Five alternative ways to enjoy Friday's big occasion as future King of England Prince William marries Catherine 'Kate' Middleton who he met at the University of St Andrews.
1. PLAY the Royal Wedding Drinking Game.
WITH now more than a quarter of a million 'Likes' on Facebook, it is fair to say a good proportion of the population will be literally raising a glass to the happy couple. Rules include:
"(1) If the Queen is on the screen you must be drinking. The woman has ruled the country for over 50 years, the least you can do is get destroyed in her honour.
(2) Any time Prince Harry appears all players must produce a Nazi salute. The last player to do so must consume 5 fingers/mouthfuls for their poor reactions."
Full details can be found on this Facebook page.
2. PUT a silly bet on
ALL manner of Royal Wedding Special bets are being offered by the bookmakers including the chance of anyone dropping the wedding ring, Kate Middleton jilting Prince William at the altar, the weather and - of course - the colour of the Queen's hat.
Oddschecker has a comprehensive guide to the bets available from each bookmaker.
3. PASS the sick bag
ALTHOUGH the wedding ceremony is finished just after midday and the fly-past by the Royal Air Force and Battle of Britain Memorial Flight takes place at 1.30pm, coverage on the BBC, ITV and Sky will continue until 4pm. There are more hours devoted on the evening.
But do not despair. Cumbrian graphic artist Lydia Leith has designed the perfect accessory for those who think they might get queasy at a series of commentators being rolled out to pass the time by giving their meaningless platitudes upon the wedding.
It may also be useful to deal with any fallout from anyone playing the Royal Wedding Drinking Game (see above) and can double up as a souvenir of the event.
Sick bags, in red or blue, are available from her website here for £3.00 each +£1.20p&p - as seen on the BBC here.
4. AVOID the suffocating coverage of every media outlet by taking a sideways look
RATHER than leafing through pages upon pages of Royal Wedding guides produced by every single newspaper in the UK, sit down with a cuppa and read The Guardian's G2 Not the Royal Wedding guide - including a special TV Go Home column by Charlie Brooker.
Alternatively, Friday 29 April is the latest release date for the bi-weekly satirical magazine Private Eye. It is bound to be a bumper issue on the basis of this front-page from when Prince William proposed in November last year.
Finally, one publication unlikely to carry a special edition is the Scottish newspaper Caledonian Mercury who reported the announcement of their engagement, as follows:
"Two people who went to university together are to get married, it has emerged.
"William Windsor (or possibly Wales or possibly Saxe-Coburg-Gotha) and Kate Middleton, both 28, met at St Andrews University eight years ago."
5. ATTEND an alternative street party
FOR those with a great enough sense of injustice about using taxpayers' money to fund the Royal Wedding, political pressure group Republic is holding a street party from 11.30am at Red Lion Square in London.
The website says: "We've taken a 'traditional' royalist street party as our inspiration, but there will be one key difference. We'll be celebrating democracy and people-power rather than inherited privilege."
Full details of the event in the Holburn area on Republic's website here.
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