Monday 23 September 2013

Turning 30 in Prague: a perspective

Time ticks by... the Astronomical Clock in the Old Town Square, Prague
THE BEAUTIFUL surroundings in the city of Prague are where I decided to celebrate my 30th birthday, a choice inspired by two previous visits to the Czech capital.

Prague is a magical place to someone like me, someone who fancies himself as a bit of an amateur history buff and a big fan of quality beer.

Of course, a 30th birthday is seen as a bit of a landmark, usually signifying an end to sprightly youthfulness and the onset of middle age.

I have no doubt that it was all in good humour - but a September birthday has the consequence of me being one of the oldest in my school year and, among my long-term friends on the trip, there were inevitable 'old man' jokes at my expense.

Additionally, one of my cards warned that it was "all downhill from here" - and, in certain senses, that prediction looks rather grimly accurate.

A difficult morning in Prague was described brilliantly by one of my friends as "the hangover of [my] past 29 years".

But, while I have noticed my hangovers nowadays hit me worse than ever, I have found that there are actually some advantages to my advancing years.

It is an unfortunate fact that my 20s, and particularly my late 20s - while featuring so many fantastic memories that it would be impossible to list them all - have also been set in the context of my issues with panic and generalised anxiety.

Last year, ridiculously, I almost missed the trip of a lifetime to Thailand, and the most significant repeat episode this year left me dangerously dosed up and debilitated in Dublin on diazepam. It later even affected my ability to work, too.

Indeed, my head was so all over the place that I even stopped doing something which I find that I really enjoy: writing this blog.

Thankfully, I backtracked on that particularly rash decision and I am still getting help through a therapist with the underlying causes of my anxiety.

Specifically, it is a lack of self-confidence derived from the core belief that I just cannot and will not cope with the various challenges which life will always throw at me.

Now, of course, there is a whole stack of evidence in my life to the contrary of that belief - and my sessions with the practitioner aim for me to focus on this. They also challenge and rid me of certain 'safety' behaviours which I consider help me but actually ensure my problems persist.

Armed with the facts, it is amazing just how far a different perspective in life can take you.

This summer, I visited three other capital cities - Budapest in Hungary, Zagreb in Croatia, and Ljubljana in Slovenia - with barely an ounce of anxiety, and happily my visit to Prague was a similarly unspoiled experience.

I drank in various beer halls - U Medvídků, U Fleků, and U Vejvodů among my favourites, and visited the excellent Klášterní Pivovar Strahov and the unmissable Beer Museum - twice.

I went to the Museum of Communism, amusingly situated next to McDonalds, and - across the glorious Karlov Most - to the Franz Kafka Museum to learn about a writer even more tortured by his inner demons than myself.

Finally, I scaled the heights of the Powder Tower, and then Prague's most famous landmark, the medieval Astronomical Clock in the Old Town Square.

Yes, it was rather apt that the entry into my 30s was marked in a place so indelibly linked with the passing of time.

And, as I reflect on this most special of birthdays, I will confidently predict to give myself an easier ride in my 30s than my 20s.

It is time to ensure turning 30 in Prague was simply a milestone in life - and not another millstone.

Thank you to all my family and friends who have listened to me, helped me out, and just asked me how I was. The cloud is lifting and I am getting better at this crazy thing called life.

1 comment:

  1. we are always here for you, family and friends, here's to a GREAT 2014 xxxx

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