Private Eye still packs a punch at 50

SATIRICAL mouthpiece Private Eye celebrated its 50th birthday this week in time-honoured fashion.

Featured on the front page of the latest edition, no. 1300, is David Cameron and his Conservative counterpart from 1961, Harold Macmillan.

It is the 23rd occasion that the current Prime Minister has been put on the cover though that is some way behind another of his predecessors, Margaret Thatcher, who leads with 95 appearances.

Famous front covers include a picture of Adolf Hitler telling us he is in fancy dress as Prince Harry after the young Royal's faux pas, and the hugely controversial 'Media to Blame' headline when Princess Diana died.

Other examples can be found on the Private Eye website which has a comprehensive index of its back issues.

Digging a little deeper, the Eye supplies fortnightly an irrepressible run of recurring in-jokes, regular columns, cartoons, and parodies of politicians, celebrities and, indeed, the newspaper industry.

Yes, journalism does not escape the clutches of the Eye: the Sun is oft-parodied for its SENSATIONALIST style, the Daily Mail mocked for its right-wing leanings and the Guardian - or Grauniad - for its spelling.

However, Private Eye is not just a joke mag but also a source itself of serious investigative journalism and a sanctuary for whistleblowers.

Indeed, the anniversary edition of the Eye has a list of 50 stories which it has broke over the years from the Profumo affair to Andrew Marr's more recent infidelity.

Among the magazine's current set of targets is former HM Revenue & Customs boss Dave Hartnett for his dodgy tax dealings with investment bank Goldman Sachs.

Of course, the Eye's propensity to push the boundaries has made it a few enemies in high places over the past half-century.

The proof of that comes in the fact that current editor - and Have I Got News For You panellist - Ian Hislop holds the unenviable record for being the most sued man in Britain.

Nevertheless, the Eye, with a circulation of more than 200,000, remains pretty well-regarded among political anoraks in this country, if not perhaps the British public at large.

Liberal Democrat MP Bob Russell even tabled an Early Day Motion at Westminster, proposing: "That this House congratulates satirical magazine Private Eye on its 50th anniversary".

The motion attracted 22 signatories, though the Eye notes that this total is five fewer MPs than the 27 who signed a similar proposal for its 1000th edition, 11 years ago.

Perhaps the recent scandals surrounding lobbying and MPs expenses means the Eye has got up a few more politicians' noses - but, in that respect, Mr Hislop and his team are only doing their jobs.

The American author and journalist Finley Peter Dunne once wrote that the job of a newspaper is "to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable".

And it would seem that Private... (cont. p94)

(That's enough, Ed.)

Rugby World Cup Final 2011: New Zealand end 24 years of hurt

NEW ZEALAND 8 Try Woodcock Pen Donald
FRANCE 7 Try Dusautoir Con Trinh-Duc

New Zealand Dagg, Jane, Smith, Nonu, Kahui, Cruden, Weepu - Woodcock, Mealamu, O Franks, Whitelock, Thorn, Kaino, McCaw (c), Read. Replacements: Donald (for Cruden), A Williams (for Whitelock), Hore (for Mealamu), Ellis (for Weepu), S Williams (for Nonu). Not used: B Franks, Thomson.
France Médard, Clerc, Rougerie, Mermoz, Palisson, Parra, Yachvili - Poux, Servat, Mas, Papé, Nallet, Dusautoir (c), Bonnaire, Harinordoquy. Replacements: Trinh-Duc (for Parra), Traille (for Clerc), Szarzewski (for Servat), Barcella (for Poux), Pierre (for Pape), Doussain (for Yachvili). Not used: Fulgence Ouedraogo
Attendance: 60,000 at Eden Park, Auckland Referee: Craig Joubert (SA) Half time: 5-0


NEW ZEALAND survived one hell of a fright against France to secure their first World Cup in 24 years at Eden Park in Auckland.

The All Blacks came into the match as heavy favourites after the two teams' mixed routes to the Final but this ended up being yet another close call for Graham Henry's men.

Palpable tension filled the arena as the French advanced in a V-formation on the All Blacks' Haka and there was evidence of early nerves in the New Zealand line-out.

France enjoyed the first clean burst of possession but they made little ground and worries from the neutral of a one-sided Final quickly returned as the All Blacks drew first blood.

The try on 15 minutes was a simple one, ironically from a lineout inside the 22 given their early troubles.

It was scored from the most unlikely of figures as prop forward Tony Woodcock strode through unchallenged after Jerome Kaino's clever knockdown.

But Piri Weepu was unable to add the conversion and it became evident that the scrum-half was not having the best of days off the tee when he sliced a penalty horribly wide shortly afterwards.

Kiwi fans always feared that they would miss the outstanding goal-kicking talent of Dan Carter but the team's accuracy in play was a lot better, and Richard Kahui almost set up another scoring chance with a grubber kick.

Aurelien Rougerie mopped that up well and it was clear that France, who had been put out of the game by this stage of the Pool match, were competing much better this time.

Nevertheless, they had to wait until towards the end of the half for their best spell of pressure through fly-half Francois Trinh-Duc, on for the injured Morgan Parra.

First, Trinh-Duc missed an ambitious drop goal before the glimmer of an even better chance as he made a line-break.

However, New Zealand reorganised to close the door and Weepu hastily brought an end to the first half with both sides very much still in the contest.

It was perhaps no surprise, then, that the second period began with a spell of frantic, open rugby.

The French started brightly again and forced a penalty when Kiwi skipper Richie McCaw was penalised for handling in the ruck.

Dmitri Yashvili missed a tough kick and New Zealand responded by winning a penalty of their own after Kieran Reid's brilliant take from a lineout reignited the atmosphere in Eden Park.

Stephen Donald, making his World Cup debut as the All Blacks' fourth choice fly-half after an injuries to Carter, Colin Slade and Aaron Cruden, placed his kick just inside the right-hand post.

That made it 8-0 and, as the ball sailed between the sticks, it seemed likely that Henry's men would get to loosen the shackles in the last 35 minutes of their World Cup adventure.

However, New Zealand's knockout matches with France are never that simple, and this was to prove no exception as the French hit back almost immediately with a try.

Captain Thierry Dusautoir was the scorer, sliding over next to the posts after the French backs had done well to keep alive the move once Yashvili had slipped.

Yashvili then sent over the simple conversion and, suddenly, New Zealand's lead was down to one point with the score at 8-7.

At this stage, based upon past experiences, All Blacks fans could not be blamed for watching the rest of the match through their fingers or even from behind the sofa.

But the steely character of this New Zealand team is the best that it has been since 1987, as we had witnessed in their previous match when they completely shut down the second half of the semi final against Australia.

France would suffer a similar fate as they struggled to make headway against the All Black defence despite having more than 30 minutes to score any points.

It was not through the want of trying, though, and Marc Lievremont's strange reign as the French head coach ended with his team giving one of their best performances.

But, while France had ensured this Final was a worthy contest and not the whitewash that had been feared, New Zealand were undoubtedly the worthy winners.

The spell has been broken, the haunting chains of failure have been removed. After 24 years, the All Blacks' pain is finally over and there is something about that which just feels right.


FULL RESULTS
SEMI FINAL RESULTS

Date		Venue	Tries
Sat 15 Oct	WALES 8-9 FRANCE	Eden Park, Auckland	1-0
Sun 16 Oct	AUSTRALIA 6-20 NEW ZEALAND	Eden Park, Auckland	0-1

QUARTER FINAL RESULTS

Date		Venue	Tries
Sat 8 Oct	IRELAND 10-22 WALES	Wellington	1-3
Sat 8 Oct	ENGLAND 12-19 FRANCE	Eden Park, Auckland	2-2
Sun 9 Oct	SOUTH AFRICA 9-11 AUSTRALIA	Wellington	0-1
Sun 9 Oct	NEW ZEALAND 33-10 ARGENTINA	Eden Park, Auckland	2-1

RUGBY WORLD CUP 2011: FIRST ROUND RESULTS/TABLES

POOL A

TV	Date		Venue
ITV1	Fri 09 Sep	NEW ZEALAND 41-10 TONGA	Eden Park, Auckland
ITV1	Sat 10 Sep	FRANCE 47-21 JAPAN	North Harbour, Auckland
ITV4	Wed 14 Sep	TONGA 20-25 CANADA	Whangarei
ITV1	Fri 16 Sep	NEW ZEALAND 83-7 JAPAN	Hamilton
ITV1	Sun 18 Sep	FRANCE 46-19 CANADA	Napier
ITV4	Wed 21 Sep	TONGA 31-18 JAPAN	Whangarei
ITV1	Sat 24 Sep	NEW ZEALAND 37-17 FRANCE	Eden Park, Auckland
ITV4	Tue 27 Sep	CANADA 23-23 JAPAN	Napier
ITV1	Sat 1 Oct	FRANCE 14-19 TONGA	Wellington
ITV1	Sun 2 Oct	NEW ZEALAND 79-15 CANADA	Wellington

Pool A Table	W	D	L	F	A	Tries	Pts
Q NEW ZEALAND	4	0	0	240	49	36	20
Q FRANCE	2	0	2	124	96	15	11
TONGA	2	0	2	80	98	7	9
CANADA	1	1	2	82	168	9	6
JAPAN	0	1	3	69	184	8	2

POOL B

TV	Date		Venue
ITV1	Sat 10 Sep	SCOTLAND 34-24 ROMANIA	Invercargill
ITV1	Sat 10 Sep	ENGLAND 13-9 ARGENTINA	Dunedin
ITV1	Wed 14 Sep	SCOTLAND 15-6 GEORGIA	Invercargill
ITV1	Sat 17 Sep	ARGENTINA 43-8 ROMANIA	Invercargill
ITV1	Sun 18 Sep	ENGLAND 41-10 GEORGIA	Dunedin
ITV1	Sat 24 Sep	ENGLAND 67-3 ROMANIA	Dunedin
ITV1	Sun 25 Sep	ARGENTINA 13-12 SCOTLAND	Wellington
ITV4	Wed 28 Sep	GEORGIA 25-9 ROMANIA	Napier
ITV1	Sat 1 Oct	ENGLAND 16-12 SCOTLAND	Eden Park, Auckland
ITV1	Sun 2 Oct	ARGENTINA 25-7 GEORGIA	Palmerston North

Pool B Table	W	L	F	A	Tries	Pts
Q ENGLAND	4	0	137	34	18	18
Q ARGENTINA	3	1	90	40	10	14
SCOTLAND	2	2	73	59	4	11
GEORGIA	1	3	48	90	3	4
ROMANIA	0	4	44	169	3	0

POOL C

TV	Date		Venue
ITV1	Sun 11 Sep	AUSTRALIA 32-6 ITALY	North Harbour, Auckland
ITV1	Sun 11 Sep	IRELAND 22-10 UNITED STATES	New Plymouth
ITV4	Thu 15 Sep	RUSSIA 6-13 UNITED STATES	New Plymouth
ITV1	Sat 17 Sep	AUSTRALIA 6-15 IRELAND	Eden Park, Auckland
ITV4	Tue 20 Sep	ITALY 53-17 RUSSIA	Nelson
ITV1	Fri 23 Sep	AUSTRALIA 67-5 UNITED STATES	Wellington
ITV1	Sun 25 Sep	IRELAND 62-12 RUSSIA	Rotorua
ITV4	Tue 27 Sep	ITALY 27-10 UNITED STATES	Nelson
ITV1	Sat 1 Oct	AUSTRALIA 68-22 RUSSIA	Nelson
ITV1	Sun 2 Oct	IRELAND 36-6 ITALY	Dunedin

Pool C Table	W	L	F	A	Tries	Pts
Q IRELAND	4	0	135	34	15	17
Q AUSTRALIA	3	1	173	48	25	15
ITALY	2	2	92	95	13	10
UNITED STATES	1	3	38	122	4	4
RUSSIA	0	4	57	196	8	1

POOL D

TV	Date		Venue
ITV1	Sat 10 Sep	FIJI 49-25 NAMIBIA	Rotorua
ITV1	Sun 11 Sep	SOUTH AFRICA 17-16 WALES	Wellington
ITV1	Wed 14 Sep	SAMOA 49-12 NAMIBIA	Rotorua
ITV1	Sat 17 Sep	SOUTH AFRICA 49-3 FIJI	Wellington
ITV1	Sun 18 Sep	WALES 17-10 SAMOA	Hamilton
ITV4	Thu 22 Sep	SOUTH AFRICA 87-0 NAMIBIA	North Harbour, Auckland
ITV1	Sun 25 Sep	FIJI 7-27 SAMOA	Eden Park, Auckland
ITV1	Mon 26 Sep	WALES 81-7 NAMIBIA	New Plymouth
ITV4	Fri 30 Sep	SOUTH AFRICA 13-5 SAMOA	North Harbour, Auckland
ITV1	Sun 2 Oct	WALES 66-0 FIJI	Hamilton

Pool D Table	W	L	F	A	Tries	Pts
Q SOUTH AFRICA	4	0	166	24	21	18
Q WALES	3	1	180	34	23	15
SAMOA	2	2	91	49	9	10
FIJI	1	3	59	167	7	5
NAMIBIA	0	4	44	266	5	0

TOP POINTS SCORERS (minimum 20 points)
62 Morne Steyn (South Africa)
52 James O'Connor (Australia)
45 Kurt Morath (Tonga)
44 Ronan O'Gara (Ireland)
41 Piri Weepu (New Zealand)
39 Dimitri Yashvili (France)
37 Morgan Parra (France)
36 Colin Slade (New Zealand)
34 James Arlidge (Japan)
33 Rhys Priestland (Wales)
30 Chris Ashton (England), Vincent Clerc (France)
28 Jonny Wilkinson (England), Merab Kvirikashvili (Georgia), Stephen Jones (Wales)
26 Felipe Contepomi (Argentina), Berrick Barnes (Australia)
25 Adam Ashley-Cooper (Australia), Keith Earls (Ireland), Israel Dagg (New Zealand), Tusi Pisi (Samoa)
24 Theuns Kotze (Namibia), Dan Parks (Scotland)
23 Chris Paterson (Scotland), James Hook (Wales)
22 Ander Monro (Canada), Seremaia Bai (Fiji)
21 Toby Flood (England), Jonathan Sexton (Ireland), Dan Carter (New Zealand), Paul Williams (Samoa), Francois Steyn (South Africa)
20 James Pritchard (Canada), Mark Cueto (England), Vereniki Goneva (Fiji), Zac Guildford (New Zealand), Richard Kahui (New Zealand), Jerome Kaino (New Zealand), Sonny Bill Williams (New Zealand), Scott Williams (Wales)

TOP TRY SCORERS (minimum three tries)
6 Chris Ashton (England), Vincent Clerc (France)
5 Adam Ashley-Cooper (Australia), Keith Earls (Ireland), Israel Dagg (New Zealand)
4 Mark Cueto (England), Vereniki Goneva (Fiji), Zac Guildford (New Zealand), Richard Kahui (New Zealand), Jerome Kaino (New Zealand), Sonny Bill Williams (New Zealand), Scott Williams (Wales)
3 Berrick Barnes (Australia), Drew Mitchell (Australia), Ma'a Nonu (New Zealand), Francois Hougaard (South Africa), Francois Steyn (South Africa), Alesana Tuilagi (Samoa), Jonathan Davies (Wales), George North (Wales), Shane Williams (Wales)

LATEST IRB RANKINGS (correct as of 24/10/2011)
1 NEW ZEALAND 91.43 - Winners
2 AUSTRALIA 87.42 - Third place
3 FRANCE 84.70 - Runners-up
4 SOUTH AFRICA 84.34 - Quarter finals
5 ENGLAND 81.58 - Quarter finals
6 IRELAND 80.65 - Quarter finals
7 ARGENTINA 80.28 - Quarter finals
8 WALES 80.18 - Semi finals
9 TONGA 76.63 - Group stages
10 SCOTLAND 76.20 - Group stages

IRB AWARDS 2011
IRB International Player of the Year Thierry Dusautoir (France)
IRB International Team of the Year New Zealand
IRB International Coach of the Year Graham Henry (New Zealand)

Rugby World Cup 2011: New Zealand face yet another French test

	THE RUGBY WORLD CUP 2011 FINAL
Sun 23 Oct 09:00	FRANCE v NEW ZEALAND	Eden Park, Auckland

NEW ZEALAND will face a familiar foe in the form of France when they aim to win their first World Cup in 24 years on Sunday at Eden Park in Auckland.

The All Blacks beat the French 29-9 in the inaugural final back in 1987. That was also at Eden Park but, since then, France have done more than any other team to extend New Zealand's World Cup drought.

In 1999, France won a brilliant semi final 43-31 at Twickenham and, four years ago, the All Blacks felt aggrieved when the French scored from a forward pass on the way to a 20-18 quarter final victory.

Graham Henry's team have already avenged that controversial defeat with a classy 37-17 defeat of France in the Pool stages.

But the New Zealanders know it will all count for nought unless they walk away with the William Webb Ellis trophy this time.

Unsurprisingly, given the nature of the two sides' progress to the Final, the All Blacks are huge favourites, as short as 1/9 with most bookmakers.

By contrast, France, who also lost a Pool match to Tonga before beating England in the last eight and Wales in the semis, are generally rated a 6/1 shot - long odds in a two-horse race.

Of course, it could be argued with some justification that France should not be there at all after the Welsh controversially lost their first World Cup semi final since 1987.

This has been a tournament in which the Dragon has roared, one in which only New Zealand and Australia have scored more tries.

Wales started their semi final with positive intent again but only had James Hook's penalty to show for their territory and possession when the match was inexorably turned upon its head in just the 18th minute.

The vital moment came when Welsh skipper Sam Warbuton made it a strong tackle without any malicious intent on Vincent Clerc.

The French winger's feet left the ground and the spear challenge looked set to be met with a yellow card and 10 minutes in the sin-bin.

But, instead, Irish referee Alain Rolland flashed a red at the devastated Warburton, and Wales were forced to play their biggest match for 24 years with 14 men.

At first, it looked as if Rolland's call would completely spoil the contest as the French launched a flurry of attacks, winning a further penalty just before half-time to lead 6-3.

France scored first in the second period, another accurate Morgan Parra penalty making it 9-3 and many began to fear the worst for Wales.

The 14 men in red thought differently, though, and Mike Phillips followed up his effort against Ireland last week with another brilliant try.

Phillips picked the ball up at the base of the ruck, then sold a dummy to the French defence before handing off Pascal Pape to dash over the line.

Suddenly, it was game on at 9-8 but, vitally, Stephen Jones could only shave the post with the conversion. Nevertheless, the try restored Wales' belief and France were forced to defend wave after wave of attack.

Indeed, this was nothing short of a heroic effort for the short-staffed Welsh who eschewed the chance of a drop goal in favour of pushing for the line again before knocking on.

That was perhaps a little naive but the Welsh would be rewarded with one final chance of going through to their first-ever World Cup Final winning a penalty just inside the French half with five minutes left.

Leigh Halfpenny, who had kicked such a distance before, stood over and addressed the ball, swiping the kick high into the Auckland sky and between the posts. Agonisingly, it fell a couple of feet short.

One final attack summed up the spirit in the Welsh ranks as they recycled the ball through 26 phases in search of another penalty or try.

It never came and French resistance had worked and got them through to a barely-deserved third World Cup Final, having lost the previous two.

France may have defended well in the last half an hour of their match against the Welsh but that will hold no fears for a New Zealand side who have just demolished a stout Australia team.

The Wallabies' quarter final victory over South Africa was the stuff of Australian sporting legend as they won 11-9 despite the Springboks enjoying more of the ball and an incredible 75% of the territory.

Against the All Blacks, Australia could not repeat the feat. Indeed, it all started to go wrong right from the kick off which New Zealand-born Quade Cooper sent straight out of play.

That gave New Zealand the chance to effect some early pressure and, after four minutes, the hosts went ahead with a well-worked try.

The danger came as the impressive Israel Dagg made a break and, just as he looked to be heading into touch, he sent a brilliant one-handed pass back to Ma'a Nonu to go over in the corner.

Piri Weepu, who impressed in the quarter final against Argentina, missed the conversion but he was soon on the scoresheet with a straight-forward penalty to make it 8-0 after Aaron Cruden had broken into the Wallaby 22.

Australia were in danger of going under fast but responded with pressure of their own which ended when James O'Connor slotted over a simple kick.

Even that early on, though, it needed to be so much more as the momentum of the game was set.

Indeed, the All Blacks Zealand had restored their eight-point advantage again by half-time, leading 14-6 as Cruden and Cooper swapped drop goals before Weepu fired over a long-range pen.

Another Weepu penalty straight after the interval made it 17-6 but the second period was a masterclass in defending a lead from New Zealand.

The All Blacks won turnover after turnover as the Wallabies tried, in complete vain, to get a foothold back in the game.

With just eight minutes left, New Zealand forced yet another turnover at the scrum and Weepu added three points to his tally.

That made it 20-6 and, though there had only been six points in the second half, this had been an engrossing defensive performance from the ABs.

It is hard now to see a much less talented French team succeeding where Australia failed.

For, even shorn of top international points scorer Dan Carter, surely it is the All Blacks' destiny to win the World Cup this time. On Sunday in Auckland, we will find out for sure.


SEMI FINAL RESULTS

Date		Venue	Tries
Sat 15 Oct	WALES 8-9 FRANCE	Eden Park, Auckland	1-0
Sun 16 Oct	AUSTRALIA 6-20 NEW ZEALAND	Eden Park, Auckland	0-1

QUARTER FINAL RESULTS

Date		Venue	Tries
Sat 8 Oct	IRELAND 10-22 WALES	Wellington	1-3
Sat 8 Oct	ENGLAND 12-19 FRANCE	Eden Park, Auckland	2-2
Sun 9 Oct	SOUTH AFRICA 9-11 AUSTRALIA	Wellington	0-1
Sun 9 Oct	NEW ZEALAND 33-10 ARGENTINA	Eden Park, Auckland	2-1

POOL STAGE RESULTS
The results and tables from all 40 Pool matches can be found here.

Fox falls on his sword

DEFENCE Secretary Liam Fox resigned last night after days of mounting pressure over his professional links to his friend, the self-styled advisor Adam Werrity.

Dr Fox had apologised last weekend and he was put under investigation by the Permanent Secretary Gus O'Donnell for an apparent breach of the ministerial code.

But, realising the slow, drip-drip effect of the media storm against him, Dr Fox pre-empted Mr O'Donnell's report by stepping away from frontline politics.

"I mistakenly allowed the distinction between my personal interest and my government activities to become blurred," Dr Fox wrote in his resignation letter.

"The consequences of this have become clearer in recent days. I am very sorry for this."

Prime Minister David Cameron praised Dr Fox for his "superb job" in the role but also said he understood the reasons for his departure.

Indeed, Dr Fox's decision relieved some of the pressure on Mr Cameron as well after it appeared that he had effectively passed all responsibility to Mr O'Donnell.

In doing so, Mr Cameron faced accusations of dithering and errors in his judgement, just as he had over his employment of former News of the World editor Andy Coulson once the phone-hacking details emerged.

But at least the PM acted quickly in reshuffling his Cabinet. Transport secretary Philip Hammond moves to Defence while Treasury minister Justine Greening is promoted into Mr Hammond's role.

Although he has no background in Defence, Mr Hammond is seen as a safe pair of hands who will provide continuity for his department at a time in which the British forces are still involved in two wars.

Meanwhile, Ms Greening becomes the fifth woman in the Cabinet as the PM seeks to regain some of the support which the Conservatives have lost among female voters.

Labour has, of course, been making plenty of political capital out of only the second ministerial resignation from the coalition government so far, and the first Conservative to go.

Shadow Defence Secretary Jim Murphy has called on Mr O'Donnell's investigation to be continued despite Dr Fox's resignation.

But, while it looks disingenuous and even hypocritical given the actions of some Cabinet ministers in the previous 13 years, Labour is simply doing the job of HM Loyal Opposition... by opposing.

The press has also come in for some criticism from some members of the Conservative party for having an agenda against Dr Fox.

Peter Bone, who will now be joined on the backbenches by him, was most critical and accused the media of indulging in "tittle-tattle" and organising a "witch-hunt".

Mr Bone added: "He said he made mistakes and with hindsight he wouldn't have done it but I didn't think that was enough to require him to resign."

However, Mr Bone needs to realise that this is exactly the sort of situation which causes a minister to resign.

Of course, the daily front-page headlines will have been hard for Dr Fox to take - and some would even suggest they were unedifying.

But, just as the Labour opposition are there to oppose, then the press are there to hold ministers to account - and it could hardly be said that Dr Fox did not have a case to answer.

After all, Mr Werrity had made as many as 18 trips abroad with the minister despite having no official role in the government.

He had also handed out business cards suggesting he did, in fact, have an official role and he was present at meetings which Dr Fox had with military figures, diplomats and defence contractors.

There remain unanswered questions such as who was funding Mr Werritty's global travels, why were they doing it and why was it allowed to continue for so long.

But, even if the investigation shows Mr Werrity had not paid cash for access to government, the impression that he had done - and the fact that he was too close to Dr Fox - could not be shrugged off.

Dr Fox knows the ministerial code prevents Secretaries of State not only from wrongdoing but also giving an impression of wrongdoing. In this regard, Dr Fox knew he had to resign.

Oddly, by apologising and pre-empting the report, Dr Fox may have saved his political career in the long-term.

Clearly one of the more intelligent ministers of recent times, his mistake was nevertheless a simple one - the entwining of his personal and professional lives.

And, though his position had become untenable, it was not a good old fashioned British sex scandal and no cash has been proven to have actually changed hands between Dr Fox and his friend - yet.

If that remained the case, it would be no surprise to see Dr Fox back at the top of British politics before his career is over.

But he would be wise to read the ministerial code from cover-to-cover first.

F1 2011: Vettel completes the inevitable

F1 2011 SEASON RESULTS

PODIUMS

Australian GP (Pole: Sebastian Vettel)

1 Sebastian Vettel (Ger) Red Bull-Renault

2 Lewis Hamilton (Gbr) McLaren-Mercedes

3 Vitaly Petrov (Rus) Renault

Malaysian GP (Pole: Sebastian Vettel)

1 Sebastian Vettel (Ger) Red Bull-Renault

2 Jenson Button (Gbr) McLaren-Mercedes

3 Nick Heidfeld (Ger) Renault

Chinese GP (Pole: Sebastian Vettel)

1 Lewis Hamilton (Gbr) McLaren-Mercedes

2 Sebastian Vettel (Ger) Red Bull-Renault

3 Mark Webber (Aus) Red Bull-Renault

Turkish GP (Pole: Sebastian Vettel)

1 Sebastian Vettel (Ger) Red Bull-Renault

2 Mark Webber (Aus) Red Bull-Renault

3 Fernando Alonso (Spa) Ferrari

Spanish GP (Pole: Mark Webber)

1 Sebastian Vettel (Ger) Red Bull-Renault

2 Lewis Hamilton (Gbr) McLaren-Mercedes

3 Jenson Button (Gbr) McLaren-Mercedes

Monaco GP (Pole: Sebastian Vettel)

1 Sebastian Vettel (Ger) Red Bull-Renault

2 Fernando Alonso (Spa) Ferrari

3 Jenson Button (Gbr) McLaren-Mercedes

Canadian GP (Pole: Sebastian Vettel)

1 Jenson Button (Gbr) McLaren-Mercedes

2 Sebastian Vettel (Ger) Red Bull-Renault 

3 Mark Webber (Aus) Red Bull-Renault

European GP (Valencia) (Pole: Sebastian Vettel)

1 Sebastian Vettel (Ger) Red Bull-Renault

2 Fernando Alonso (Spa) Ferrari

3 Mark Webber (Aus) Red Bull-Renault

British GP (Pole: Mark Webber)

1 Fernando Alonso (Spa) Ferrari

2 Sebastian Vettel (Ger) Red Bull-Renault

3 Mark Webber (Aus) Red Bull-Renault

German GP (Pole: Mark Webber)

1 Lewis Hamilton (Gbr) McLaren-Mercedes

2 Fernando Alonso (Spa) Ferrari

3 Mark Webber (Aus) Red Bull-Renault

Hungarian GP (Pole: Sebastian Vettel)

1 Jenson Button (Gbr) McLaren-Mercedes

2 Sebastian Vettel (Ger) Red Bull-Renault

3 Fernando Alonso (Spa) Ferrari

Belgian GP
1 Sebastian Vettel (Ger) Red Bull-Renault
2 Mark Webber (Aus) Red Bull-Renault
3 Jenson Button (Gbr) McLaren-Mercedes

Italian GP1 Sebastian Vettel (Ger) Red Bull-Renault
2 Jenson Button (Gbr) McLaren-Mercedes
3 Fernando Alonso (Spa) Ferrari

Singapore GP
1 Sebastian Vettel (Ger) Red Bull-Renault
2 Jenson Button (Gbr) McLaren-Mercedes
3 Mark Webber (Aus) Red Bull-Renault

Japanese GP
1 Jenson Button (Gbr) McLaren-Mercedes
2 Fernando Alonso (Spa) Ferrari
3 Sebastian Vettel (Ger) Red Bull-Renault

REMAINING CALENDAR

16 October Korean GP (Yeongam)

30 October Indian GP (Greater Noida)

13 November Abu Dhabi GP (Yas Island)

27 November Brazilian GP (Sao Paulo)

F1 2011 STANDINGS

World Drivers' Championship

1 Sebastian Vettel (Ger) Red Bull-Renault 324

2 Jenson Button (Gbr) McLaren-Mercedes 210
3 Fernando Alonso (Spa) Ferrari 202
4 Mark Webber (Aus 194

5 Lewis Hamilton (Gbr) McLaren-Mercedes 178

6 Felipe Massa (Bra) Ferrari 90

7 Nico Rosberg (Ger) Mercedes 63
8 Michael Schumacher (Ger) Mercedes 60

9 Vitaly Petrov (Rus) Renault 36

10 Nick Heidfeld (Ger) Renault 34

11 Adrian Sutil (Ger) Force India-Mercedes 28
12 Kamui Kobayashi (Jpn) Sauber-Ferrari 27

13 Paul di Resta (Gbr) Force India-Mercedes 20
14 Jaime Alguersuari (Spa) Toro Rosso-Ferrari 16

15 Sergio Perez (Mex) Sauber-Ferrari 13

16 Sebastien Buemi (Swi) Toro Rosso-Ferrari 13

17 Rubens Barrichello (Bra) Williams-Cosworth 4

18 Bruno Senna (Bra) Renault 2

19 Pastor Maldonado (Ven) Williams-Cosworth 1

Nine drivers have yet to score: (20 Pedro de la Rosa (Spa) Sauber, 21 Jarno Trulli (Ita) Lotus-Renault, 22 Heikki Kovalainen (Fin) Lotus-Renault, 23 Vitantonio Liuzzi (Ita) HRT-Cosworth, 24 Jerome d'Ambrosio (Bel) Virgin-Cosworth, 25 Timo Glock (Ger) Virgin-Cosworth, 26 Daniel Ricciardo (Aus) HRT-Cosworth, 27 Narain Karthikeyan (Ind) HRT-Cosworth, 28 Karun Chandhok (Ind) Lotus-Renault).

Constructors' Championship

1 Red Bull-Renault (Aut) 518

2 McLaren-Mercedes (Gbr) 388

3 Ferrari (Ita) 292

4 Mercedes (Ger) 123

5 Renault (Gbr) 72

6 Force India-Mercedes (Ind) 48

7 Sauber-Ferrari (Swi) 40
8 Toro Rosso-Ferrari (Ita) 29

9 Williams-Cosworth (Gbr) 5

There are three teams (Lotus-Renault (Mal), Virgin-Cosworth (Rus) and HRT-Cosworth (Spa)) which have yet to score.

Euro 2012 qualifiers: Scotland slump out while Irish enjoy the rub of the green

SCOTLAND failed in their bid for an unlikely Euro 2012 playoff spot after losing 3-1 to Spain in Alicante tonight.

The Spanish, who had already easily won Group I, dominated the early exchanges and David Silva gave the hosts the lead by firing under goalkeeper Allan McGregor.

Scottish hopes were now pretty much in the hands of Lithuania who were at home to the Czech Republic but, here also, matters went against Craig Levein's men.

Michal Kadlec gave the Czechs the lead from the penalty spot and, by half time, Scotland were effectively out of Euro 2012, going 2-0 behind to another Silva goal while the Czechs led by three.

It was to the Scots' credit then that they fought valiantly in the second half even though they fell further behind when Silva set up David Villa for his 50th international goal.

Blackburn Rovers' David Goodwillie pulled a goal back with his first touch from the penalty spot while, hundreds of miles away, another penalty by Darvydas Sernas also reduced Lithuania's deficit to 3-1.

But confirmation that it was the Czechs - and not Scotland - who would make it through came when Kadlec scored his second spot-kick of the night to make it 4-1 in Vilnius.

Holders Spain thus finished top of Group I with a 100% record with the Czech Republic in second but the Spanish were not the only team with a perfect record.

Euro 2008 runners-up Germany matched that achievement with 10 wins out of 10 in Group A as they easily beat playoff hopefuls Belgium 3-1 in Duesseldorf.

Mesut Oezil and André Schuerrle struck late in the first half before Mario Gomez added another goal just after the restart. Everton midfielder Marouane Fellaini scored a consolation goal back for the visitors after 86 minutes.

The Belgians' defeat let in Guus Hiddink's Turkey for the runners-up spot after Burak Yılmaz scored the only goal in a 1-0 win over Azerbaijan in Istanbul.

Russia sealed their expected qualification from Group B with a 6-0 thumping of Andorra leaving Republic of Ireland and Armenia to slug it out for a playoff place.

The Irish won the race but only after a dramatic night at the Aviva Stadium in Dublin.

Almost two years on from Thierry Henry's handball in the 2010 World Cup qualifying playoffs, this time Lady Luck smiled on Ireland in two quick successive handball incidents.

West Brom striker Simon Cox appeared to take down a long ball with his hand before his attempted lob was saved by the chest of Armenian keeper Roman Berezovski.

Extraordinarily, Berezovksi received a red card for illegally denying a goalscoring opportunity and it got worse for Armenia before half time.

For Ireland went 1-0 up, not through their own effort but following an own goal from Gevorg Ghazaryan who poked into his own net when it was just as easy to clear the ball for a corner.

After the break, Giovanni Trapattoni's men put themselves in an even better position when Richard Dunne bundled home from close-range.

But the Armenians, who were top scorers in the group with 22 goals, hit back straightaway as Henrik Mkhitaryan took advantage of slack marking to hit a low shot past Shay Given.

If Armenia had been the group's livewires, then the Irish had been the stalwarts and that was the first goal that Ireland had conceded in more than eight international matches.

Trapattoni's perfected catenaccio ensured this would be their only defensive lapse and Ireland will now contest their sixth playoff since 1996.

By contrast, Estonia have made it into their first playoff without playing after Slovenia outdid their Balkan rivals Serbia with a 1-0 win in Group C.

Slovenia, who had nothing to play for, scored on the stroke of half-time through Dare Vrsic before Serbian skipper Nemanja Vidic had a second-half penalty saved by Samir Handanovic.

Serbia's defeat left them a point behind Estonia who completed their programme on Friday with their second successive win over Northern Ireland.

Those defeats brought the resignation of Nigel Worthington's whose reign bowed out on a low note with a 3-0 defeat to runaway leaders Italy in Pescara.

Milan striker Antonio Cassano scored goals either side of half time before a late own goal by Gareth McAuley left Worthington with just two wins in his last 24 matches.

In competitive games overall, Worthington oversaw only eight wins in 26 games and his record was simply not good enough in the end - even for a wee country.

While Estonia had exceeded expectations by making a playoff from Group C, Bosnia-Herzegovina were trying to go one better this evening by beating France in Paris to top Group D.

The shock looked on when Manchester City striker Edin Dzeko gave the lead to the visitors just before half time.

But the French got out of jail with just 12 minutes left when Dzeko's club mate Samir Nasri scored from the spot having been tripped himself by Emir Spahic.

Laurent Blanc's side finished on 21 points, a point clear of Bosnians who nonetheless still harbour hopes of a place in a major tournament as an independent nation for the first time, despite not being seeded in the playoffs.

Group E runners-up Sweden have no such concerns after depriving Netherlands of a 100% record by beating them in the final qualifier in Stockholm.

Kim Kallstrom gave the Swedes an early lead before the Dutch hit back either side of half-time through Klass-Jan Huntelaar and Liverpool's Dirk Kuyt.

But Sweden knew that a win would qualify them automatically as the best-runner up in the nine groups and Sunderland's Sebastian Larsson scored a second goal in a week before Ola Toivonen hit the winner a minute later.

There was an even more dramatic finish in Group F as Euro 2004 champions Greece came from behind to beat Georgia and seal a place in the finals.

It all looked like going wrong for Fernando Santos' men after David Targamadze gave Termuri Ketsbaia's Georgians the lead while Croatia led 2-0 at home to Latvia in Rijeka.

However, Giorgos Fotakis scored a vital equaliser with 10 minutes left, rendering the Croats' result irrelevant, before Angelos Charisteas made sure there would be no Greek tragedy in Tblisi. Slaven Bilic's Croatia will contest the playoffs.

And finally, the biggest upset of the night came in Copenhagen where Denmark beat Portugal 2-1 to win Group H and consign Cristiano Ronaldo and co to the playoffs.

The Danes' victory was richly deserved after Morten Olsen's men scored a goal in each half through Michael Kroen-Dehli and Nicklas Bendtner to ensure they kept their 100% home record. Ronaldo's stoppage time strike was much too little, too late for the Portuguese.

Group G is only the section not yet mentioned as there was nothing riding on tonight's results with England having qualified after Friday's draw against Montenegro, and with the Montenegrins having made the playoffs.

Nevertheless, it is worth commenting on a third successive win for Wales as Gareth Bale scored his second goal in a week to beat Bulgaria 1-0 in Sofia.

Bulgaria fans boycotted this qualifier and their action comes as no surprise given their team finished bottom with just five points from eight games.

Gary Speed's improving Wales were fourth despite losing their opening four qualifiers, and they were denied third place only because Switzerland took advantage of a disinterested Montenegro team to win 2-0.

QUALIFIED TEAMS
Poland (co-hosts)
Ukraine (co-hosts)
Germany
Netherlands
Italy
Spain (holders)
England
Greece
Russia
Denmark
France
Sweden (best-runner up)

PLAYOFF DRAW:
Turkey v Croatia
Estonia v Republic of Ireland
Czech Republic v Montenegro
Bosnia-Herzegovina v Portugal
First legs played on 11-12 November. Second legs on 15 November.

EURO 2012 RESULTS
11 October 2011
Final group-by-group standings (BBC)

GROUP A
Germany 3-1 Belgium
Turkey 1-0 Azerbaijan
Kazakhstan 0-0 Austria

GROUP B
FYR Macedonia 1-1 Slovakia
Republic of Ireland 2-1 Armenia
Russia 6-0 Andorra

GROUP C
Italy 3-0 Northern Ireland
Slovenia 1-0 Serbia

GROUP D
Albania 1-1 Romania
France 1-1 Bosnia-Herzegovina

GROUP E
Hungary 0-0 Finland
Moldova 4-0 San Marino
Sweden 3-2 Netherlands

GROUP F
Croatia 2-0 Latvia
Georgia 1-2 Greece
Malta 0-2 Israel

GROUP G
Bulgaria 0-1 Wales
Switzerland 2-0 Montenegro

GROUP H
Denmark 2-1 Portugal
Norway 3-1 Cyprus

GROUP I
Lithuania 1-4 Czech Republic
Spain 3-1 Scotland

Rugby World Cup 2011: England flop to France - Wales, Wallabies and All Blacks advance

SEMI FINAL DRAW
Both matches live on ITV1

Date/Time (BST)		Venue
Sat 15 Oct 09:00	WALES v FRANCE	Eden Park, Auckland
Sun 16 Oct 09:00	AUSTRALIA v NEW ZEALAND	Eden Park, Auckland

ENGLAND returned home today amid acrimony after their disastrous World Cup campaign in New Zealand.

The tour finished as badly as it began with Manu Tuilagi becoming the latest player to find himself in the headlines after being detained by police and fined £3,000 for jumping off a ferry.

Earlier incidents included mystery blondes, dwarf tossing, bungee jumping and players making inappropriate comments to a female hotel worker. The BBC has even compiled a catalogue of the misdemeanours here.

It would not have been so bad if the off-field antics had been accompanied by a decent performance level on the field but there was a lack of discipline during the matches as well.

Nevertheless, Martin Johnson's men had at least won all four of their Pool matches while their opponents, France, had lost half of theirs.

England thus began as strong favourites against the French with a rejigged line-up featuring both Jonny Wilkinson and Toby Flood in the absence of centre Mike Tindall.

Wilkinson and Flood combined well in the early stages as England made a bright start with the ball-in-hand.

But poor handling and set-pieces started to creep into England's game as Dimirti Yachvili gave the French confidence a boost by slotting over two penalties to make it 6-0.

Then, just a couple of minutes after the second penalty came a hammer blow as England lost another of their own line-outs and the impressive Vincent Clerc danced around the defence to score.

And, with just half an hour gone, England were as good as out. Alexis Palisson evaded the attention of three tacklers and fed Maxime Medard who had the simple job of diving over for 16-0.

England emerged from the dressing room for the second half knowing that it could hardly go any worse and, indeed, the 2003 champions finally built up a head of steam which resulted in Ben Foden scoring.

Wilkinson converted for perhaps his last points in international rugby as England reduced the deficit to 16-7.

However, the next spell of pressure came from France again after Tuilagi knocked on in his own 22.

Indeed, the French put the England defence under severe strain before settling for the drop goal, slotted over neatly by Yachvili's replacement Fracois Trinh-Duc.

That made it 19-7 and so England were two converted scores away from winning the tie with just 10 minutes left.

Typically, England teased and made a slight suggestion that they could pull of a ridiculously miraculous escape when Mark Cueto just managed to ground the ball over the line.

The decision went to the video referee, almost four years on from when Cueto had been denied a try in the final having been adjudged to be out of play.

Cueto was given the benefit of the doubt this time but it made no odds as another knock-on at the restart put paid to any chance of a comeback.

England were out, and deservedly so, failing to reach the last four for just the second time.

By contrast, Wales were rewarded for continuing with their positive approach by reaching the World Cup semi finals for the first time in 24 years.

Warren Gatland's men beat Ireland 22-10 in a pulsating northern hemisphere match in Wellington thanks to tries by Shane Williams, Mike Phillips and Jonathan Davies.

The Welsh got the early breakthrough to settle any nerves when Williams went over in the corner after just three minutes.

Ireland responded well, kicking for the corner in a bid to restore parity rather than allowing Ronan O'Gara to kick for the posts until later in half.

But the Welsh held firm against the Irish pack and, even when O'Gara eventually did kick successfully to make it 7-3, Leigh Halfpenny restored the seven-point lead within a couple of minutes.

Soon after half time, though, the advantage was gone as Ireland drew first blood in the second period when Munster's Keith Earls went over next to the flag.

It was all to play for now but, having got themselves back on terms, the Irish were sucker-punched by two more Welsh tries.

First, Phillips eluded Gordon D'Arcey before ensuring his score with swallow dive in the corner.

Then, just past the hour, Davies broke through the defence for a simple try which Rhys Priestland converted to make it 22-10.

That is how it stayed as Ireland struggled to make much headway against the excellent Welsh defence who are sure to provide more resistance to France than England did.


THE other semi final is an antipodean affair as hosts New Zealand continue in their quest for a first World Cup in 24 years by taking on twice-winners Australia.

However, only the South Africans will know why their defence of the William Webb Ellis trophy did not extend beyond their last eight match with Australia in Wellington.

Incredibly, the Springboks failed to cross the line once despite dominating possession and enjoying 76% territory throughout the match.

This was truly one of the most remarkable Australian sporting victories and a tribute to the Wallabies' never-say-die spirit.

Robbie Deans' men were given something to hold on as James Horwill scored an early try and then induced a penalty from which James O'Connor made it 8-0.

David Pocock was instrumental in keeping the Aussies ahead for as long as he did but Morne Steyn did at least get the Springboks on the board before half-time with a regulation penalty.

South Africa continued to dominate after the break and Jean De Villiers looked to have set Patrick Lambie away for a try but Kiwi ref Bryce Lawrence pulled it back for a forward pass.

Then, shortly afterwards, Steyn struck his second penalty before landing a drop goal to give the holders a 9-8 lead.

However, the Boks perhaps knew it was not to be their day when O'Connor restored the Wallabies' narrow advantage with a brilliant kick from the touchline after an infringement at a line-out.

Only 10 more minutes of rearguard action were required by Australia as they somehow scrambled through to their fifth World Cup semi final.

South Africa were left to wonder what might have been, though their coach Peter De Villiers was defiant in his post-match press conference.

And, just for a while, it looked like New Zealander Graham Henry would also have to explain the inexplicable as Argentina went 7-6 ahead after 30 minutes of the fourth quarter final.

The All Blacks were unsurprisingly dominant in the early stages with Kieran Reid just forced into touch before he could score.

However, the hosts only had two Piri Weepu penalties to show as the Argentines hung tough and waited for their chance.

It came after half an hour as Julio Farias Cabello broke over the line while the Kiwi defence were still dealing with the initial break.

But the Pumas were unable to see out their advantage until half-time as Weepu made it 12-7 with another two kicks.

Argentina continued to frustrate New Zealand in the first part of the second half as Marcelo Bosch made good with a huge kick from the halfway line.

Weepu kept the scoreboard ticking over the All Blacks, though, with another couple of penalties before, late on, the breakthrough came at last.

Read, who was denied in the first half, scored the try, finishing in the corner after taking Jerome Kaino's flicked pass which Martin Rodriguez flailing arm had only just failed to intercept.

And, after another Weepu penalty, the All Blacks made sure of their place in the last four for a sixth time as Brad Thorn scored easily to make it 33-10.

The Argentines were out on their feet and New Zealand briefly threatened a further try but this would have given the final score a somewhat unfair reflection.

Nevertheless, despite their early struggles, the All Blacks were deserving winners for, although their tries came late, Read and captain Richie McCaw had both gone ever so close earlier on.

Mils Muliaina joined McCaw on 100 caps but then retired after fracturing his shoulder as injuries continue to plague the Kiwis' campaign.

The fact that the ABs are already without record points scorer Dan Carter will give hope to the Wallabies that they can pull off an upset.

But, at the same time, it is impossible not to imagine New Zealand making a breakthrough against Australia, no matter how well the Aussies defend again.

Prediction: New Zealand bt Australia, Wales bt France. New Zealand v Wales in the Final.

QUARTER FINALS RESULTS

Date		Venue	Tries
Sat 8 Oct	IRELAND 10-22 WALES	Wellington	1-3
Sat 8 Oct	ENGLAND 12-19 FRANCE	Eden Park, Auckland	2-2
Sun 9 Oct	SOUTH AFRICA 9-11 AUSTRALIA	Wellington	0-1
Sun 9 Oct	NEW ZEALAND 33-10 ARGENTINA	Eden Park, Auckland	2-1

Euro 2012 qualifiers: Rooney sees red as England qualify

ENGLAND qualified for the Euro 2012 finals in Poland and Ukraine after early goals from Ashley Young and Darren Bent secured a 2-2 draw against Montenegro.

The good news ends there, though - and, on the second half performance, England will do well to play any more than their three group games next summer.

Worst of all tonight, Wayne Rooney 'earned' a deserved second international red card - and a ban which will extend into the summer tournament - after an impetuous kick.

Meanwhile, Rooney's team mates let themselves down by contriving to concede a goal at the end of both halves to lose a 2-0 lead.

On the stroke of half time, Elsad Zverotic was given too much space on the edge of the box and then, in stoppage time, Andrija Delibasic headed an equaliser, sparking off a wild, celebratory invasion of the soaked Podgorica pitch.

Montenegro had done it - the tiny Balkan nation, with a population of 625,000, had securing an unlikely playoff spot from Group G.

And it was no more than they had deserved having launched a succession of second half attacks on the England goal, undoubtedly buoyed by the fact that rivals Switzerland were surprisingly losing 2-0 in Wales.

However, such an outcome looked impossible after all-but the last attack of a first half which England had completed controlled.

Fabio Capello's men took the lead on 10 minutes when a delicious cross from Theo Walcott gave Young an unmissable header.

Then, just past the half hour mark, Young turned provider after crossing from the left to give Bent an equally simple finish.

But, from that point onwards, it all went horribly wrong for the Three Lions - and particularly badly for Rooney.

His brainless swipe at Miodrag Dzudovic on the halfway line completed a terrible week, coming just days after his father was arrested as part of a probe into betting irregularities.

Rooney senior's arrest specifically related to a sending off in a Scottish Premier League match and, inevitably, it was joked that he had been at it again tonight.

This was no laughing matter for Capello, though, as he is now deprived of his talisman for part of the finals campaign.

At least, England have got there this time after the haunting failure to qualify for the last European Championships under recently-deposed Nottingham Forest boss Steve McClaren.

Indeed, the Three Lions finished the group unbeaten with five wins and three draws from their eight games and so perhaps my earlier assessment was harsh.

Then again, Capello's men qualified for the World Cup convincingly but thoroughly failed to impress in the finals in South Africa.

And, of course, this time, they cannot rely on getting Algeria and Slovenia in their group in their quest to scrape it through to the knockout stages.

England are no way in a position to get ahead of themselves and their qualification summed up perfectly exactly the sort of team which they currently are. Underwhelming.

QUALIFIED TEAMS:
Poland (co-hosts), Ukraine (co-hosts), Germany, Netherlands, Italy, Spain (holders), England

EURO 2012 FIXTURES
7 October 2011

GROUP A
Germany, who sealed qualification to Euro 2012 last month, continued their 100% record in qualification with a 3-1 win over Turkey. Goals from Mario Gomez, Thomas Mueller and Bastian Schweinsteiger made it nine wins out of nine for the Nationalmannschaft. Manchester City's Vincent Kompany was among the scorers as Belgium took advantage of the Turks' defeat by recording an easy home win over Kazakhstan.
That win puts the Belgians a point clear of Turkey in the race for the playoff spot - however, Belgium face Germany away in the final qualifier while Turkey play at home to Azerbaijan and they also have a better head-to-head record.
Azerbaijan 1-4 Austria
Belgium 4-1 Kazakhstan
Turkey 1-3 Germany

GROUP B
Russia took full control of Group B after Alan Dzagoev scored the only goal in a tight match against Slovakia in Zilina. The Russians now need only avoid defeat at home to Andorra and they will be into next year's finals; meanwhile, Slovakia's dreams of a second successive major championships are over.
Assuming Russia qualify top, then the playoff spot is settled by what is effectively in itself a playoff as Republic of Ireland host Armenia in Dublin, requiring just a draw to make it through. Both teams go into the game on the back of a positive result. Early goals from Kevin Doyle and Aiden McGeady were enough for the Irish to beat Andorra 2-0 while the Armenians struck four past FYR Macedonia.
Andorra 0-2 Republic of Ireland
Armenia 4-1 FYR Macedonia
Slovakia 0-1 Russia

GROUP C
Estonia completed the double over Northern Ireland to give themselves a feasible chance of making it to the Euro 2012 playoffs. Konstantin Vassiljev scored a late double as the Estonians came from behind to inflict more pain on the Northern Irish. Nigel Worthington's men were humiliated in a 4-1 loss in Tallinn last month, and it is difficult to see how much longer he can continue in his role after yet another defeat.
Estonia, who are currently in second place on 16 points, have now completed their programme. Serbia are just a point behind with a game in hand but they will require a win over Slovenia in their final match due to their worse head-to-head record after Estonia won 3-1 in Belgrade.
The Serbs will be confident, though, after Chelsea's Branislav Ivanovic helped them to a 1-1 draw at home to unbeaten group winners Italy. Claudio Marchisio had given the Azzurri an early lead.
Northern Ireland 1-2 Estonia
Serbia 1-1 Italy

GROUP D
Edin Dzeko and Florent Malouda both scored as Bosnia-Herzegovina and France enjoyed comfortable wins to set up a dramatic group decider in Paris in four days' time. As well as enjoying home advantage, Les Bleus also hold a one-point lead at the top of Group D meaning they only need to avoid defeat to qualify.
The loser of this head-to-head battle will definitely finish in second place in the group after Romania could only draw at home to Belarus despite two goals from Adrian Mutu.
Bosnia-Herzegovina 5-0 Luxembourg
France 3-0 Albania
Romania 2-2 Belarus

GROUP E
Netherlands, who had already qualified last month as a best runner-up at least, have now won Group E - though it is fair to say their 1-0 home win over Moldova was no classic. Nevertheless, the three points ensured the Dutch retained their 100% record while Klaas-Jan Huntelaar extended his lead at the top of the goalscoring charts with his 11th goal in qualifying.
Sunderland's Sebastian Larsson and Blackburn Rovers' Martin Olsson were on target as Sweden scored early goals in both halves to secure the runners-up spot with a 2-1 win over Finland.
Finland 1-2 Sweden
Netherlands 1-0 Moldova

GROUP F
Georgios Samaras and Theofanis Gekas are the toast of Athens as they scored late goals in Greece's 2-0 home win over group rivals Croatia. The Croatians had held a two-point lead going into the match but the unbeaten Greeks have now overturned it and they hold a one-point lead of their own after the late surge.
The home win also means Greece now hold a better head-to-head record so Croatia will need to beat Latvia to take advantage of a Greek tragedy in Georgia.
Greece 2-0 Croatia
Latvia 2-0 Malta

GROUP G
England secured their place in the European Championship finals for an eighth time but they produced another worrying performance in Podgorica against Montenegro. It all started well enough with goals from Ashley Young and Darren Bent but the game changed in Montenegro's favour when Elsad Zverotic scored on the stroke of half time. Wayne Rooney was then stupidly sent off before Andrija Delibasic headed an injury time equaliser for the hosts.
That goal ensures the tiny Balkan state has made it into the playoffs after their only rivals for second place, Switzerland, lost disappointingly against Gary Speed's rejuvenated Wales in Swansea. Aaron Ramsey's penalty and a rasping left-foot drive by Gareth Bale gave the Welsh a deserved win and helped them off the bottom of the group. The wooden spoon decider will take place against Bulgaria in Sofia in four days.
Montenegro 2-2 England
Wales 2-0 Switzerland

GROUP H
Portugal were involved in their second eight-goal thriller of the qualifying campaign as they beat Iceland 5-3 in Porto to stay top of Group H on 16 points.
Manchester United winger Nani scored the first two goals for the Portuguese who were 3-0 up at half-time before their lead was reduced to 3-2 early in the second half. Joao Moutinho and Eliseu scored late goals to make it 5-2 before former Reading midfielder Gylfi Sigurdsson completed the scoring in stoppage time.
Portugal drew 4-4 earlier in the campaign with Cyprus but it is another previous match, the 3-1 victory over Denmark, which puts them top as the Danes are also on 16 points after their easy 4-1 win over Cyprus. Dennis Rommedahl scored twice as Denmark led 4-0 inside 22 minutes before stepping off the gas. A winner-takes-all clash between Denmark and Portugal takes place in Copenhagen on Tuesday, the Portuguese will qualify with just a point.
Cyprus 1-4 Denmark
Portugal 5-3 Iceland

GROUP I
European Championship holders and Group I winners Spain kept their 100% record and did Scotland a huge favour as first half goals from midfielders Juan Mata and Xabi Alonso showed Vincent del Bosque's men could easily cope despite the absences of key men Andres Iniesta and Cesc Fabregas. A 2-0 win over Czech Republic in Prague means Scotland can - and should - go second in the group as long as they can find a way past Liechtenstein on Saturday.
The Scots' only problem then is that the last fixtures on Tuesday pit them against the Spanish while the Czechs go to Lithuania. The most realistic scenario that sees Scotland reach the playoffs is if they beat Liechtenstein and the Czechs lose in Lithuania, rendering the Scots' result in Alicante as irrelevant. 
Czech Republic 0-2 Spain
Liechtenstein 0-1 Scotland

Cat fight overshadows Conservative conference

A DRAB conference season from all of the parties briefly sparked into life thanks to an extraordinary spat between two ministers over an asylum seeker with a cat.

Home Secretary Theresa May was first to unleash her claws at the Conservative conference in Manchester.

She used her speech to deride the Human Rights Act and claimed it had saved a South American man from deportation "because - and I am not making this up - he had a pet cat".

Mrs May was treading a dangerous line - surely her script-writers should have worked out that such a ridiculous claim would not stand up to scrutiny.

Indeed, it was unsurprisingly soon rebuffed by top judges from the Judicial Communications Office and Mrs May's Conservative colleague, the Justice Secretary Ken Clarke.

But, despite scorn being cast upon her comments, Mrs May had still done enough to play to the gallery who lapped it up gleefully.

And Mr Clarke, who has always cut a rather controversial and sometimes lonely figure with his pro-Europe stance in a largely Eurosceptic party, was also rebuked by Prime Minister David Cameron in his keynote speech.

Mr Cameron, who was, in fairness, attempting to make light of the issue, referred to the fact that he had been involved in recording audio books for the blind as part of a social project being run at the conference.

He said: "There was one book that I chose personally. I said 'Ken, this one's called Crime And Punishment and I want you to read it, twice'."

That appeared to be a slight on Mr Clarke's generally softer stance to sentencing than most of his party and, indeed, some of those on the opposition benches.

However, on a separate issue, Foreign Secretary William Hague was unable to appease the Tory right as the party's divisions over Europe continued to bubble under the surface.

Mr Hague ruled out a referendum on Britain's membership to the European Union, arguing one would be called only to approve or reject further transfers of sovereignty. "Our place is in the European Union," he said.

Nevertheless, this still did not stop the rather one-eyed populist press from claiming a breakthrough - most notably, here in the Daily Mail, and here in the Daily Express.

But those on the Tory right knew where they really stood after Mr Hague's speech, and some inevitably grumbled about taking their vote to UKIP instead.

Of course, although the number of defectors may actually be small, the issue of Europe still leaves Mr Cameron in a political quandary.

Does he pander to the right in league with the tabloid press or does he continue to alienate them and risk failing again to get an outright majority at the next general election?

For now, the coalition with the Liberal Democrats forces Mr Cameron's hand in that he must do the latter.

And, as the world economy dives into perhaps "the worst financial crisis in history", there seems much about Mr Cameron's premiership which is - frustratingly for him - outside of his control.

Certainly, when he launched his election manifesto over 18 months ago on Westminster Bridge, his vision of a Big Society was at the forefront of his objectives.

Now, in power, he seemingly faces a daily battle just to stop society from falling apart and so it is to his credit then that his approval rating remains as 'high' as it does.

In YouGov's weekly poll for the Sunday Times, Mr Cameron's rating is steady at -8, well ahead of Labour leader Ed Miliband who is on -32.

Similarly, the same report by Populus for Lord Ashcroft, 'The Leadership Factor' - which labelled Mr Miliband as "weird" - was much kinder to Mr Cameron whom the general public consider to be "determined" and "competent".

However, none of the party leaders scored particularly highly when people were asked who had the best policies on a wide-range of issues.

Of the ten areas selected, the 'none of the above' party led in eight with the Tories leading only in two categories - cutting the deficit and reforming welfare.

And so, while Mr Cameron is more well-liked than Mr Miliband, you would be hard-pushed still to argue that the current Prime Minister has widespread popular appeal.

Next year marks the 20th anniversary since the Conservatives last won an outright majority at a general election.

Once considered the natural party of government, Lib Dem MP Simon Hughes recently pointed out: "The Tory party is absolutely not the dominant force in British politics that it used to be."

As the UK Polling Report website notes, Mr Cameron and his party still have an image problem in vast swathes of the country up north.

Indeed, in some areas, the spectre of Thatcherism is so toxic that it is hard to see, now over 20 years on, the Tories ever recovering their ground.

This continued lack of presence in the north is especially problematic for the Conservatives as the retained first past the post system requires them still to win yet more seats to gain a majority.

Even accounting for the collapse in the Lib Dem vote, the rise of the Scottish Nationalists and the overall representation of other parties may still prevent there being a decisive result.

As the Britain Votes blog explains: "At the 2010 general election, 86 seats were won by parties other than Labour or the Conservatives.

"The result of that is, whichever of Britain's two major political parties comes out on top, they need to beat the other by 88 seats just to get a majority of two"

"The Conservatives' 48 seat advantage over Labour last year would have given them a majority in all post-war elections up until 1997.

"Instead, [Mr] Cameron ended up 20 seats shy, and more like 40 short of a workable majority. The worrying conclusion from all this is that Britain could be heading towards a state of perpetual hung parliament."

Of course, Mr Cameron was not slow in congratulating the work of the campaigners who argued against the Alternative Vote - it was, in fact, the second item of his speech.

What delicious irony it would be if the retained ever-so reliable old system can only provide us with another stalemate in 2015!

Perpetual hung parliament under first past the post? That would really set the cat among the pigeons.

Rugby World Cup 2011: England break Scotland's brave hearts

QUARTER FINALS DRAW
All matches live on ITV1

Date		Venue	Tries
Sat 8 Oct	IRELAND 10-22 WALES	Wellington	1-3
Sat 8 Oct	ENGLAND 12-19 FRANCE	Eden Park, Auckland	2-2
Sun 9 Oct	SOUTH AFRICA 9-11 AUSTRALIA	Wellington	0-1
Sun 9 Oct	NEW ZEALAND 33-10 ARGENTINA	Eden Park, Auckland	2-1

A LATE try by Chris Ashton ended Scotland's World Cup hopes and took England into the quarter finals after a 16-12 win in Auckland.

Scotland enjoyed a promising 9-3 lead at half time in a match which they needed to win by eight clear points to stand a realistic chance of progression.

But the failure to score a single try against either England or Argentina proved to be decisive when Ashton crossed the line with just two minutes left.

England, then, make it into the quarter finals on the back of four straight wins - but it has hardly been smooth going so far for Martin Johnson's men in New Zealand.

A lack of discipline, both on and off the field, has threatened to derail England's bid to make to a third straight World Cup Final.

There are also concerns about Jonny Wilkinson's under-par kicking form, with his success rate falling below 50%, and his fitness alongside that of Mike Tindall.

At least, England's quarter final match-up has pitted them, as expected, against France who have been in even worse shape, losing two of their four fixtures so far.

The first defeat, to New Zealand, would have been generally more acceptable if they had not collapsed so feebly inside 20 minutes having controlled the opening spell of possession and territory.

However, there are really no excuses for the other loss to Tonga in which even a last-minute Vincent Clerc try could not hide Gallic embarrassment.

Of course, it has been known in the past for the French to surprise when it is least expected - and England will need to be wary of that - but there seems to be little faith in Marc Lievremont's ever-changing selections.

Elsewhere, the draw ensures there will be two representatives from the northern hemisphere in the semi finals with the impressive Irish - looking for a first ever appearance in the last four - taking on Wales, who have not reached that stage since 1987.

Indeed, Ireland produced the biggest result of the Pool stage, and totally upset the balance of the tournament, by ripping up the form book to beat Australia 15-6.

In an abrasive kicking game, played in dreadful weather, Ireland eventually gained the upper hand thanks to two second half penalties by Ronan O'Gara.

And so Tri-Nations champions Australia had to settle for second place while the Irish, who had lost all four of their warm-up games, won all four of their Pool matches.

But, despite their good form, Ireland will know they are in for a tough test against Wales who would have won their own section if they could have held out in the last quarter of the game against South Africa.

Nevertheless, the Welsh were not downhearted by their narrow failure, refusing to panic as they edged past Samoa before turning on the style against Namibia in a record win.

Warren Gatland's side then finished the Pool stages by beating Fiji 66-0 to record 23 tries from their four matches, a figure beaten only by Australia (25) and New Zealand (36).

The All Blacks were by far and away the best all-round side in the Pool Stages, giving none of their opponents the sniff of a chance with a series of dominant performances.

Even France came nowhere near to matching Graham Henry's team - after a brief nine-minute opening sortie - as New Zealand got early revenge for their shock quarter final exit four years ago.

The ABs have since been rocked by injury woes with record international points scorer, fly-half Dan Carter, ruled out of the rest of the tournament with a groin strain.

His deputy, Colin Slade, looked nervous at times when called upon during the Pool stages and it will be fascinating to see how the 23-year-old deals with the pressure.

It hardly helps that the favourites have been dumped into the more difficult side of the draw through no fault of their own - they can blame Australia's slip-up to Ireland for that.

But what it does mean, of course, is that if New Zealand do eventually end their 24-year wait for the William Webb Ellis trophy, no one can suggest they do not deserve it.

First, though, the ABs should be comfortable in dealing with the modest threat of Argentina who only reached this stage thanks to a one-point win over Scotland.

The Argentines are nothing like the threat of four years ago and scored just 10 tries in their four matches so far as compared to the New Zealanders' 36. There should be a similar imbalance in the final score of this last eight match.

That leaves just one game as defending champions South Africa take on Australia, which looks a much closer call.

Robbie Deans' Wallabies may have flopped in the Pool stages against Ireland but they still got through and have recent memories of beating South Africa convincingly in the Tri-Nations.

Meanwhile, though the Springboks have won all four of their games so far, they did not had it all their own way against Wales or Samoa, the two stronger sides in their Pool.

In worse news for the holders, they have lost centre Frans Steyn to injury while Australia welcome back the influential David Pocock.

But, while Bryan Habana is around hoping to extend his lead as South Africa's record try scorer, the Boks will remain as dangerous as ever.


GOING HOME: FIRST ROUND FALLERS
Pool A
Tonga must be cursing their 25-20 defeat to Canada, which meant their incredible 19-14 victory over the shambolic French counted for nought. A win against the Canadians would have taken the Tongans through at France's expense but two tries in the last 12 minutes gave the North Americans the win.
Canada's never-say-die attitude was a theme of their play as they scored late again to sneak a 23-23 draw against Japan. The Japanese, who will host the 2019 tournament, were disappointing and finished bottom.

Pool B
Toothless Scotland failed to score a try against either England or Argentina, and only managed four tries overall, as they went out of the Pool stages of a World Cup for the first time ever. The Scots held the lead late on in both of those vital matches but their lack of cutting edge meant they could not pull clear and see it through.
Even against the minnows - Georgia and Romania - Scotland toiled, winning those matches 15-6 and 34-24 respectively. Georgia easily beat Romania in their basement tussle to confirm their status as Europe's best team outside of the Six Nations.

Pool C
Italy failed to turn up on the big occasions as they extended their woeful record of never having progressed from the Pool stages to seven World Cups. At 6-6 at half-time against Australia, it looked like the Azzurri were in good shape to challenge the top two but the Wallabies blew Nick Mallett's men away in the second half, eventually winning 32-6. Of course, Ireland's incredible win over the Australians opened the group back up and gave the Italians another chance of progression against the Irish but another second half collapse saw Italy defeated 36-6, having only been 9-6 behind at the break.
The USA will have been relieved to beat Russia in their second match in four days, having played well but ultimately gone down to a 22-10 defeat to Ireland on the 10th anniversary of 9/11. Otherwise, this was an unremarkable tournament for the Americans who managed just four tries throughout. The Russians scored double that number and generally attacked well on their World Cup finals debut. However, on the other side of the coin, they shipped almost 200 points and lost all four of their games.

Pool D
Samoa gave both Wales and South Africa a scare, leading 10-6 at half-time against the Welsh until Shane Williams scored a try 15 minutes from the end to turn the match around. And, although Samoa never held the lead against the Springboks, they finished the tournament on a high by reducing South Africa's 13-0 half-time advantage to 13-5 by the end - a missed conversion costing them a merited losing bonus point.
But, while Samoa gave their usual good account of themselves, this tournament did not feature a vintage Fiji team - far from it, in fact. After the expected opening victory over Namibia, the Fijians then went on to lose their other three matches with the 49-3 defeat to South Africa and 66-0 shutout against Wales particularly painful. Namibia came into the tournament as the lowest-ranked team - and it showed as they conceded 49 points to both Samoa and Fiji before shipping 87 without reply to South Africa and losing 81-7 in Wales' record World Cup win.


RUGBY WORLD CUP 2011: FIRST ROUND RESULTS/TABLES

POOL A

TV	Date		Venue
ITV1	Fri 09 Sep	NEW ZEALAND 41-10 TONGA	Eden Park, Auckland
ITV1	Sat 10 Sep	FRANCE 47-21 JAPAN	North Harbour, Auckland
ITV4	Wed 14 Sep	TONGA 20-25 CANADA	Whangarei
ITV1	Fri 16 Sep	NEW ZEALAND 83-7 JAPAN	Hamilton
ITV1	Sun 18 Sep	FRANCE 46-19 CANADA	Napier
ITV4	Wed 21 Sep	TONGA 31-18 JAPAN	Whangarei
ITV1	Sat 24 Sep	NEW ZEALAND 37-17 FRANCE	Eden Park, Auckland
ITV4	Tue 27 Sep	CANADA 23-23 JAPAN	Napier
ITV1	Sat 1 Oct	FRANCE 14-19 TONGA	Wellington
ITV1	Sun 2 Oct	NEW ZEALAND 79-15 CANADA	Wellington

Pool A Table	W	D	L	F	A	Tries	Pts
Q NEW ZEALAND	4	0	0	240	49	36	20
Q FRANCE	2	0	2	124	96	15	11
TONGA	2	0	2	80	98	7	9
CANADA	1	1	2	82	168	9	6
JAPAN	0	1	3	69	184	8	2

POOL B

TV	Date		Venue
ITV1	Sat 10 Sep	SCOTLAND 34-24 ROMANIA	Invercargill
ITV1	Sat 10 Sep	ENGLAND 13-9 ARGENTINA	Dunedin
ITV1	Wed 14 Sep	SCOTLAND 15-6 GEORGIA	Invercargill
ITV1	Sat 17 Sep	ARGENTINA 43-8 ROMANIA	Invercargill
ITV1	Sun 18 Sep	ENGLAND 41-10 GEORGIA	Dunedin
ITV1	Sat 24 Sep	ENGLAND 67-3 ROMANIA	Dunedin
ITV1	Sun 25 Sep	ARGENTINA 13-12 SCOTLAND	Wellington
ITV4	Wed 28 Sep	GEORGIA 25-9 ROMANIA	Napier
ITV1	Sat 1 Oct	ENGLAND 16-12 SCOTLAND	Eden Park, Auckland
ITV1	Sun 2 Oct	ARGENTINA 25-7 GEORGIA	Palmerston North

Pool B Table	W	L	F	A	Tries	Pts
Q ENGLAND	4	0	137	34	18	18
Q ARGENTINA	3	1	90	40	10	14
SCOTLAND	2	2	73	59	4	11
GEORGIA	1	3	48	90	3	4
ROMANIA	0	4	44	169	3	0

POOL C

TV	Date		Venue
ITV1	Sun 11 Sep	AUSTRALIA 32-6 ITALY	North Harbour, Auckland
ITV1	Sun 11 Sep	IRELAND 22-10 UNITED STATES	New Plymouth
ITV4	Thu 15 Sep	RUSSIA 6-13 UNITED STATES	New Plymouth
ITV1	Sat 17 Sep	AUSTRALIA 6-15 IRELAND	Eden Park, Auckland
ITV4	Tue 20 Sep	ITALY 53-17 RUSSIA	Nelson
ITV1	Fri 23 Sep	AUSTRALIA 67-5 UNITED STATES	Wellington
ITV1	Sun 25 Sep	IRELAND 62-12 RUSSIA	Rotorua
ITV4	Tue 27 Sep	ITALY 27-10 UNITED STATES	Nelson
ITV1	Sat 1 Oct	AUSTRALIA 68-22 RUSSIA	Nelson
ITV1	Sun 2 Oct	IRELAND 36-6 ITALY	Dunedin

Pool C Table	W	L	F	A	Tries	Pts
Q IRELAND	4	0	135	34	15	17
Q AUSTRALIA	3	1	173	48	25	15
ITALY	2	2	92	95	13	10
UNITED STATES	1	3	38	122	4	4
RUSSIA	0	4	57	196	8	1

POOL D

TV	Date		Venue
ITV1	Sat 10 Sep	FIJI 49-25 NAMIBIA	Rotorua
ITV1	Sun 11 Sep	SOUTH AFRICA 17-16 WALES	Wellington
ITV1	Wed 14 Sep	SAMOA 49-12 NAMIBIA	Rotorua
ITV1	Sat 17 Sep	SOUTH AFRICA 49-3 FIJI	Wellington
ITV1	Sun 18 Sep	WALES 17-10 SAMOA	Hamilton
ITV4	Thu 22 Sep	SOUTH AFRICA 87-0 NAMIBIA	North Harbour, Auckland
ITV1	Sun 25 Sep	FIJI 7-27 SAMOA	Eden Park, Auckland
ITV1	Mon 26 Sep	WALES 81-7 NAMIBIA	New Plymouth
ITV4	Fri 30 Sep	SOUTH AFRICA 13-5 SAMOA	North Harbour, Auckland
ITV1	Sun 2 Oct	WALES 66-0 FIJI	Hamilton

Pool D Table	W	L	F	A	Tries	Pts
Q SOUTH AFRICA	4	0	166	24	21	18
Q WALES	3	1	180	34	23	15
SAMOA	2	2	91	49	9	10
FIJI	1	3	59	167	7	5
NAMIBIA	0	4	44	266	5	0