Under pressure

MY THIRD driving test failure was perhaps the most inevitable of them all in the end.

Despite the experience of two earlier attempts, this was the first time that I felt an unbearable pressure to pass.

After relatively close calls on my first two tries, I expected myself to pass in the run-up to this latest test but failed with four minors and a serious.

My big mouth had blurted the date to all and sundry and so I put myself under even more pressure. Ultimately, my biggest worry was disappointing people.

I had taken the evening before the test off work. This leave had been taken before the result of my second test as I intended to visit York City for the Minstermen's match against my home town, Gateshead in the Blue Square Premier.

But, having failed on the second attempt, I ditched my trip to York as I had arranged for my next attempt for what would be the following morning.

I kept the annual leave, expecting to use the day to relax. But the time off had the opposite effect, serving to extend the length of time in which the nerves could build up.

At midnight, I settled myself down for what I hoped would be a good night of sleep.

Instead, I tossed and turned in bed for a few hours before a full-scale panic attack which had me sweating from every pore.

My anxiety was so bad that no rational explanation could calm me down and, due to the resultant insomnia, I expected that I may even have to cancel.

Eventually, pure exhaustion from the stress got me a few hours of shut-eye and I awoke in a slightly more positive mindset.

I was not feeling as tired as I thought I would be and my morning practice drive with instructor David Convery was of a reasonable standard.

It seemed somewhat remarkable given my previous state but, by mid-morning, I had calmed down sufficiently to sit the test at Gateshead test centre on Wellington Road in Dunston.

Still, I was hardly nerveless and early jitters meant that I made an error at my point-of-turn on a bay park, which was the first exercise after the sight test and show me/tell me questions.

I was able to correct this when straightening up, though, and headed towards the Teams where I was asked to do my second manoeuvre, a turn-in-the-road.

The turn-in-the-road was the element upon which I had surprisingly failed on my previous attempt.

But I had been practising the manoeuvre since the start of this driving process in June and that fail proved to be the exception rather than the rule as I found no difficulties this time.

From there, I went across the Waggon Team roundabout towards Lobley Hill before driving down Dunston Bank and across the crossroads at the bottom onto the A1.

I drove for just a mile on the carriageway in pouring rain and high winds, leaving at the third exit, signposted for Blaydon/Consett.

The next part of the test was where I made my latest crucial error as my tired brain confused the lane arrangement at a roundabout after the slip road.

The slip road had put me in the middle lane of three with a road merging from the left for the same direction and a separate right-hand lane for turning right.

Instead of using the middle lane on the roundabout, I chose the right-hand lane and narrowly avoided an accident by swerving to the correct exit.

I had confused being in the right-hand lane turning right with being on the right-hand side of two lanes going left.

It was a fundamental error and, I assure you, not one which I would usually do.

But I knew straightaway that it had cost me a chance of passing and the final few roundabouts back to the test centre were a case of going through the motions.

Ultimately, it was my concentration which had given way, just like my nerve had on the previous night. The lack of sleep from the latter undoubtedly resulted in the former.

Yet the test had an oddly cathartic effect of convincing me once again that I was a competent driver. Despite another bad mistake, I had reduced the number of minor errors to just four.

I think I just need to believe in myself a bit more - and get a better night's sleep next time.