj for his laidback attitude.
And he reinforced the perception by struggling to put up a defence, admitting later that he was unprepared for being under attack.
Even in the black cab after his firing, Maj only said: “I feel as if Alan Sugar didn’t get to see the best of me.”
Back in the boardroom, Sir Alan explained: “My instincts are that I can’t really have someone that is perceived not to contribute and you may not agree with this – but Maj, you’re fired.”
Sir Alan’s three firings so far have all suggested he has been getting rid of some ‘dead wood’ before the main competition begins.
And Sir Alan left James in no doubt as to his uncertain position after his second narrow escape.
Before the task began, Kim and Kate moved from Ignite to the formerly all-boys’ team Empire with Noorul and Phil moving the other way.
For the third task, Sir Alan asked the teams to invent a piece of portable home fitness equipment and pitch it to three retailers.
The team who took the most orders would be declared as the winners.
Empire, led by James who narrowly escaped being fired last week, made the better start.
They quickly came up with a product aimed at exercising various different muscles but faltered on choosing its name - even considering The Bingo Buster and The Wing Worker.
Ignite, managed by abrasive team leader Debra, were lost in a whirl of indecision until Philip came up with a rival to the Swiss Ball at the last minute.
Empire finally came to their senses, dropped the daft names and branded it as the Home Multi-Toner.
But it was a brand as bland as the product’s appearance.
Unsurprisingly, they struggled to pitch their black box of tricks to the three retailers – Powerhouse, John Lewis and Totally Fitness – with the latter also criticising it for effectively being a cheap multi-gym.
Meanwhile, Ignite leader Debra’s main worry, even as they headed in a taxi to their first pitch, was the ability of Lorraine to sell their product.
But, after an uncertain start, Lorraine improved and it was Yasmina who nearly made a major mistake during the John Lewis pitch.
The result was a clear win for Ignite, however. Indeed, it was one of the clearest in Apprentice history.
They still received 10,000 orders from John Lewis to put alongside their 80 from Powerhouse and 100 from Totally Fitness.
Empire received only 500 orders in total, all of them from John Lewis, and Sir Alan was even more scathing than usual in his attack on the losers.
He shouted: “You totally missed your target audience. You totally missed what the market wants.
“You came up with some lump of wood and you're sitting here wondering why you didn't get any orders.
"I know why you didn't get any orders! The whole thing sucks!"
As Ignite enjoyed a private recital from Katherine Jenkins, James found himself fighting for his Apprentice existence for the second successive week.
He brought Ben and Maj back into the boardroom and criticised the appearance of his own team’s product after the changes made to it by these colleagues.
Sir Alan suggested James was not heavily enough involved in the task while aide Margaret Mountford that Empire had lost focus on their target market.
James, who seemed constantly on the verge of tears, remained on dodgy ground throughout the boardroom confrontation.
And this was even more so the case after Ben accused him of making a lot of noise for little end product.
Ben successfully argued that he was the only team member to come up with an idea and was absolved by Sir Alan.
But, in an unexpected twist, Margaret defended James’s management style. She told Sir Alan that it was nothing like his occasionally loutish behaviour in the boardroom.
Suddenly the attention turned to Maj for his laidback attitude.
And he reinforced the perception by struggling to put up a defence, admitting later that he was unprepared for being under attack.
Even in the black cab after his firing, Maj only said: “I feel as if Alan Sugar didn’t get to see the best of me.”
Back in the boardroom, Sir Alan explained: “My instincts are that I can’t really have someone that is perceived not to contribute and you may not agree with this – but Maj, you’re fired.”
Sir Alan’s three firings so far have all suggested he has been getting rid of some ‘dead wood’ before the main competition begins.
And Sir Alan left James in no doubt as to his uncertain position after his second narrow escape.
Thursday, 2 April 2009
The Apprentice - series 5, ep 2: Ignite burn bright as Empire implode
The girls’ Ignite team pulled off a fine maiden win of the series after the boys’ Empire team imploded disastrously and made a loss.
Sir Alan asked the teams to provide a corporate catering service to business professionals. Ignite chose Yasmina as team leader while the ludicrously-named Rocky stepped up for Empire.
Having a restaurateur in charge, rather than a sandwich chain owner, seemed to me to leave Ignite in a favourable position for the second week running.
But, unlike week one when they failed to capitalise on their numerical advantage, the girls looked far better organised straightaway in coming up with their Mediterranean food idea.
Empire ended up plumping for a rather vague Olympics 2012 idea with their food representing the five continents of the world and the five Olympic rings.
And they only made it worse when they decided it was a good idea to wear togas to the evening event and to make peanut butter sandwiches!
Poor Country Durham lad Philip was left with the hopeless task of selling to the client at the ridiculous price of £60 per head on Rocky's instructions after a brief conversation with Howard.
Philip had to back down to £15 per head in one of the most cringe-worthy scenes of the series so far - even Philip himself called it "hideous".
Not that Ignite were much better in selling.
Sir Alan's aide Margaret Mountford rubbed her brow as Kate struggled to remember the most basic details about their menu.
And while Empire did not manage to get any lunch orders as compared to the Ignite's two offices, they proved a hit when selling their food on the South Bank to tourists.
But this task was only ever going to go one way even though Ignite's lunch suffered from a lack of variation, had no salad dressing and even contained a hair!
On the evening, Empire wore their tacky togas and covered the tables in a gold sheet, making it look "like a brothel" to Philip who had easily the most awareness.
And Sir Alan's aide Nick Hewer, who followed Empire, said: "Generally speaking, the togas have not gone down very well.
"Some of the older women are more appreciative but the younger ones find it more of a turnoff."
Despite the cheapness of their food, the lack of any chicken in some of the chicken wraps and the serving of some of the largest bruschettas known to man, Ignite at least steered clear of the peanut butter.
Their presentation was better and, unsurprisingly, their kitchen was run with military precision by restaurateur team leader Yasmina.
In all, Ignite made a tidy profit of £651.43 even after their client paid a reduced fee of £500, down from £750, for the evening service.
Empire clearly did not take heed of the girls' over-spending in week one and splurged more than £800.
Much of it went on their horrific presentation, which lost them more money after their client halved the fee to £375 for the evening service.
It meant a loss of £160.76 and so while the girls enjoyed learning how to play polo at Ascot Park, Empire were summoned back to see Sir Alan.
Sir Alan rebuked all of the boys for their failure as Rocky brought back James and Howard to the boardroom.
In the cafe and again in the boardroom, team leader Rocky blamed James for a perceived lack of work-ethic and for having a big mouth.
James gave a passionate defence, thumping the table as he did so, which only served to rile Sir Alan even more.
Rocky, whose youth career at Middlesbrough FC was cut short by arthritis, pleaded for more time to learn from his mistakes, but Sir Alan considered the disastrous outcome - a loss - and fired him.
He said: "Rocky, you're only 21 but one cannot ignore a series of what I call immature mistakes.
"Your career at Middlesbrough was halted. You got taken off the pitch on a stretcher. This time you're off the pitch in a black cab."
In the cab, Rocky said: "I'm going to take it on the chin and make sure that I do very well for myself."
Sir Alan asked the teams to provide a corporate catering service to business professionals. Ignite chose Yasmina as team leader while the ludicrously-named Rocky stepped up for Empire.
Having a restaurateur in charge, rather than a sandwich chain owner, seemed to me to leave Ignite in a favourable position for the second week running.
But, unlike week one when they failed to capitalise on their numerical advantage, the girls looked far better organised straightaway in coming up with their Mediterranean food idea.
Empire ended up plumping for a rather vague Olympics 2012 idea with their food representing the five continents of the world and the five Olympic rings.
And they only made it worse when they decided it was a good idea to wear togas to the evening event and to make peanut butter sandwiches!
Poor Country Durham lad Philip was left with the hopeless task of selling to the client at the ridiculous price of £60 per head on Rocky's instructions after a brief conversation with Howard.
Philip had to back down to £15 per head in one of the most cringe-worthy scenes of the series so far - even Philip himself called it "hideous".
Not that Ignite were much better in selling.
Sir Alan's aide Margaret Mountford rubbed her brow as Kate struggled to remember the most basic details about their menu.
And while Empire did not manage to get any lunch orders as compared to the Ignite's two offices, they proved a hit when selling their food on the South Bank to tourists.
But this task was only ever going to go one way even though Ignite's lunch suffered from a lack of variation, had no salad dressing and even contained a hair!
On the evening, Empire wore their tacky togas and covered the tables in a gold sheet, making it look "like a brothel" to Philip who had easily the most awareness.
And Sir Alan's aide Nick Hewer, who followed Empire, said: "Generally speaking, the togas have not gone down very well.
"Some of the older women are more appreciative but the younger ones find it more of a turnoff."
Despite the cheapness of their food, the lack of any chicken in some of the chicken wraps and the serving of some of the largest bruschettas known to man, Ignite at least steered clear of the peanut butter.
Their presentation was better and, unsurprisingly, their kitchen was run with military precision by restaurateur team leader Yasmina.
In all, Ignite made a tidy profit of £651.43 even after their client paid a reduced fee of £500, down from £750, for the evening service.
Empire clearly did not take heed of the girls' over-spending in week one and splurged more than £800.
Much of it went on their horrific presentation, which lost them more money after their client halved the fee to £375 for the evening service.
It meant a loss of £160.76 and so while the girls enjoyed learning how to play polo at Ascot Park, Empire were summoned back to see Sir Alan.
Sir Alan rebuked all of the boys for their failure as Rocky brought back James and Howard to the boardroom.
In the cafe and again in the boardroom, team leader Rocky blamed James for a perceived lack of work-ethic and for having a big mouth.
James gave a passionate defence, thumping the table as he did so, which only served to rile Sir Alan even more.
Rocky, whose youth career at Middlesbrough FC was cut short by arthritis, pleaded for more time to learn from his mistakes, but Sir Alan considered the disastrous outcome - a loss - and fired him.
He said: "Rocky, you're only 21 but one cannot ignore a series of what I call immature mistakes.
"Your career at Middlesbrough was halted. You got taken off the pitch on a stretcher. This time you're off the pitch in a black cab."
In the cab, Rocky said: "I'm going to take it on the chin and make sure that I do very well for myself."
Wednesday, 25 March 2009
The Apprentice - series 5, ep 1: Empire cleans up
A typically explosive start to the new series of the Apprentice ended with the boys' team Empire coming out on top and Anita as the first candidate fired.
Empire beat the girls' team, Ignite, by making a profit of £239, despite a smaller turnover.
It was an altogether unexpected victory for the boys who started a man down after one candidate, Adam, inexplicably withdrew from the competition before it had even started.
Sir Alan asked his teams to set up any type of cleaning company and both teams set up a car cleaning company with the boys also setting up a shoe-shine service. Mona (Ignite) and Howard (Empire) volunteered for the role as team leaders.
Even as they returned to the boardroom, the boys seemed unsure if they had got their tactics right.
Some of them were still arguing that the shoe-shine business was more profitable even though they abandoned it halfway through having spent ages cleaning just their first car.
Margaret Mountford said: “Never in the history of car washing have so few cars been cleaned by so many people.”
It did not matter, though, as the girls spectacularly failed to adhere to simple business rules despite starting late.
They only made a profit of £160.55 despite making £10 more than the boys after spending almost the entire £200 budget on costs.
Sir Alan said: “It’s a classic business message. They just simply overspent.”
The boys celebrated their somewhat fortunate victory in boisterous fashion at their cocktail-making (and drinking) session.
But the unexpected loss for the girls meant they completely fell apart in their inquest that followed and it was even more confusing when team leader Mona argued the toss with Anita and
Deborah who she had brought back to the boardroom with her.
Ultimately, though, the error was laid at the door of Anita who held the calculator as their budget was splurged.
Sir Alan said: "You showed no initiative in spotting that you were heading for disaster. And on that basis, you're fired."
Anita, in her fairness, said: "I'm bitterly disappointed but I accept that I was not particularly stellar."
It’s good to have The Apprentice back on our screens and reassuring to find that the programme-makers have not changed its successful format in what is now its fifth series.
With so many talking heads, it was difficult to see who might make the biggest impression. But, as Adrian Chiles pointed out on sister show The Apprentice: You’re Fired, Deborah stood out as the possible ice-maiden of the series as long as she continues to be reprieved.
Empire beat the girls' team, Ignite, by making a profit of £239, despite a smaller turnover.
It was an altogether unexpected victory for the boys who started a man down after one candidate, Adam, inexplicably withdrew from the competition before it had even started.
Sir Alan asked his teams to set up any type of cleaning company and both teams set up a car cleaning company with the boys also setting up a shoe-shine service. Mona (Ignite) and Howard (Empire) volunteered for the role as team leaders.
Even as they returned to the boardroom, the boys seemed unsure if they had got their tactics right.
Some of them were still arguing that the shoe-shine business was more profitable even though they abandoned it halfway through having spent ages cleaning just their first car.
Margaret Mountford said: “Never in the history of car washing have so few cars been cleaned by so many people.”
It did not matter, though, as the girls spectacularly failed to adhere to simple business rules despite starting late.
They only made a profit of £160.55 despite making £10 more than the boys after spending almost the entire £200 budget on costs.
Sir Alan said: “It’s a classic business message. They just simply overspent.”
The boys celebrated their somewhat fortunate victory in boisterous fashion at their cocktail-making (and drinking) session.
But the unexpected loss for the girls meant they completely fell apart in their inquest that followed and it was even more confusing when team leader Mona argued the toss with Anita and
Deborah who she had brought back to the boardroom with her.
Ultimately, though, the error was laid at the door of Anita who held the calculator as their budget was splurged.
Sir Alan said: "You showed no initiative in spotting that you were heading for disaster. And on that basis, you're fired."
Anita, in her fairness, said: "I'm bitterly disappointed but I accept that I was not particularly stellar."
It’s good to have The Apprentice back on our screens and reassuring to find that the programme-makers have not changed its successful format in what is now its fifth series.
With so many talking heads, it was difficult to see who might make the biggest impression. But, as Adrian Chiles pointed out on sister show The Apprentice: You’re Fired, Deborah stood out as the possible ice-maiden of the series as long as she continues to be reprieved.
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