The drive to succeed?

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

Franklin D Roosevelt (32nd President of the United States, 1933-1945) in his First Inaugural Address

A sad realisation is slowly dawning upon myself as I spend another day unemployed.

I worry my journalism dream might be over before it's even begun unless I gain some much-needed confidence.

It is now over six weeks since I finished the NCTJ course at Darlington College and yet I am no nearer to breaking into the industry.

In that time, there have only been four advertisements for trainee reporters on the HoldTheFrontPage website - at the Southend Echo, the Berwickshire News, the Brighton Argus and the Exmouth Journal.

This is despite the fact I passed all of the preliminary exams and invested a lot of my time to ensure I did so first time. I got my 100 words per minute shorthand and enjoyed my work experience at the Whitley Bay News Guardian and News Post Leader.

But the one thing that is evidently holding me back is the fact I can't drive.

In a way, it is no surprise I was rejected even without interview when three of the four advertisements stipulated that a full licence was required.

And while passing my driving test won't guarantee me a job, of course, it will give editors one less reason to toss my application in the bin.

I've held a provisional licence since 2006 when I stalled my way through six hours of ill-fated tuition before giving up, having not even managed the basics.

But on March 13 this year, after a week of studying, I passed the DSA Theory Test. Since then, however, I have not taken any practical lessons and it will not surprise anybody that I feel no more capable of driving a car now than I did a month ago.

I have planned to complete an intensive course, partly because I need a full licence on my CV asap but also just to get it out the way.

But a major reason I have yet to do this is because of fear.

Not nerves, but real pit-of-the-stomach fear that I might cause an accident or that the lessons will move to fast - or I will spend a significant outlay and still barely manage the basics.

I guess this intrepid reporter is not so intrepid after all.

Next week, I will receive an inheritance from my Nanna following the sale of her flat. The money should be enough to cover the cost of an intensive course, although it is not clear whether it will also extend to getting insured on my sister's car as I would appreciate a starter lesson from her first.

I suppose it's down to me to Just Do It, to borrow a phrase from Nike, but standing in my way remains this barely-logical, sickening feeling of fear.