Thursday 7 May 2009

The Apprentice - series 5, ep 7: Cocky Philip finds it grim back up north

Cocky Philip's attitude proved to be his undoing as he was fired by Sir Alan having failed to sell anything in the latest task.

The candidate from County Durham once again clashed with Lorraine but she held the upper hand having made more sales in a woeful overall performance by Ignite.

Sir Alan had tricked the teams into thinking that they were going abroad by asking them to pack an overnight bag and meet him at the London Gateway.

Ben packed his swimming shorts, flip flops and sunglasses in anticipation of soaking up the sun while Philip drooled over the prospect of seeing some "bikini babes".

But London Gateway turned out to be a service station on the M1 motorway and instead the teams were heading north to Manchester and Liverpool.

Once there, they had to select two products from a range of 12 and then sell them to stores in the North West with two pitches already set up by Sir Alan on day one.

Sir Alan moved Mona and Howard to Empire with Ben and Yasmina going in the other direction.

Mona, who lost as project manager in week one, gained the approval of her new Empire team mates to lead this task.

And Lorraine stepped up for Ignite, having not been a project manager previously.

For once, Lorraine's instincts, which had previously served her so well, let her down.

She turned down the 'Lovers' Lead' - a two-handled dog lead - in favour of the 'Cat Playhouse', which were effectively cardboard boxes decorated as an airplane, tank and fire engine.

Ignite also put their faith in the 'POD', a bag to carry shopping on the back of a bicycle.

Empire decided to go with the aforementioned 'Lovers' Lead' and a 'Silk Bag', a full-body sleeping bag with separate sections for arms and legs.

As the teams arrived at the first of the pitches arranged by Sir Alan - a hardware store in Liverpool - both of them started to realise the limitations of their products.

Ignite's 'POD' was criticised by the store manager for unbalancing the bicycle - to which Yasmina oddly suggested two bags would need to be bought to even the weight distribution.

Lorraine and Yasmina were even more wide of the mark when they tried to get the hardware store to buy 5-6,000 'Cat Playhouses'.

At Empire, Debra and Howard struggled to convince the hardware store of the use of their 'Lovers' Lead'.

And the store manager was stunned by their attempt to suggest selling the sleeping bag for £89.

At the second pitch arranged by Sir Alan - a designer home store in Manchester - Empire continued to make little headway.

Their sleeping bag, in particular, failed to fit in with the store's values.

But, over at Ignite, matters improved a little with the designer home store considering an order for both the 'POD' and the 'Cat Playhouse'.

Not the other half of Ignite were doing so well with Philip, Kate and Ben managing to secure just one pitch for day two.

That pitch was at a cycle superstore in Chester but it met a dead end even though Philip went so far as to demonstrate how the 'POD' would work on a bike.

Ben looked as if he might have improved Ignite's chances by fixing up a meeting with the UK's biggest pet retailer.

But, having squabbled over who should lead the pitch, Lorraine and Yasmina still went in with totally unrealistic expectations and thought they could sell up to 20,000 'Cat Playhouses'.

The retailer ended up agreeing to 50 and no more.

But that was still more than the sub team of Philip, Kate and Ben - all three went all day without selling anything.

Sir Alan's aide Nick Hewer said: "Frankly, returning to London with no sales is a bit like the three of them popping into that cat plane and taking off to join the Battle of Britain.

"They haven't got a chance."

Empire did rather better at the same pet retailer, with Debra and Howard securing 200 orders for the 'Lovers' Lead'.

And the 'Silk Bag' sleeping bag was at least shown to be able to sell to camping stores.

It all added up to a clear victory for Empire who made £4501 from their orders while Ignite made just £1302, none of which had come from Philip, Kate or Ben.

And so, while Empire enjoyed a VIP ride in a Rolls Royce helicopter over London at sunset, Ignite were summoned back to see Sir Alan.

In the boardroom, Philip made the audacious claim that he, Kate and Ben were the three best salespeople on their team despite none of them managing to make a single sale.

By contrast, Lorraine, who made £807 in sales, and Yasmina, who made £495, sold at four of their five pitches.

Ben defended his record on the task, having managed to fix up the appointment with the pet retailer.

And Sir Alan criticised Lorraine and Yasmina for their wildly ambitious pitches.

It was Philip, though, who continued to act like a drama queen, criticising Lorraine for her over-reliance on instinct and revelling in the fact she had got it wrong this time.

Sir Alan made it clear he was not impressed and warned that up to three candidates could be fired as Lorraine brought Philip and Kate back into the boardroom.

He started by attacking Philip for putting on his resume that he is "arrogant, cocky, stubborn and a control-freak", and questioned if he needed people like that in his business.

But he also questioned if he needed Lorraine who had admitted herself that she was a "slow burner in the thought process".

Sir Alan also suggested that she had alienated the other team members from herself.

Lorraine defended herself based on her sales but struck a low blow when suggesting the growing relationship between Philip and Kate had affected their work.

This was a surprising, almost Machiavellian move, which appalled Kate in particular.

But it was Philip who turned the attention on himself even more when he attempted to defend his recent record.

Of course, he soon piped down when Nick Hewer reminded him of 'Pantsman'.

And Sir Alan played down Philip's victory in last week's task, saying he won by default after making a smaller loss than the opponents.

Sir Alan accused Kate of going from "hero to zero" but accepted that her previous performance had meant this was her first boardroom appearance.

But he had little such sympathy for destructive Philip.

Sir Alan said: "I'm clear in my mind that your bravado and attitude ain't going to fit in my organisation. You're fired."

Philip remained defiant in his own ability to the end and, audibly, called the decision "a joke" as he left the boardroom.

In the cab, he said: "I'm disappointed. I thought I had the potential to go a lot further than this but, unfortunately, I crossed paths with Lorraine and it was the end of me."

Philip repeated that he thought he was a better candidate than Lorraine although at least he accepted that he would be forever remembered for his Pantsman idea.

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