The Ashes 2013/14: Australia recapture the urn in Perth

Australia 385 & 369-6dec beat England 251 & 353 by 150 runs Scorecard
Man of the match: Steve Smith (111)

AUSTRALIA delivered another crushing defeat in the third Test in Perth to take an unassailable 3-0 lead and regain the Ashes urn for the first time since 2009.

Mitchell Johnson inevitably dealt the final blow at 5.45am British time this morning, James Anderson fending the ball to George Bailey at short leg as England's tail struggled again following the removal of Ben Stokes.

Durham all-rounder Stokes hit a wonderful maiden Test century but, remarkably, this was England's first of the series. Australia have scored seven.

Indeed, there is a whole range of statistics which could be reeled off to show a complete disparity in quality between the two sides.

Yes, there have been three lost tosses for Alastair Cook which have resulted in the Australians' getting the advantage of batting first on some belting pitches.

But that excuse can be given little credence really, considering England's biggest failures with the bat have come in their first innings, resulting in three uphill, and ultimately futile, battles.

The bowlers, therefore, have a more legitimate excuse in that, so short have the England innings been, they have been terribly overworked on some baking hot days.

Nevertheless, Anderson and Graeme Swann are two of the most experienced squad members, and yet they currently hold monstrous averages of 58.42 and 80 respectively.

By contrast, four of the five leading wicket takers are Australian, a list headed by Johnson who has taken 23 scalps at 15.47, an average which was at one stage below nine.

Worst of all, the England bowlers have been guilty of allowing Australia to build the scoreboard pressure which the batsman have then wilted under.

They can complain of tiredness quite legitimately but it does work both ways.

For, just as Australia had been 132-6 in Brisbane and 174-4 in Adelaide, they were again struggling at 143-5 on the first day in Perth. Perhaps, we thought, England were going to get a foothold in this series, after all.

Then, Steve Smith arrived at the crease. A hitherto largely unheralded player in this Aussie renaissance, Smith went on to compile only his second Test century.

In Perth, though, this was a much more enjoyable event than his first ton, which actually came in the draw this summer at the Oval amid English celebrations of a 3-0 series victory.

How long ago those days seem now already! Smith was supported by the excellent Brad Haddin who became only the fourth wicketkeeper to score four consecutive Test half centuries - and, together, they ensured Australia recovered to 385 all out.

Despite Cook and fellow opener Michael Carberry compiling their highest stand of the series at 85, the hosts' score was still look good.

This was because England had ended day two on 180-4, still more than 200 behind having lost Cook and Kevin Pietersen before the close.

Cook at least made 72 this time, his highest score of the series. But he then cut spinner Nathan Lyon to David Warner at point in an identical dismissal to the one which had got Warner on day one.

Pietersen, who had been horribly bogged down - scoring just four runs from his first 40 balls - then launched a foolish attack on Peter Siddle, a bowler for whom he seemingly does not rate.

It was a bad mistake and he managed instead only to slog to Johnson at mid-on. Incidentally, Siddle has now accounted for Pietersen on 10 occasions, more than any other bowler.

Maybe it is time for Pietersen to show his opponent a little more respect, though this is a word which has been in short supply in this bitterest of series.

BBC correspondent Jonathan Agnew even dedicated part of his blog to criticising the poor sportsmanship which has been a common theme in the three matches so far.

The latest most blatant example coming from some England players' refusal to applaud Shane Watson's century, as is customary - but the Aussies have hardly been angels.

As mentioned by myself previously, sledging - while an accepted part of the game - is best done with genuine wit and humour rather than simply being abuse.

Back to the action anyway, and resuming on day three, England predictably repeated their previous collapses in Brisbane and Adelaide by losing their last six wickets for 61.

Stuart Broad, who is still considered by many Australians to be public enemy number one following his antics in the summer, was one of only two men to fall to Johnson on this occasion.

But, along with his lbw dismissal from a Johnson yorker, Broad also suffered a bruised toe and, attending interviews on crutches, he became almost symbolic of just how shattered and tortured England looked, both mentally and physically.

Indeed, in many observers' eyes, the third day which followed was the one in which the wheels officially came off for England.

Australia constructed a lead of 369 runs for the loss of just three second innings wickets, eventually declaring 503 ahead, as England produced a performance in the field with which even a park side would be embarrassed.

Matt Prior continued his poor form behind the stumps, as well as with the bat, as he missed a stumping from Graeme Swann's first delivery to Warner before messing up another one an hour later for good measure.

The whole innings was summed up on the fourth day, though, when there was a complete breakdown in communication in the outfield between Bell and Anderson.

As Australia attacked with rich abandon, Bailey skied one and it looked a sure wicket until both fielders hesitated and the ball fell comically between them. The sound of raucous, mocking Aussie laughter filled the Waca.

Even Anderson, a modern day legend with 336 Test wickets to his name, looked finished as Aussie new boy Bailey then took great delight in his fortune by smashing a world record 28 runs off one over.

Somehow, it actually got worse. For skipper Cook, this was meant to be a joyous celebration of 100 caps - but, instead, he was out for his first golden duck in Test cricket to a viscous Ryan Harris inswinger.

Carberry (31), Joe Root (19) and Pietersen (45) then all made starts which they could not convert before Stokes joined Bell at the crease.

The tourists' two most in-form batsmen calmed the storm a little but Bell (60) could not survive the night as he was adjudged via DRS to have edged behind off Siddle.

Resuming with five wickets left, then, Stokes stoked the dream for as long as he could, although Prior (26) had exposed the tail at the other end, edging Johnson behind to Haddin.

That was the only wicket to fall in the morning as England reached lunch on 332-6 but, within three overs of the resumption, Stokes' vigil finally ended as he also edged behind, this time off Lyon.

The fat lady could begin to warm her vocal cords for her official appearance and, indeed, England did not keep her waiting much longer.

Swann was out for four to Lyon before Johnson picked the last two wickets - of Tim Bresnan and Anderson - to make it six for the match without having hit his form of the first two Tests.

Man of the match was instead awarded to Smith for his century as Australia began their biggest Ashes party since 2007.

Of course, the 2006-07 series was Australia's last Ashes series victory - and what a thumping it was!

A 5-0 whitewash as the careers of Justin Langer, Damien Martyn, Glenn McGrath and Shane Warne ended on the highest of highs.

Now, current skipper Michael Clarke has not been shy in voicing his aim to repeat the feat which is rated as low as 13/8 with some bookmakers.

For England, the inquest has already begun with former captain Geoff Boycott demanding coach Andy Flower immediately reviews his position, rather than waiting until the end of the series.

BBC Sport chief sports writer Tom Fordyce has penned a front-page article on 'Ten reasons why it went wrong for England' while the Guardian has a similar review from Vic Marks.

At the Telegraph, another former England bowler-turned-journalist Derek Pringle has also suggested Flower must consider his position, while the newspaper scores the series on a session-by-session basis as 31-8 to Australia.

My thoughts are still slightly fogged by the late nights and early mornings but cautious instinct suggests Flower should not be forced into anything too drastic in terms of his own position given his previous success.

At the same time, the coach and his skipper Cook need to be ruthless and mix it up for the last two Tests, regardless of whether it works or not.

Drop the under-performing Pietersen and Prior for Gary Ballance and Jonny Bairstow. Replace Swann and even Anderson (or Broad, if injured), and put some faith in the giant attack of Steven Finn and Boyd Rankin.

After all, this trio of tall pacemen when including Chris Tremlett, was something which was much hyped before the series began.

Since Tremlett struggled at Brisbane in the first Test, though, the whole idea and therefore much of England's preparation seems to have been ditched.

These are just some ideas off the top of my head and, shorn of some of England's stars of the modern day, it would likely be perceived as a weaker team which would lose 5-0.

But, when the current XI look like being whitewashed anyway, something simply must be done.

Yes, the series may be over and the Ashes sadly back Down Under - but the selection for the fourth Test in Melbourne will still be a source of some fascination as an England fan.

It begins, as is traditional, in the early hours of Boxing Day.

THE ASHES 2013/14

21-25 Nov	FIRST: Australia 295 & 401-7d beat England 136 & 179 by 381 runs	Brisbane
5-9 Dec	SECOND: Australia 570-9d & 132-3d bt England 172 & 312 by 218 runs	Adelaide
13-17 Dec	THIRD: Australia 385 & 369-6d beat England 251 & 353 by 150 runs	Perth
26-30 Dec	FOURTH TEST	Melbourne
3-7 Jan	FIFTH TEST	Sydney

CENTURIES
148 Michael Clarke (Australia)
124 David Warner (Australia)
120 Ben Stokes (England)
118 Brad Haddin (Australia)
113 Michael Clarke (Australia)
112 David Warner (Australia)
111 Steve Smith (Australia)
103 Shane Watson (Australia)

FIVE-WICKET HAULS
7-40 Mitchell Johnson (Australia)
6-81 Stuart Broad (England)
5-42 Mitchell Johnson (Australia)

The Ashes 2013/14: Australia hammer desperate England

Australia 295 & 401-7dec beat England 136 & 179 by 381 runs Scorecard
Man of the match: Mitchell Johnson (9-103)

MITCHELL JOHNSON took a five-wicket haul for just the eighth time in Tests as Australia completed a comprehensive beating of sorry England inside four days at the Gabba in Brisbane.

Johnson posted 5-42 in the second innings, and match figures of 9-103, as England collapsed for the second time in the match, losing by a massive 381 runs.

This was a defeat straight from the dark days of English cricket in the 1990s - but this team has shown itself in the past to be a lot more talented than their counterparts from 15 or 20 years ago.

And so that is simply what is so stunning about this turnaround. Indeed, even during day one of this Test, England - holders of the urn since 2007 - were heavy favourites again.

Stuart Broad reacted brilliantly to some extreme goading from the Australian press and supporters to run through the Aussie top-order, taking the top four wickets on the way to figures of 6-81.

Broad had become a persona non grata in Australia following an incident on the third day at Trent Bridge in the first Test of the summer series.

Clearly edging behind to first slip, Broad - as is his right - stood his ground expecting to see the raised finger of Pakistani umpire Aleem Dar.

Incredibly, it never came, and Broad - having refused to walk - carried on where he left off, eventually scoring a vital 65 in what was eventually the tightest of victories.

Already in the past, Broad has shown himself to be a pretty thick-skinned character so it is doubtful that a few headlines - or, ridiculously, being referred to as the "27-year-old medium-pacer" on the Brisbane Courier scorecard - will bother him too much.

Nevertheless, it is a pretty pathetic an hypocritical campaign from the journalists in a country who actually popularised the notion of not walking.

Perhaps the Aussies are just a little more sensitive having had to become accustomed to losing over the last few years.

Not in this series, though, if this desperate England display is replicated elsewhere.

Firstly, having had Australia on the ropes at six down in their first innings, captain Alastair Cook allowed the match to drift as Johnson and Brad Haddin put on 114 for the seventh wicket.

Haddin eventually fell six runs short of his century the following day, run out by quick-thinking debutant Michael Carberry, after going for a second which was never on.

Australia were still all out for less than 300, and England began the task of establishing an innings lead in reasonably confident manner.

Johnson's first spell lasted just three erratic overs, and Carberry looked especially at home in eventually top-scoring for England with 40.

The same could not be said for the vastly more experienced Jonathan Trott, who fell in the over before lunch, patently unable to cope with some short and genuinely fast-paced bowling from Johnson who had been brought back on.

Trott's dismissal had taken the gloss of a solid morning for England who, at 55-2 and then 82-2, had no need to press the panic button.

Except that Johnson - following his inauspicious start - had become a constant menace, regularly clocking 90mph on the speedometer.

Australia's other bowlers were coming into play, too. Ryan Harris took the scalp of Kevin Pietersen who lofted a drive to George Bailey at midwicket, before Carberry was hustled out by Johnson.

Spinner Nathan Lyon dismissed Ian Bell for five and Matt Prior for a golden duck to leave England on 87-6 - and it got worse as Joe Root (2) and Graeme Swann (0) quickly departed to Johnson to leave England on 91-8.

Astonishingly, the tourists had lost six wickets for nine runs inside 10 overs, their worst ever collapse in the first innings of a Test and their worst anywhere since Melbourne in 1990.

Nevertheless, a slow start to an away series is nothing new for England - there is a pattern which has already been set.

For, in tours in the last two years to Pakistan (in the UAE), Sri Lanka, India, New Zealand and now Australia, England have failed to pass even 200 in the first innings of the first Test. If anything, they are getting further away.

More generally, Cook's men have failed to pass 400 in any of their last 17 Test innings, including all 10 innings of this summer's successful, though perhaps now highly-flattering, Ashes series.

The impressive Broad batted with the tail for a while to make 32 but holed out off Peter Siddle to Chris Rogers at deep square leg.

And so, England were humiliatingly all out for 136, a deficit of 159 which grew to one of 224 runs as Australia's openers Rogers and David Warner easily got to close of play undefeated on day two.

Rogers did not last very long on day three, and nor did Shane Watson, but Warner batted magnificently to compile his first Ashes century and the first by anyone in this series.

He was joined at the crease by his skipper Michael Clarke who saw off a perceived short-ball weakness to make it into three figures too.

Indeed, by the time Swann could make his breakthrough, Australia were already on 294-5, a lead of 453.

Clarke then allowed Johnson (39 not out) and debutant Bailey (34) some time at the crease while Haddin (53) completed another half-century.

But, with an hour of the third day left, he declared with Australia having racked up a massive lead of 560.

Only two teams have scored over 200 to win a Test match at the Gabba, and the highest was 236 in 1951 by Australia against the West Indies.

England were no in position to be breaking records with BBC Test Match Special commentator Jonathan Agnew describing them as being "in disarray". 

And, by the close of day three, England were 24-2 and finally staring a huge defeat in the face. 

Carberry was out for a duck this time, defending to Harris, only to see the ball almost apologetically bounce down between his legs and rebound onto the stumps.

Then Trott could not make it to the close, and was never going to, given his skittish approach and poor body position when faced with Johnson.

Former England captain Michael Vaughan described Trott's nine runs as "the worst I've ever seen an England number three make" and, indeed, he made no more, shovelling another short Johnson delivery to Lyon at deep square leg.

Trott just about sums up England's state of mind at present and, though it pains me to admit it, Warner has a point in describing the number three as "poor and weak" and England generally as having "scared eyes".

Of course, the tourists resumed on day four in a frankly hopeless position, and so it was with some credit that Cook led from the front in making 65.

Pietersen (26) and Bell (32) also helped delay the inevitable for a while but Siddle then snaffled the latter with a delivery which was back of a length to leave England on 130-4.

Then, the rains came - easily England's best chances of saving the game. Actually, it was not just rain but hailstones the size of golf balls which were falling out of a blackened sky.

However, the match was delayed for merely 90 minutes and, on its resumption, Cook was out almost immediately, nicking a thin edge behind off Lyon.

The spinner then accounted for Prior, caught down the leg-side by Warner for a paltry four before Broad could only equal that score as a second collapse gained momentum.

Johnson, who had taken Broad's wicket, was in the midst of another great spell and, within the same over, he ensured Swann completed a miserable Test with a second duck.

Another rain delay was actually rather cruel on England who, by this stage, wanted just to get the whole sorry affair over and done with.

And, on the resumption, Chris Tremlett obliged - only managing to fend a short ball from Harris to Bailey for seven - before James Anderson was fittingly caught and bowled by man of the match Johnson for two.

It was all over, England having failed to make it to 200 again in losing by a mammoth 381 runs, their fifth worst Ashes defeat ever in terms of runs and sadly a fair reflection on the difference between how the two teams have played.

England have, of course, bounced back from slow starts in several series in the recent past, securing draws in Sri Lanka and New Zealand, and collecting a magnificent comeback win in India.

But the most worrying thing about this series is that the die already seems to have been cast, the theme being the England top order's complete inability to cope with short, fast-paced deliveries from Johnson.

Serenaded at the start of this Test by England's Barmy Army with that song, the Queenslander is the stand-out figure so far in this series.

A repeat performance of his efforts here in Adelaide, beginning a week on Thursday, would surely put the Aussies 2-0 up.

Then comes Perth in Western Australia where England have won just once ever, even losing heavily in their impressive series victory three years ago.

And so, unless England's batsman can get themselves sorted out pretty sharpish, this series could indeed be decided in a flash - just not in the way it was expected to be.

There is a hell of a lot of work to be done.

THE ASHES 2013/14

21-25 Nov	FIRST: Australia 295 & 401-7d beat England 136 & 179 by 381 runs	Brisbane
5-9 Dec	SECOND TEST	Adelaide
13-17 Dec	THIRD TEST	Perth
26-30 Dec	FOURTH TEST	Melbourne
3-7 Jan	FIFTH TEST	Sydney

CENTURIES
124 David Warner (Australia)
113 Michael Clarke (Australia)

FIVE-WICKET HAULS
6-81 Stuart Broad (England)
5-42 Mitchell Johnson (Australia)

SLOW STARTERS
England's last five first innings scores in the first Test of an away series
192 v Pakistan in Dubai (January 2012)
193 v Sri Lanka in Galle (March 2012)
191 v India in Ahmedabad (November 2012)
167 v New Zealand in Dunedin (March 2013)
136 v Australia in Brisbane (November 2013)

Ashes 2013: Star man Broad set up series win

England 238 & 330 beat Australia 270 & 224 by 74 runs Scorecard
Man of the match: Stuart Broad (11-121)

ENGLAND confirmed their current dominance of the Ashes rivalry by taking a 3-0 series lead at the Riverside following a brilliant Stuart Broad spell of 6-20 in 43 balls.

Broad took 11 wickets in the match altogether and precipitated an Aussie collapse on the fourth evening from 120-1 at tea to 224 all out, as the joyous hosts won by 74 runs.

Of course, after a tight win at Trent Bridge and a thrashing at Lord's, England had already retained the Ashes with an underwhelming draw in rainy Manchester.

But, this time in Chester-le-Street, the feeling of an outright win was rather better as man of the match Broad burst through the tail to bring an enthralling fourth Test to a perfect climax.

Once again, though, it was far from a straightforward victory - and, overall, this match was another superb advertisement for Test cricket, right from the moment England won the toss and chose to bat under leaden skies.

Despite that, and the early departure of Joe Root, Alastair Cook looked more solid than recently and the skipper made it to lunch with Jonathan Trott on 57-1.

However, the afternoon went in the Aussies' favour as Trott (49) and Cook (51) were followed by Kevin Pietersen (26) being trapped lbw by Nathan Lyon.

The spinner was achieving little turn but, nevertheless, continued to good effect after tea, removing Ian Bell for a surprisingly low score of six and the careless Jonny Bairstow for 17.

Bairstow's shot was a horrible sweep across the line to a ball which did not turn - and, with Prior also gone to Peter Siddle, the tail was left exposed.

Tim Bresnan and James Anderson somehow got through to the second morning but, as I watched from the stands enjoying my first taste of Test cricket, the pair added no more runs to leave England on 238 all out.

It seriously looked like another under-par effort again, though England could at least take some heart that the first innings scores in the five County Championship matches at Chester-le-Street in 2013 had averaged just 253.

Take heart, the bowlers certainly did, with Broad particularly impressive to snaffle the early wickets of David Warner for three, Usman Khawaja for a duck, and captain Michael Clarke for six.

Australia were looking rather vulnerable and it could have got even worse if Broad had also successfully managed to remove opener Chris Rogers.

Indeed, on this matter, England were slightly unfortunate. Hawk-eye suggested that Rogers was out lbw, having not hit the ball - but the hosts had appealed and been wrongly given caught behind.

The decision was overturned at the request of Rogers's review and the 35-year-old would ultimately score one of the streakiest centuries with edges here, there and everywhere.

Nevertheless, on day two, it could not be denied that Australia had picked up where they left off at Old Trafford and taken control of the game. Shane Watson, down the order, joined Rogers in a stand of 129 for the fifth wicket as the Aussies eyed a decent lead.

But, Watson - ever the unreliable - was caught behind shortly before a ridiculously curtailed day for bad light and his wicket gave England renewed hope of restricting their first innings deficit.

The bowlers duly did strike back on day three as Graeme Swann, with the old ball, and Anderson, with the new one, took two wickets apiece before Broad (5-71) completed his five-fer with an lbw against Ryan Harris. 

Harris then exacted revenge as the hosts' top order failed again with Root, Cook and Trott all out early to leave England on 49-3, for a paltry lead of just 17. 

Enter Warwickshire batsman Bell. Not content with making two centuries in this Ashes series, the 31-year-old compiled another to join Maurice Leyland in 1934 and David Gower in 1985 as the only Englishmen to make three tons in a home Ashes series. 

Refreshingly, Bell found company from Pietersen (44) and Bairstow (28), with whom he shared stands of 106 and 66 - but it was Bresnan who would aid him to three figures. 

England thus resumed the fourth, and ultimately final, day on 234-5 but the excellent seven-wicket Harris, all rested up, was able to make early inroads, accounting for Bell and the disappointing Prior who was out first ball. 

Bresnan, meanwhile, somehow survived a close lbw shave and then took advantage, swinging the bat to make 45 while enjoying vital partnerships with Broad (13) and Swann, who finished 30 not out. 

A much improved batting performance, then, had taken England to 330 and set a target of 299 for Australia to get a score on the board and keep alive their hopes of a series draw. 

Surely, It was far too much on this pitch, though? 

Well, apparently not, as Rogers (49) and Warner (71) put on more than 100 for the first wicket, the first Aussie openers to do that in any Ashes match since the Oval in 2005. 

By tea, Swann had finally got the better of Rogers - but, even after this, Australia were in with a real shout on 168-2. 

Then, the mainstay of the innings, Warner, was caught behind off Bresnan - and the Aussies suddenly collapsed in dramatic fashion. 168-3 became 174-4, 175-5, 179-6 and 181-7 as neither Clarke, Steve Smith, Watson or Brad Haddin hung around for long. 

All but Watson's wicket had been taken by Broad - and, with the bit very much between his teeth, he set up an extra half hour by removing Australia's real last hope Harris for 11.
 
Meanwhile, from a personal perspective, Broad had progressed to nine wickets in the match and looked likely to get his 10th when Lyon edged, only for Swann to fumble in the slips.

Riled up, Broad decided to take his destiny into his own hands, and rearranged Lyon's furniture to achieve only his second 10-fer. More importantly, he had put England on the brink.

It seemed only right that Broad would get to finish the match but that looked in some doubt as receding light forced umpire Aleem Dar to request the Notts paceman be removed from the attack.

Spin from both ends, with Root operating alongside Swann, still seemed to be doing the trick until Prior completed a poor Test for him by missing a regulation run out chance.

However, England's moment would soon come again - and, as the sun cracked through the grey clouds overhead, the light had improved sufficiently to see the reintroduction of Broad.

It was almost 8pm by then, but applying the coup de grace did not take Broad long. In fact, it took just three balls before he induced Siddle into chipping meekly to Anderson at mid-off.

Magnificent - and yet another British success to celebrate in a second consecutive magical summer of sport.

Of course, for the England cricketers, the drab Old Trafford draw made it seem as if this year's Ashes success would be tinged by a sense of anti-climax.

And that underwhelming feeling would have been even worse if Australia had managed somehow to level the series at 2-2.

Indeed, for the first half of this fourth Test, the Aussies were on top again. It was all a far cry from comments that they were the worst touring Australian side in Ashes history.

But what cannot be denied is that England currently have more depth of talent than Australia. This is  particularly true of the respective bowling attacks and England have made this significant difference count all the way through the series.

If Anderson is not swinging it, then Swann will find some turn. Or Broad will produce a ferocious spell of line and length.

Moreover, Yorkshire tyke Bresnan would surely be better than a mere support bowler in a less blessed team while the likes of Chris Tremlett and Graham Onions have not even had a look in.

For sure, the batting is currently a problem with Cook, Root and Trott all struggling at the top of the order - but, even assessed on this criteria, England lead Australia by five centuries to two.

Bell, of course, rather helps that statistic - but, then that is exactly what he is in the team to do. It was not always thus, and Bell notoriously struggled against Australia early in his international career.

Also, as BBC correspondent Jonathan Agnew noted, there was an "old theory that Bell only scored runs when his team-mates had done the same".

Now, never again should that argument be put towards him. With England in trouble before each of his three tons, Bell's 18th, 19th and 20th Test centuries are surely his very best, even if - incredibly - none of them has been rewarded with man of the match honours.

At the same time, though, it would be just as harsh to deny Broad the champagne on this occasion. Indeed, while this was a moment for the whole England team to savour, it was sweetest of all for the seamer.

"Nine wickets in a session, the crowd and everything that went with that today – the excitement, obviously the nerves at the beginning – that was the moment," confirmed beaming captain Cook.

He added: "We're going to get greedy I think – we're going to try and repeat that at The Oval. But we can think about that with sore heads tomorrow and enjoy what was a very special day and one which I'm certainly going to look back on with huge fondness."

Well, I say to Cook - be ruthless and be greedy. After all, as a kid growing up the 1990s, this England fan is not bored of handing out beatings to the Aussies on the cricket field just yet.


THE ASHES 2013
FIXTURES

10-14 July	First Test: England 215 & 375 beat Australia 280 & 296 by 14 runs	Trent Bridge
18-21 July	Second Test: England 361 & 349-7dec beat Australia 128 & 235 by 347 runs	Lord's
1-5 August	Third Test: Australia 527-7dec & 172-7dec drew with England 368 & 37-3	Old Trafford
9-13 August	Fourth Test: England 238 & 330 beat Australia 270 & 224 by 74 runs	Riverside
21-25 August	Fifth Test	The Oval

CENTURIES
187 Michael Clarke (Australia), third Test
180 Joe Root (England), second Test
113 Kevin Pietersen (England), third Test
113 Ian Bell (England), fourth Test
110 Chris Rogers (Australia), fourth Test
109 Ian Bell (England), first Test
109 Ian Bell (England), second Test

FIVE-WICKET HAULS (~ 10 wickets in the match)
7-117 Ryan Harris (Australia), fourth Test
~6-50 Stuart Broad (England), fourth Test
5-44 Graeme Swann (England), second Test
5-50 Peter Siddle (Australia), first Test
~5-71 Stuart Broad (England), fourth Test
5-72 Ryan Harris (Australia), second Test
~5-73 James Anderson (England), first Test
~5-85 James Anderson (England), first Test
5-159 Graeme Swann (England), third Test

Ashes 2013: Boycott and Aggers, a wonderfully odd couple

AN ASHES summer just would not be the same if it did not feature at some stage the wonderful, and occasionally slightly odd, world that is Test Match Special.

It was therefore an absolute pleasure to hear - and see - the show's two best-known current voices as England legend Geoff Boycott joined BBC cricket correspondent Jonathan Agnew at Newcastle City Hall last night.

Their talk-in - Boycott and Aggers - was a brilliant way of starting a big week for north east cricket with Durham's Riverside ground hosting the fourth Test against Australia from Friday.

The evening - which helped raise funds for the Benevolent Fund of the Professional Cricketers' Association - began with Aggers on stage on his own.

The former Leicestershire bowler ran through some housekeeping in his usual consummate style before he went on to tell an amusing anecdote about the time he managed to get his good friend Geoffrey out cheaply.

Shortly afterwards, Boycott was then introduced to a fantastic ovation, and the conversation proper soon started to wind its way through a variety of subjects.

Now, anyone who has had the fortune of listening to TMS during a rain delay will be aware how the team can make the vacant minutes and hours pass by in a flash - and it was just as good at City Hall.

As usual, Boycott was not slow in coming forwards and the Yorkshireman gave his honest opinion on a broad range of topics and personalities.

We found out that he does not have much time for the "useless" South African umpire Marais Erasmus, and that he thinks Kevin Pietersen - while being England's most exceptional batsman - can also be "a prat".

Of course, these views were predictable enough - but there were some genuine gems to be found from the Question and Answer section of the show.

Aggers confirmed that his late, fellow-commentator, Brian 'Johnners' Johnston - with whom he shared a separate incident in what has been voted as "the greatest sporting commentary of all time" - sadly never actually said the nevertheless immortal phrase: "The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willey."

Meanwhile, Boycott revealed he regularly took a handkerchief out with him to the crease so that he could see "which way the wind was blowing".

The occasion even included a game of Boycott bingo, a Mastermind-style challenge in which Geoffrey declared his specialist subject to be himself, and a prize draw in which one lucky pair won tickets to the second day at Chester-le-Street.

Finally, the more-than-worthy appearance of cricket-loving impressionist Rory Bremner added an extra dimension to the second half.

But, of course, the main focus was on public schoolboy Aggers and, particularly, 72-year-old miner's son Boycott.

They are, indeed, an "odd couple", as Aggers freely admits - but they work together so brilliantly. Aggers regularly teases Boycott about his notoriously defensive batting style while Boycott usually responds by mocking Aggers' not-so-quick fast bowling.

The tit-for-that should go on for some time yet with Aggers revealing that their broadcasts reach over one million listeners online, in additional to those who tune in via the traditional medium on BBC Radio 4 LW and 5Live Sports Extra.

And so, with a loyal and growing fanbase, it is clear that this quintessentially English institution - with its Caribbean lilt - is here to stay. Long live TMS!

Ashes 2013: England retain urn after rainy draw

Australia 527-7dec & 172-7dec drew with England 368 & 37-3 Scorecard
Man of the match: Michael Clarke (187)

ENGLAND secured the Ashes for a third successive series after the third Test at Old Trafford petered out to a rain-affected draw.

Leading 2-0 from the first two matches, the hosts required only a draw from any of the last three games to keep the urn in English hands.

And, while England were reduced to 27-3 at one stage on the final day, persistent rain after lunch prevented any further play.

Eventually, at 4.40pm, the match was abandoned and declared a draw. Australia's fine efforts in the third Test had ultimately been for nought. England had retained the Ashes.

Of course, Australia had come into the contest on the back of heavy criticism following their massive defeat at Lord's - but they have, in fairness, done much to defy their critics by dominating this Test throughout.

It helped that skipper Michael Clarke won the toss for the first time in the series and, on a good pitch, he compiled his personal best Ashes score of 187.

Plenty of others in the Aussie top order contributed too. Opener Chris Rogers hit a chanceless 84, Steve Smith made 89, while a positive flurry by Mitchell Starc (66 not out) and Brad Haddin (65 not out) took Australia to 527-7 declared.

For once, the England were on the back foot and the seam attack had looked toothless as local lad James Anderson remained wicketless with figures of 0-116 in the first innings.

Meanwhile, Stuart Broad (1-108) and Tim Bresnan (1-114) could only tale one scalp apiece. At least, Broad could take personal enjoyment from his wicket after bowling Clarke for his 200th Test success, the second youngest Englishman to reach that mark after Sir Ian Botham.

However, it was Graeme Swann (5-159) who impressed most with the ball, taking his 17th five-for in just 55 Tests, including the prize wicket of David Warner.

Warner, of course, had quite literally hit the headlines before the series by getting involved in altercation with young England opener Joe Root in a Birmingham pub during the ICC Champions Trophy.

The Aussie was subsequently suspended and only regained his place in the Test side after scoring 193 for Australia A against South Africa A in Pretoria.

To the delight of the Old Trafford crowd, Jonathan Trott caught Warner out cheaply at first slip after a deflection off wicket-keeper Matt Prior's gloves.

Warner was not convinced, and he reviewed the decision on the basis that he considered the inside edge of his bat hitting his pad to be the only impact.

He was wrong and thus, if anything, increased his pantomime villain persona - but this was a truly rare instance so far of the review system being used correctly.

Yes indeed, the decision review system has endured another difficult Test match, with Usman Khawaja particularly unlucky to miss out on the Aussie run fest.

Khawaja was out for a solitary run, adjudged to have been caught behind off Swann - and, while there was a noise, it was clear from the replays that it was bat on pad.

There was also being nothing on HotSpot - and yet still third umpire Kumar Dharmasena refused to overturn the incorrect on-field ruling - leading to Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd to state on Twitter that it was "one of the worst umpiring decisions" he had ever seen.

From then on, the luck seemed to run against England with Smith lucky to escape on at least two separate occasions, both of which ended up as failed reviews for the hosts.

And it would eventually get to the present scenario where, clearly, neither side seems to have much confidence in the system.

For instance, when nightwatchman Tim Bresnan was given out, caught behind early in the England reply, the ball had actually come off his thigh pad rather than his bat.

Nevertheless, the Yorkshireman declined to ask for a review, presumably concerned that it would be a wasted effort and the on-field decision would not be overturned.

Resuming day three on 52-2, things got worse for England before they got better, with Jonathan Trott (5) out cheaply and captain Alastair Cook caught behind down the leg-side off Starc before lunch. 

Cook had made 62 but England were listing badly on 110-4 before the in-form Ian Bell joined Kevin Pietersen at the crease. 

The pair put on 115 for the fifth wicket to bring the follow-on target into sight - but there was a late sting in the tale of day three as Bell (60), Pietersen (113) and Bairstow (22) all fell before stumps. 

Requiring 34 more runs at the start of day four to avoid the follow on, England surpassed their target with ease following a flurry of boundaries off Broad's bat. 

It was lovely, positive cricket from Broad, alongside Matt Prior, and it only came to a halt when the former surprisingly decided to walk on being caught behind off Nathan Lyon. 

In a strange turn of events, Swann also walked off after being caught behind off Peter Siddle, leaving Prior to farm the strike with number 11 Anderson. 

Prior did this expertly, even if he did incur the wrath from parts of the Old Trafford crowd for turning down some obvious singles. 

But, while it was hardly exhilarating stuff, it was effective - and England had reached a total of 368 when Prior was eventually caught by Warner off the bowling of four-wicket Siddle. 

That was still 159 behind - but the onus was now very much back on Australia as they raced against the time and the Manchester weather.

Opting to promote Warner in place of Shane Watson as an opener, the Aussies set about making some quick runs to set up a declaration. 

The tourists duly scored at almost five an over and, despite regularly losing wickets, had reached 137-5 for a lead of 296, as the players took a slightly early tea due to a shower. 

Skipper Clarke should have perhaps taken that as a warning sign and made a positive declaration there and then but he did not and he may now live to regret that.

After all, there would ultimately only be 39 more deliveries after the interval - though this was sadly partly down to England's cynically slow over rate and also due to some more bizarre decision-making from the umpires. 

This time, the controversy arose from a recent change in laws by cricket's governing body, the ICC, regarding bad light. Previously always subject to the batting team's perspective, now it is the umpires who are the sole arbiters of what constitutes bad light.

In Manchester, the on-field pair - Marais Erasmus and Tony Hill - decided that, as England captain Cook had refused to bring on his spinners, it was too dangerous to play. This was despite a lack of rain and the presence of four towering floodlights.

Clarke was furious, well aware that any time spent off the field of play equated to the Ashes slipping away from his team.

And, in fairness, he found an unlikely ally in the home crowd at Old Trafford, which was, after all, hosting its first Test match for over three years following a £32m redevelopment.

The players would never make it back out of the pavilion on day four - and, with fewer than 21 overs managed on the final day, the Aussies' hopes of getting back in the series were literally washed away.

England have retained the Ashes, then, and - impressively - have now taken them on four of the last five occasions.

But this was easily the most underwhelming success, due to the very nature of it.

On the back foot for much of the last five days, it was never going to be particularly gratifying to secure the Ashes with a draw, particularly one which had more to do with the weather than a battling batting performance.

Also, it must be said that England hardly endeared themselves to the neutral with their intentional go-slow tactics in the Australian second innings.

Of course, that does not detract from the fact that Australia would have done exactly the same if the roles had been reversed - but such tactics undoubtedly damage the spirit of the game and it is the paying public who lose out most.

Still, the verdict of The Sun's chief sports writer Steve Howard was unnecessarily harsh. Seemingly forgetting that England put themselves in such a strong position by winning the first two Tests through their own hard work, Howard was particularly scathing that the Ashes had been won with a draw (£).

It will certainly be interesting to see if he holds the same opinion if England resume their recent dominance and win the next two Tests in Chester-le-Street and at the Oval to take the series 4-0.

I will be at the fourth Test on Saturday and, while it is technically a dead rubber in terms of the Ashes, home fans have every right to expect an improved performance.

The urn may be staying at home for a little while longer yet - but, as BBC cricket correspondent Jonathan Agnew has noted, England's work is far from done.

THE ASHES 2013
FIXTURES

10-14 July	First Test: England 215 & 375 beat Australia 280 & 296 by 14 runs	Trent Bridge
18-21 July	Second Test: England 361 & 349-7d beat Australia 128 & 235 by 347 runs	Lord's
1-5 August	Third Test: Australia 527-7dec & 172-7dec drew with England 368 & 37-3	Old Trafford
9-13 August	Fourth Test	Riverside
21-25 August	Fifth Test	The Oval

CENTURIES
187 Michael Clarke (Australia), third Test
180 Joe Root (England), second Test
113 Kevin Pietersen (England), third Test
109 Ian Bell (England), first Test
109 Ian Bell (England), second Test

FIVE-WICKET HAULS (~ 10 wickets in the match)
5-44 Graeme Swann (England), second Test
5-50 Peter Siddle (Australia), first Test
5-72 Ryan Harris (Australia), second Test
~5-73 James Anderson (England), first Test
~5-85 James Anderson (England), first Test
5-159 Graeme Swann (England), third Test