Newcastle United 5 Nolan 26, 34, 75; Ameobi 45+4 (pen), 70
Sunderland 1 Bent 90
A BRUTAL massacre took place at St James Park today as Chris Hughton's Newcastle United humiliated local rivals Sunderland in the 142nd Tyne-Wear derby.
Kevin Nolan scored the first hat-trick in the fixture for 25 years with Shola Ameobi scoring twice as United hammered Steve Bruce's men.
This was indeed a horror show for Sunderland and 51,988 people bore witness to the front pairing of Ameobi and Andy Carroll combining brilliantly all afternoon for Newcastle.
Ameobi and Carroll even showed a hitherto unforeseen turn of pace to terrorise the Sunderland defence, winning countless free-kicks and corners for the excellent Joey Barton and allowing Nolan to lurk in the box.
Then, when he got his chances, former Bolton Wanderers man Nolan finished with deadly accuracy, emulating Peter Beardsley's three-goal haul in January 1985.
He opened the scoring on 26 minutes, hooking the ball beyond three Sunderland defenders on the line after it had fallen to him invitingly from Mike Williamson's header off a corner.
And he made it 2-0 shortly afterwards, slotting home unmarked from 12 yards after the ball had broken to him from Carroll's attempted scissor kick.
Earlier in the move, Ameobi had carried the ball from the half-way line to the edge of the box with a surging run past three men before laying it off to Jonas Gutierrez to cross for Carroll.
With half-time fast approaching, a very good half turned for United into a dream one as yet more direct running, this time from Gutierrez, caused yet more panic in the Sunderland backline.
Argentine winger Gutierrez was only halted by a clumsy challenge from Nedum Onuoha and Ameobi stepped up to make it 3-0 from the spot, much to Nolan's chagrin.
Nolan would eventually get his hat-trick but first he had to wait for Ameobi to score his second, and the best goal of the day.
Danny Simpson delivered a fine cross from the right but the unfortunate Carroll smacked his header off the bar.
The ball fell to Ameobi on the edge of the box and he smashed an unstoppable rebound high into the net past Sunderland keeper Simon Mignolet.
With fully 15 minutes left, it was 5-0 as Nolan completed his hat-trick and Newcastle eyed a repeat of their earlier win this season over Aston Villa.
Once again, Barton delivered an accurate cross from a corner and again it was flicked on by Ameobi for Nolan to win the second header and send it goal-wards.
In the end, the repeat of the Villa result never materialised as Newcastle stepped off the gas and toyed with their opponents for the final quarter of an hour.
Darren Bent scored a last-minute consolation for the Black Cats' ten men, reacting quickly to a loose ball from a corner to volley past Tim Krul.
But, make no mistake about it, Sunderland had been second best all afternoon as Corbridge-born manager Bruce painfully had to admit.
It had not helped that they had played most of the second half a man down after former Magpie Titus Bramble had been sent off for a last-man challenge on Carroll.
However, this was just the icing on the cake for many Geordies who suffered five seasons of his shambolic performances earlier in his career.
An incredible but fully deserved 5-1 win, then - though, in some ways, this result should have been expected considering the Magpies' totally unpredictable season so far.
Hughton's team had enjoyed victory in the league three times before today - 6-0 against Aston Villa at home, and away at Everton and West Ham United. Newcastle also won 4-3 against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge in the League Cup.
However, a rather Jekyll and Hyde start had seen successive home games without a win against Blackpool, Stoke City and Wigan Athletic in the league, and Arsenal in the cup.
Media rumours that Hughton was living on borrowed time prompted the club to release a statement denying anything was afoot and new contract negotiations would open in the New Year.
But that whole episode smacked of a panicked media construct with the press pack left without a story after the recent situations at Anfield and Old Trafford had been resolved.
Indeed the first newspaper to suggest any doubts was the Daily Mail. Their motive? Well, they have been banned from St James Park for the last two seasons.
Sadly, the story was perpetuated in the Sunday weeklies where it gained momentum with also-banned former Newcastle Evening Chronicle gobshite Alan Oliver at the forefront in the People. More disappointingly still, even the BBC got caught up in the non-story.
It is safe to say that this arbitrary line of attack has been closed off for now after a wonderful performance, full of flair and attacking verve.
Indeed, from their 14 league and cup games so far this season, Newcastle have scored 26 goals and conceded 23, a combined average of 3.5 goals per game.
It would seem that Hughton has overseen the return of the Entertainers except now there is a new King Kev at the helm.
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