Monday 30 November 2009

Almost picture perfect

A Christmas Carol (PG)
Dir: Robert Zemeckis
Jim Carrey, Gary Oldman, Colin Firth
Running time: 96 minutes

THE NEW version of A Christmas Carol introduces another generation to this classic tale in brilliant style.

Robert Zemeckis' production may use the modern wonders of 3D animation but remains largely faithful to the original text with much of the script unaltered.

Arguably, Charles Dickens' wonderfully descriptive writing style leaves little room for deviation but Zemeckis still deserves credit for keeping traditionalists like me happy.

Jim Carrey provides the voice of miser Ebenezer Scrooge with a good understanding of the required tone.

At first, Scrooge is an unsympathetic old man who refuses to celebrate Christmas.

He suggests that the poor should live in prisons or workhouses, or better still, they should die to decrease the surplus population of the world.

But, as the film progresses, Scrooge is shown to be vulnerable too and he wishes to repent well before the visit of the final ghost, The Spirit of Christmas Yet To Come.

Carrey is ably supported by Gary Oldman who voices humble clerk Bob Crachett to a tee, as well as the ghost of Jacob Marley, Scrooge's former partner who has been dead for seven years.

Marley promises that three spirits will visit Scrooge in an attempt to show him the error of his miserly ways.

The visits of the three spirits, the Ghost of Christmas Past, the Ghost of Christmas Present, and the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come, form the basis of the main part of the film.

The three ghosts, each played by Carrey, are all excellent representations of Dickens' descriptions.

The Ghost of Christmas Past is a flickering candle flame who uses a metal cap used to extinguish himself once his visit is over.

The Ghost of Christmas Present is a large Santa Claus figure, a jolly giant in a fur-lined robe, who makes his first appearance atop a Christmas tree.

And the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come, is a cloaked phantom, similar to the Grim Reaper, with a bony hand and fingers which point the way.

Unfortunately, the film threatens to drift just as it should be reaching its climax.

A miniature Scrooge with an unfathomably squeaky voice is chased through London by the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come on horseback.

The scene seemed to serve little purpose other than to show off the new 3D technology.

This is despite the fact that the 3D effects had already been successfully included during the course of the film - and with far more subtlety.

Snow appears to fall inches from your face throughout while the flying scenes around London with the other ghosts make for a thrilling experience unless you are easily travel sick.

Thankfully, once the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come's chase is over, the plot gets back on track with a fright at the famous graveyard scene.

Scrooge wakes up the next day and repents, promising in particular to help his clerk Bob Crachett and his ill son, Tiny Tim.

But, except for one rather unnecessary scene, there is gladly no need for an apology from the makers of this fine production.

Thursday 26 November 2009

Under pressure

MY THIRD driving test failure was perhaps the most inevitable of them all in the end.

Despite the experience of two earlier attempts, this was the first time that I felt an unbearable pressure to pass.

After relatively close calls on my first two tries, I expected myself to pass in the run-up to this latest test but failed with four minors and a serious.

My big mouth had blurted the date to all and sundry and so I put myself under even more pressure. Ultimately, my biggest worry was disappointing people.

I had taken the evening before the test off work. This leave had been taken before the result of my second test as I intended to visit York City for the Minstermen's match against my home town, Gateshead in the Blue Square Premier.

But, having failed on the second attempt, I ditched my trip to York as I had arranged for my next attempt for what would be the following morning.

I kept the annual leave, expecting to use the day to relax. But the time off had the opposite effect, serving to extend the length of time in which the nerves could build up.

At midnight, I settled myself down for what I hoped would be a good night of sleep.

Instead, I tossed and turned in bed for a few hours before a full-scale panic attack which had me sweating from every pore.

My anxiety was so bad that no rational explanation could calm me down and, due to the resultant insomnia, I expected that I may even have to cancel.

Eventually, pure exhaustion from the stress got me a few hours of shut-eye and I awoke in a slightly more positive mindset.

I was not feeling as tired as I thought I would be and my morning practice drive with instructor David Convery was of a reasonable standard.

It seemed somewhat remarkable given my previous state but, by mid-morning, I had calmed down sufficiently to sit the test at Gateshead test centre on Wellington Road in Dunston.

Still, I was hardly nerveless and early jitters meant that I made an error at my point-of-turn on a bay park, which was the first exercise after the sight test and show me/tell me questions.

I was able to correct this when straightening up, though, and headed towards the Teams where I was asked to do my second manoeuvre, a turn-in-the-road.

The turn-in-the-road was the element upon which I had surprisingly failed on my previous attempt.

But I had been practising the manoeuvre since the start of this driving process in June and that fail proved to be the exception rather than the rule as I found no difficulties this time.

From there, I went across the Waggon Team roundabout towards Lobley Hill before driving down Dunston Bank and across the crossroads at the bottom onto the A1.

I drove for just a mile on the carriageway in pouring rain and high winds, leaving at the third exit, signposted for Blaydon/Consett.

The next part of the test was where I made my latest crucial error as my tired brain confused the lane arrangement at a roundabout after the slip road.

The slip road had put me in the middle lane of three with a road merging from the left for the same direction and a separate right-hand lane for turning right.

Instead of using the middle lane on the roundabout, I chose the right-hand lane and narrowly avoided an accident by swerving to the correct exit.

I had confused being in the right-hand lane turning right with being on the right-hand side of two lanes going left.

It was a fundamental error and, I assure you, not one which I would usually do.

But I knew straightaway that it had cost me a chance of passing and the final few roundabouts back to the test centre were a case of going through the motions.

Ultimately, it was my concentration which had given way, just like my nerve had on the previous night. The lack of sleep from the latter undoubtedly resulted in the former.

Yet the test had an oddly cathartic effect of convincing me once again that I was a competent driver. Despite another bad mistake, I had reduced the number of minor errors to just four.

I think I just need to believe in myself a bit more - and get a better night's sleep next time.

Wednesday 18 November 2009

World Cup Round-up

Europe playoffs, second leg
France 1-1 Republic of Ireland (after extra time)
France won 2-1 on aggregate, aet, and qualify for World Cup 2010.

REPUBLIC OF IRELAND suffered World Cup heartbreak as France fluked their way to the finals thanks to a helping hand from Thierry Henry.

Henry's former Arsenal team mate William Gallas scored the winning goal in extra time with the French winning 2-1 on aggregate in Paris.

Looking to make up their one-goal deficit from the first leg defeat in Dublin, the Irish started the match positively as Liam Lawrence tried to set up first Robbie Keane and then Kevin Doyle.

Giovanni Trapattoni's men got their reward on 33 minutes when Fulham's Damien Duff got to the byline and pulled the ball back for Keane to finish in the bottom corner.

The Irish continued to press in the second half as John O'Shea fired over the bar at the back post before Duff and Keane both had efforts saved by French keeper Hugo Lloris.

France finished the match stronger but Republic of Ireland did enough to take the tie into extra time, a dream situation for the Irish after the first leg result.

But a cynical side of Raymond Domenech's team was revealed as their desperation for a finals place became more and more desperate.

Nicolas Anelka dived over the sprawling arms of Shay Given looking for a penalty even though he had dived and the ball had run out of play.

Moments later, the French, enjoying their best spell in the game, put the ball past Given but Henry's attempt was correctly ruled out for offside.

The Irish were under increasing pressure but the defence looked to be holding a good line as another ball was pumped forward.

Henry was in an offside position, then blatantly controlled the ball with his hand to stop it running out for a goal kick before pulling it back to Gallas for a simple finish in the 103rd minute.
The whole Irish defence protested but Swedish referee Martin Hansson remained unmoved.

As the game faded away, Hansson spotted a separate handball by Anelka - it was a cruel decision for Ireland who had little luck all night.

Exhausted and unable to mount a counter attack of their own, Republic of Ireland were out. France are somehow through to the finals.


Bosnia-Herzegovina 0-1 Portugal
Portugal won 2-0 on aggregate, and qualify for World Cup 2010.

WORLD CUP 2006 semi finalists Portugal eased their way to the World Cup finals as a 1-0 win against Bosnia-Herzegovina in Sarajevo gave them a 2-0 aggregate victory.

Jose Raul Meireles scored after 55 minutes with a neat finish in the bottom corner as the Portuguese, without Cristiano Ronaldo, saw off a spirited Bosnian challenge .

Despite losing 1-0 in Lisbon, Bosnia had given a fine display, hitting the woodwork three times, as they looked to qualify for their first major finals.

But the Bosnians were not able to give a repeat of that performance in front of the home fans as Carlos Queiroz's Portugal held off the remaining challenge easily.

Needing three goals after Meireles' effort, the night got worse for Bosnia when Sejad Salihovic was sent off on 77 minutes.


Slovenia 1-0 Russia
2-2 on aggregate. Slovenia won on away goals, and qualify for World Cup 2010.

SLOVENIA surprised nine-man Russia who suffered the fate of losing on the away goals rule, having given away a two-goal lead in the tie.

Zlatko Dedic gave the Slovenians the lead on the stroke of half time, as a static Russian defence failed to stop him from converting in the bottom corner.

Russia had dominated the first leg in Moscow but a late Slovenian goal changed there changed the course of this tie.

Dedic's goal put Slovenia ahead in the tie and it got worse for Hiddink's men when substitute Alexander Kerzhakov was sent off for by Norwegian referee Terje Hauge.

Kerzhakov was dismissed on 66 minutes after leading with his studs in a challenge against Slovenia goalkeeper Samir Handanovic.

Russia still chased the game in a positive fashion and striker Yuri Zhirkov produced a good stop by Handanovic.

But their hopes ended when Zhirkov was sent off after receiving two yellow cards in stoppage time.

Matjaz Kek's Slovenia were the lowest-ranked playoff contenders and qualify for only their second World Cup finals, after an appearance in 2002.

Russia's highly-rated Dutch coach Guus Hiddink may now consider offers from elsewhere.


Ukraine 0-1 Greece
Greece won 1-0 on aggregate, and qualify for World Cup 2010.

GREECE qualified for only their second World Cup finals appearance after an impressive 1-0 defeat of Ukraine in Donetsk.

Ukraine had dominated the goalless first leg in Athens and hoped home advantage would see them qualify for a second successive finals.

But Dimitris Salpigidis decided the result in the Greeks' favour after another tight tie on 30 minutes when he slid home a through ball by Giorgios Samaras.

The Ukrainians desperately searched for an equaliser but Greece's infamous rearguard held firm.

Greece relied mainly on its defence for the extraordinary Euro 2004 triumph.

But their last, and so far only, World Cup appearance was less successful with all three group games lost without scoring in 1994.

Now, legendary German coach Otto Rehhagel has given his team the chance to consign that record to history.


Africa playoff
Egypt 0-1 Algeria (in Sudan)
Algeria qualify for World Cup 2010.

ALGERIA qualified for their first World Cup finals since 1986, beating North African rivals Egypt 1-0 in an unsurprisingly bad-tempered match in neutral Sudan.

Antan Yahia scored a brilliant volley from the edge of the box just before half time to settle the tie in the Algerians' favour.

The build-up to this clash had been dominated by possible violence between the fans.

But, while that threat was controlled by security forces in Khartoum, the trouble on the pitch erupted immediately with Portsmouth defender Nadir Belhadj booked after just 56 seconds.

It looked like it was going to be a long night for the officials when, on three minutes, an innocuous foul led to a brawl in the middle of the pitch.

But, after Seychellois referee Eddy Maillet restored order, some football was finally played and Algeria fashioned the best chance of the early stages through Yahia.

Egypt, who beat the Algerians 2-0 on Saturday to force this decider, came back as Mohamed Aboutrika put his volley wide

But, just as the first half looked to be drawing to a stalemate, Yahia struck to send one half of the 42,000 capacity crowd into delirium.

Early in the second half, Algeria could have killed off the tie but Rafik Saifi shot straight at the Egypt goalkeeper Essam El Hadari who was having a good game.

Realising their World Cup hopes were diminishing fast, Egypt pressed but the wasteful Aboutrika timed his header badly, blazing it over the bar.

But the Pharaohs still did not give up and only a last-ditch save from Faouzi Chaouchi prevented them levelling the tie.

With fully seven minutes of stoppages announced, a further Egyptian push was expected.

But, except for a lame penalty appeal and a few high balls into the box, Algeria saw the last few minutes through easily.

After becoming the last African country to qualify, the Algerian celebrations on the final whistle was unsurprisingly one of the most passionate parties in the whole qualification process.


Americas playoff, second leg
Uruguay 1-1 Costa Rica
Uruguay won 2-1 on aggregate, and qualify for World Cup 2010.

URUGUAY booked the last tickets for South Africa by beating Costa Rica 2-1 on aggregate to qualify for World Cup 2010.

Leading 1-0 from the first leg, the Uruguayans passage to the finals looked simple as a Sebastian Abreu goal made it 1-0 in the Centenario in Montevideo and 2-0 on aggregate.

The South Americans continued to dominate with former Manchester United striker Diego Forlan particularly guilty of missing chances to kill the tie off.

Uruguay's profligacy looked like it could cost them when Walter Centeno pulled a goal back out of the blue for Costa Rica.

That strike meant The Ticos needed only one more goal to qualify on away goals.

After a five-minute delay due to a melee between the benches, Uruguay withdrew their playmaker Nicolas Lodeiro as they looked to see the game out.

The defensive strategy nearly cost the Uruguayans dear as Bristol City's Alvaro Saborio missed a huge opportunity to put the Costa Ricans ahead in the tie.

But, having survived the scare, Uruguay went back on the attack for the final spell of the game, denying Costa Rica a third successive finals appearance.


Full list of Qualifiers
Hosts: SOUTH AFRICA
Africa: ALGERIA, CAMEROON, GHANA, IVORY COAST, NIGERIA.
Asia-Oceania: AUSTRALIA, JAPAN, NEW ZEALAND, NORTH KOREA, SOUTH KOREA.
Europe: DENMARK, ENGLAND, FRANCE, GERMANY, GREECE, ITALY, NETHERLANDS, PORTUGAL, SERBIA, SLOVENIA, SLOVAKIA, SPAIN, SWITZERLAND.
North/Central America: HONDURAS, MEXICO, UNITED STATES.
South America: ARGENTINA, BRAZIL, CHILE, PARAGUAY, URUGUAY.
The World Cup finals draw from Cape Town is on Friday, December 4 at 1700 GMT.

Tuesday 17 November 2009

Forty years of The Sun

THE SUN celebrated forty years as a tabloid today in typically brash style with pull-outs, celebrity interviews and prime-time television advertisements.

It has a chequered history, to say the least, but remains Britain's most popular daily with just under three million sales and a readership of almost eight million.

The tabloid version of the paper was actually pre-dated by a broadsheet which had replaced the loss-making Daily Herald in 1964.

The broadsheet continued to lose circulation and money which led to owners International Press Corporation putting it up for sale.

Enter Rupert Murdoch. He had recently acquired the News Of The World and was looking to add a daily as a stable mate.

The Daily Herald had been a Labour-supporting newspaper and Murdoch vowed to retain its political allegiance, appointing socialist Larry Lamb as its first editor.

But that all changed in the late 1970s when the James Callaghan government stumbled from one crisis to the next.

The Sun switched sides in the run-up to the 1979 election and left its readers in no doubt that it thought they should do the same.

'Vote Tory This Time' was its unequivocal headline and the public duly did so, giving Margaret Thatcher a landslide election win.

Kelvin McKenzie became editor in 1981 and remained loyal to the Conservatives throughout Mrs Thatcher's premiership in the 1980s.

Notably, it supported the government during the Miners' Strike and, later in the decade, the introduction of the poll tax which would effectively bring to an end the Thatcher era.

The 1980s would also feature a circulation war between The Sun and The Daily Mirror with price cuts and an emphasis on brash headlines.

The battle with The Daily Mirror explains, partly at least, why The Sun became more jingoistic than previously.

On the sinking of Argentine gunboat Belgrano during the Falklands War, 'Gotcha' was the front-page headline.

Labour leaders Michael Foot and Neil Kinnock were lampooned mercilessly alongside other figures on the Left of British politics.

Mr Foot was judged as being too old before the 1983 election but The Sun supported the re-election of conservative Ronald Reagan to the US Presidency a year later.

This was despite the fact that President Reagan was two years older than Mr Foot.

During the Miners' Strike, The Sun prepared a front-page with a photograph which made Trade Union leader Arthur Scargill look like he was doing Nazi salute.

The printers, in disgust, refused to publish it. But they would be the next victims when Murdoch moved the paper to Wapping and nearly all of them lost their jobs.

On the back pages, England football manager Bobby Robson also suffered as a result of the tabloid war with false allegations about his private life.

After a 0-0 draw with Saudi Arabia in the build-up to World Cup 1990, the paper pleaded, 'In The Name Of Allah, Go!' Robson would lead England to the semi-finals.

His successor Graham Taylor got an even worse press as an ageing England team struggled at the Euro 92 finals and failed to qualify for World Cup 1994.

After failing to beat Sweden in 1992, Taylor was branded a 'turnip'. His face was super-imposed on a picture of a turnip on account he could not beat the Swedes, a pun on the other root vegetable.

It was an image which stuck in the mind of the public and, undoubtedly, it dealt a blow to Taylor's reputation for the rest of his time in charge.

But McKenzie's most shameful football moment came in 1989 when, under the headline 'The Truth', The Sun reported on the tragic events at Hillsborough Stadium.

It blamed Liverpool fans for causing a crush which killed 92 people and accused the fans of robbing the victims and preventing them from receiving help even though the opposite was true.

The Sun's sales figures on Liverpool have never recovered since, even when the paper hit its record high circulation in November 1995 of 4.8 million copies.

The birth of the Internet and 24-hour news broadcasts put an end to those kinds of figures. But The Sun remains powerful in political circles.

After its switch in 1979 and the successful prediction in 1992 that John Major would gain an unlikely election victory, The Sun has always liked to look as if it is backing a winner.

In the run up to the 1997 election, New Labour director of communication Alastair Campbell held meetings with Murdoch to ensure Tony Blair would get the paper's endorsement.

Like Mrs Thatcher 18 years before him, Mr Blair was elected by a landslide.

Mr Blair retained The Sun's support throughout his premiership as he disgruntled many in his party faithful by mainly pursuing Thatcherite policies such as privatisation.

More recently, of course, The Sun has returned to supporting the Conservatives at the next election with the front-page headline 'Labour's Lost It'.

This is a recognition that Mr Blair's replacement Gordon Brown is looking as beleaguered a figure as Mr Major in 1997 and The Sun dare not risk supporting him.

Their move is still a risk - there are months until election day and polls suggest that the public remain somewhat sceptical of David Cameron's Conservatives.

A recent attempt by The Sun to smear Mr Brown's sincerity towards the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan also back-fired.

The story came about after Mr Brown wrote an untidy letter with several spelling mistakes to a recently bereaved family of a soldier.

But most people have felt it unreasonable to criticise the PM for his poor handwriting on account of his poor eyesight and indeed praised him for his sincerity in writing to each of the bereaved soldiers' families personally.

So... political flip-flopping, jingoism, fabrication, smears. How does The Sun remain so popular?

Well, I think personally that it remains an entertaining read. In particular, it has continued its tradition of memorable headlines in recent years.

'How Do You Solve A Problem Like Korea' when North Korea tested a nuclear weapon and 'Super Cally Go Ballistic, Celtic are Atrocious' when Inverness beat Celtic in the Scottish Cup stick out.

Also, many of its mainly male readership will buy the paper for its extensive football coverage, and some others just to ogle at Page 3, rather than its right-wing political coverage.

Its status as Britain's biggest-selling daily is in some ways self-fulfilling as PR firms flock to get their celebrity client an interview or their book serialised.

This has become particularly evident since the advent and subsequent popularity of telly talent contest such as the X Factor and Britain's Got Talent.

To its credit, The Sun provides unmatched offers to its readers with the most famous being the annual £9.50 holiday giveaways.

Campaigns such as the Help For Heroes charity and the long-running Free Books for Schools also hit a public note.

Finally, its website is now much-improved from the untidy effort with which it began.

Figures showing that there were 22,994,391 unique users in the month of September are a testament to its improvement.

That puts it in fourth place in the increasingly important battle for online readership, behind The Mail, The Guardian and The Telegraph.

Now, to see if Murdoch's next move will pay off - a plan to charge readers a fee for reading online news on News International websites.

The surprising result of a study by the Boston Consulting Group shows that apparently 48% of the public would be willing to pay.

But I remain sceptical that The Sun, or indeed The Times, is popular enough for that.

Surely, readers would just go elsewhere.

Saturday 14 November 2009

World Cup Round-up

Europe playoffs, first leg
Greece 0-0 Ukraine
Portugal 1-0 Bosnia-Herzegovina
Republic of Ireland 0-1 France
Russia 2-1 Slovenia

FRANCE dealt a severe blow to Republic of Ireland's chances of World Cup qualification after a 1-0 win at Croke Park in Dublin.

Nicolas Anelka's deflected strike was the only goal but it was no more than France deserved after an industrious second half showing.

The French started brightly and lone striker Andre-Pierre Gignac had the ball in the net after 11 minutes but he was correctly ruled offside.

But, in a tight first half, the Irish had the best chance when Liam Lawrence's shot was prodded away by Patrice Evra with the goalkeeper stranded.

France began the second period with a hitherto unseen vigour, dominating possession and playing almost exclusively in the Irish half.

Eventually the pressure told. With 20 minutes left, a layoff by Lassana Diarra set up Chelsea striker Anelka.

He hit a shot from the edge of the box which went into the net via the unlucky Sean St Ledger and has left Ireland with it all to do.

It could have been worse for Ireland after Kevin Kilbane's sloppy back pass.

But after Anelka's initial shot was blocked, and with goalkeeper Shay Given on the ground, Gignac's follow up went woefully wide for a throw-in.

Ireland had a late chance to rescue a draw after an error by Eric Abidal.

The Barcelona defender gave the ball away to Robbie Keane who laid it off to the unmarked Glenn Whelan in the box but French goalkeeper Hugo Lloris smothered the danger.

A scuffle at the full time whistle was a clear demonstration of Irish frustration as the loss added to a terrible playoff record in which they have won just once in nine games.

But this was the first time they have lost the first leg and, having conceded an away goal, Giovanni Trapattoni's men face a huge task in Paris.


Looking to make their first World Cup finals appearance, Bosnia-Herzegovina also lost by a single goal in their first leg against Portugal.

The Portuguese were without Cristiano Ronaldo but had the best of the early action in Lisbon, and scored after 31 minutes through a Bruno Alves header.

But the unlucky Bosnians responded and, in a spirited comeback, hit the woodwork no fewer than three times.

Portugal held out but have showed they are vulnerable and Bosnia will still have high hopes of turning the tie around back home in Sarajevo.


Russia will take a narrow lead to Slovenia after a brace from Diniyar Bilyaletdinov gave them a 2-1 win in the first leg in Moscow.

The Everton midfielder struck either side of half time to give Guus Hiddink's team a comfortable and well-deserved two-goal lead.

But Hiddink will be furious as the Russians relaxed in the last five minutes and gave Slovenia an unlikely way back in the tie.

Nejc Pečnik halved the deficit with a possibly vital away goal before the Slovenians also hit the post in stoppage time.

Russia may have won the match but Slovenia will be encouraged by their late surge and will look to capitalise fully in the second match in Maribor.


There is everything to play for in the fourth tie as Greece and Ukraine cancelled each other out in a 0-0 draw in Athens.

Chances at both ends were at a premium in a poor game which did little to enhance the prospect of either team making a splash in South Africa next summer.

If anything, Ukraine had the better of the tie but could not find an away goal, much to the Greeks' relief.

Liverpool defender Sotiris Kyrgiakos had the best chance in stoppage time but missed the target with his header, leaving the tie delicately poised for the second leg in Donetsk.


Africa
The five group winners qualify for the finals.

CAMEROON and Nigeria both won to join Ivory Coast and Ghana in qualifying for the World Cup finals.

But the identity of the fifth African qualifier remains unknown after a goal deep into stoppage time gave Egypt a 2-0 win against Algeria.

The late goal, scored Emab Moteab, gave the Egyptians an identical record to the Algerians, meaning the final place will be decided by a playoff on neutral territory in Sudan.

While that promises to be another thrilling spectacle, Cameroon can finally relax after winning 2-0 away in Morocco and qualifying from Group A in the final round of matches.

The Indomitable Lions started the process slowly with a 1-0 defeat in Togo and a 0-0 home draw against the Moroccans.

But four straight wins ensured Cameroon's sixth finals appearance, a record for the African continent.

Gabon finished second on nine points, despite a final day defeat to Togo, which would have been enough for Cameroon to progress regardless of the result in Fez.

Togo's win meant they finished disappointingly in third on eight points with Morocco bottom and without a win on three points.

Meanwhile, former Newcastle United striker Obafemi Martins scored twice as Nigeria qualified thanks to a fine second half display and a slip up by Tunisia in Group B.

The Tunisians have led the group for most of the campaign but suffered a shock 1-0 defeat after a late Mozambique goal in Maputo.

To qualify, Nigeria still needed a win but they fell behind to bottom-placed Kenya after just 16 minutes.

Two goals in three minutes midway through the second half from Martins and Everton's Aiyegbeni Yakubu seemed to have turned the match in the Nigerians' favour.

But, with 11 minutes left in Nairobi, the Kenyans scored an equaliser and it looked like the Super Eagles were out and Tunisia through.

Just four minutes later, though, that situation was reversed as Martins struck his second to prevent a repeat of Nigeria's failure to qualify four years ago.

Algeria looked as if they would qualify for their first World Cup finals since 1986 from Group C until Egypt's dramatic second goal in Cairo which gave the two teams an identical record.

The Egyptians got the perfect start when former Wigan Athletic striker Amr Zaki scored after just two minutes.

Despite wave after wave of Egypt attacks after that early boost, the Algerians held firm and as the clock ticked into the 95th minute, they looked like they had done enough.

But Moteab scored with almost the last kick of the game to keep alive the Pharaoh's World Cup dreams and spark wild celebrations around the stadium.

A playoff in neutral Sudan on Wednesday will now determine the winner of Group C.

Matters in Groups D and E had already been settled before the last qualifying matches with Ivory Coast and Ghana both racking up a second successive World Cup finals showing.

Ghana completed their Group D campaign with a 2-2 home draw against Mali. Benin beat Sudan 2-1 to finish second, surprisingly above the Malians.

In Group E, Ivory Coast finished unbeaten with 16 points out of a possible 18 after an easy 3-0 win over bottom-placed Guinea.

That took the Ivorians onto 19 goals from their six matches, the highest of any team in the continent.

And, though he was not on the score-sheet against the Guineans, Chelsea's Didier Drogba was the continent's top scorer in qualifying with six goals.

Burkina Faso finished second in the group on 12 points after beating Malawi 1-0.

Group A: Cameroon 13 (Q), Gabon 9, Togo 8, Morocco 3
Group B: Nigeria 12 (Q), Tunisia 11, Mozambique 7, Kenya 3
Group C: Algeria 13, Egypt 13, Zambia 5, Rwanda 2
Group D: Ghana 13 (Q), Benin 10, Mali 9, Sudan 1
Group E: Ivory Coast 16 (Q), Burkina Faso 12, Malawi 4, Guinea 3


Asia-Oceania playoff, second leg
New Zealand 1-0 Bahrain
New Zealand won 1-0 on aggregate and qualify for the World Cup

NEW ZEALAND qualified for only their second World Cup finals appearance after a 1-0 win against Bahrain in Wellington.

Rory Fallon scored the decisive goal on the stroke of half-time with a header from a corner as the All Whites made it to their first finals since 1982.

After a goalless first leg, Bahrain knew a score draw would send them through on the away goals rule.

And, early in the second half, the Bahrainis had the perfect chance to equalise when Tony Lochhead fouled Abdulla Omar.

But Sayed Adnan's weak penalty was saved by Kiwi keeper Mark Paston and it was as close as Bahrain would come.

The All Whites held out comfortably and the full time whistle resulted in a joyous outpouring of celebration.

For Bahrain, who dominated the first leg, this was a familiar feeling of failure. They lost at the same stage in the World Cup 2006 in a playoff against Trinidad & Tobago.


Americas playoff, first leg
Costa Rica 0-1 Uruguay

URUGUAY took a massive step towards a place in the World Cup finals after beating Costa Rica 1-0 in San Jose.

Diego Lugano scored the only goal on 21 minutes, prodding the ball from close range after the Costa Ricans failed to deal with a corner adequately.

It got even worse for the home side just after half time when Randall Azofeifa was sent off for two bookings following a crude challenge.

The Ticos still continued to threaten until they tired in the last 10 minutes but Uruguay were unable to score a second and possibly kill the tie off.

Nevertheless, the South Americans will be confident of completing the job at the Centenario in Montevideo on Wednesday.


Qualifiers
Hosts: SOUTH AFRICA
Africa: CAMEROON, GHANA, IVORY COAST, NIGERIA
Asia: AUSTRALIA, JAPAN, NORTH KOREA, SOUTH KOREA
Europe: DENMARK, ENGLAND, GERMANY, ITALY, NETHERLANDS, SERBIA, SLOVAKIA, SPAIN, SWITZERLAND
North/Central America: HONDURAS, MEXICO, UNITED STATES
South America: ARGENTINA, BRAZIL, CHILE, PARAGUAY
Oceania: NEW ZEALAND
26 of 32 teams. Six remaining places to be decided by playoffs - one from Africa, four from Europe and one from the Americas.
Note: Australia, while geographically in Oceania, qualified from the Asia zone as members of the AFC.

Thursday 12 November 2009

The Season 2009/10 - October/November: Chelsea stretch their lead

Premier League
Table
CHELSEA stretched their lead at the top of the Premier League to five points after a tight 1-0 win over title rivals Manchester United at Stamford Bridge.

John Terry scored the only goal on 76 minutes, heading in Frank Lampard's free kick.

The goal stood despite protests from United players that Didier Drogba had fouled Wes Brown and interfered with play in an offside position.

The result meant Carlo Ancelotti's Blues kept their perfect home record and continued their run of clean sheets at home stretching back to the opening day.

More importantly, it puts them on 30 points from 12 games and opens up a gap to United and second-placed Arsenal on 25 points.

Arsenal have a game in hand on both Chelsea and United, and also have the best goal difference having hit 36 goals in a number of thumping wins in the league.

The loss at Stamford Bridge was United's second noteworthy reverse in two weeks after being easily second-best in a 2-0 loss to Liverpool at Anfield.

But, out of the traditional Big Four teams, only Liverpool are well adrift after a wretched last few weeks.

At one stage, the Reds had lost six times in seven matches in all competitions, with only the victory over United for comfort.

There were defeats in the league at Fulham and at the Stadium of Light against Sunderland where a deflection off a beachball decided their fate.

The run which leaves Liverpool in seventh, 11 points adrift of Chelsea. They are out of the League Cup and on the brink in the Champions League.

Only the FA Cup may be a possible saving grace for Rafa Benitez but his team's form showed no signs of improving in a 2-2 draw against Birmingham City.

The season has brutally exposed Liverpool's reliance on Fernando Torres and Steven Gerrard, both of whom have struggled with injuries, and their folly in not replacing Xabi Alonso adequately.

But the good news for the Anfield club is that, mainly through the faults of others, they remain just three points away from a Champions League spot.

Tottenham Hotspur still occupy fourth place at the moment on 22 points.

But Harry Redknapp's men have failed to win consecutive league matches since August and recent showings suggest Spurs may be on the slide.

Woeful defending in the North London derby helped Arsenal to a serene 3-0 win and maintained the Gunners' record of not having lost a league derby since 1999.

Of all the pretenders, fifth-placed Aston Villa look most likely to take fourth off Spurs after an excellent last few weeks in which they beat Chelsea and thrashed Bolton Wanderers 5-1.

Villa are now up to 21 points but this is largely thanks to their home form. Their last away win was in the Birmingham derby in mid-September.

Big-spending Manchester City have laboured to five successive draws which leave them in sixth on 20 points.

But, though their challenge for the title seems to have faded, City would return to the top four by winning their game in hand.

At the bottom, Hull City and, specifically, Phil Brown's future have dominated the last few weeks.

After a 2-0 loss to new boys Burnley, Hull dropped into the relegation zone and Brown looked as if he would be the first top-flight manager to lose his job this season.

But instead Paul Duffen's tenure as chairman ended and he was replaced by Adam Pearson, who has backed Brown - for now.

Last weekend, Hull gained a morale-boosting last-minute win over Stoke City despite falling behind.

The 2-1 success was only the Tigers' third win of this season - all of which have come at home - and indeed only their fourth of the calendar year.

It put Hull on 11 points from 12 games and lifted Brown's team out of the bottom three after Wolverhampton Wanderers, West Ham United and Portsmouth all lost.

Pompey, who lost their first seven games, have shown signs of turning their season around, with their outstanding moment being a particular fine 4-0 win over Wigan Athletic.

But a 3-1 defeat to Blackburn Rovers, having held the lead, left Paul Hart's men bottom on seven points and showed there are still many vulnerabilities on the south coast.

West Ham also continue to struggle. Their recent 2-1 home win over Aston Villa was much-needed as it was their only league win since the opening day.

The Hammers remain second-bottom with just 10 points.

Wolves are also on just 10 points and complete the bottom three having failed to win any of their last six matches.

Hull and Bolton are just outside the drop zone on 11 points and, while Hull's defensive problems are well documented, Bolton have conceded 13 goals in their last three league and cup games.


The Championship
Table
NEWCASTLE UNITED boss Chris Hughton celebrated his appointment as permanent manager by keeping the Magpies top of the table after 16 matches.

Hughton had worked wonders in his third spell as caretaker manager, boosting the morale of a relegated squad and winning manager of the month for the division in August and September.

A run of four games without a win had ceded the slight advantage which had been built up by the end of September.

But three consecutive wins since then has put Newcastle on 33 points and established a gap of six points to third-placed Cardiff City.

Only West Bromwich Albion, who were also relegated last season, can live with the current pace being set by Newcastle.

The Baggies are just two points behind with a better goal difference, helped in no small way by their biggest win of the season against Watford (5-0) in their last home match.

It is Cardiff in third, on 27 points, though, who have scored the most goals in the league with 33 so far in the league.

Strike pairing Michael Chopra and Peter Whittingham are first and second in the top scorer standings with 11 and 10 goals apiece.

But the 3-2 loss to Swansea City last weekend, however, leaves Bluebirds in the pack and without a derby win since 1997.

Queens Park Rangers, Blackpool and Leicester City make up the other three playoff places and are also on 27 points after impressive recent runs.

The in-form Rs have lost just once in their last six matches and scored four goals in each of their three successive league wins against Preston North End, Reading and Derby County.

Blackpool have won six of their eight home games - and drawn the other two - putting them in their highest league position for years.

The Tangerines are unbeaten in their last five league matches, home and away.

Leicester had also been on an excellent run of seven matches unbeaten until West Brom won 2-1 at the Walkers Stadium last weekend.

And that loss for Nigel Pearson's Foxes leaves Bristol City and Nottingham Forest on their tales.

City are seventh on 26 points on an unbeaten run of seven matches while Forest are a further point behind in eighth and unbeaten in eight, having yet to lose away.

It was perhaps no surprise to see these two form sides draw 1-1 at the City Ground on Saturday.

But it is Swansea with the longest current unbeaten sequence in the division.

The Swans struggled early on but have now gone 10 games without defeat to lift themselves to ninth, level on points with Forest.

What Middlesbrough and Preston would give for that sort of run, now. Both were early promotion contenders but have dropped off the pace into midtable on 24 points, along with 12th-placed Watford.

Boro sacked manager Gareth Southgate despite a 2-0 home win against Derby - but new manager Gordon Strachan has lost his opening two games.

The win over the Rams is therefore Boro's only success in their last five matches. Preston's record is even worse with just one win in seven.

Peterborough United are in even worse form and are unsurprisingly bottom with just 11 points.

The Posh have won only twice all season and a run of nine matches without a win signalled the end for manager Darren Ferguson.

Sentiment counts for little to ambitious Posh and, despite two successive promotions, Ferguson was sacked earlier this week after their 3-1 loss to Newcastle at the weekend.

Ipswich Town can be relieved to have hauled themselves off the bottom and indeed to have picked up their first league win of the season at the 13th attempt.

But the season still looks to be a long, hard struggle for Roy Keane's team.

They remain second-bottom on just 12 points and their unbeaten run of five games somewhat disguises the fact that four of those have been 1-1 draws.

Reading complete the trio in the drop zone on 14 points and Brendan Rogers will perhaps be next to feel the pressure.

The Royals were playoff semi-finalists last season under previous manager Steve Coppell but have failed to win at home for 17 games. That extraordinary run stretches back to January.

Fourth-bottom Plymouth Argyle have won their last two matches and show signs of improvement but their poor start keeps them just one point clear of relegation.

Doncaster Rovers are also on 15 points but have slipped down the table after a dreadful run of just one league win in their last 11 matches.


League One
Table
LEEDS UNITED have a seven-point lead at the top of League One after 15 matches.

United are playing their third successive season at this level but their start has made them odds-on to escape and avoid playoff heartache this time around.

Simon Grayson's men have 36 points and a goal difference of +21. They are unbeaten at home have lost just once this season at Millwall.

Charlton Athletic remain second on 29 points but Phil Parkinson's can seemingly no longer match Leeds' pace at the top.

A run of just one win in six league matches leaves the Addicks firmly back in the bunch with third-placed MK Dons level on points.

Paul Ince's Dons have won four of their last five games to climb the league and Colchester United in fourth are another team holding their own in the playoff places on 28 points.

That represents a real achievement by the Us who lost manager Paul Lambert to Norwich City after Lambert had masterminded a 7-1 thrashing of the Canaries on the opening day.

But new manager Aidy Boothroyd is a sound appointment at the Layer Road club whose loss to Millwall was their first in ten matches.

Lambert's new club Norwich have recovered from that opening day mauling and, with just one defeat in their last eight, the Canaries are currently fifth on 25 points.

That's just a point and a place ahead of Lee Clark's Huddersfield Town who have won three of their last four games after a slight dip in form.

Millwall's good run of form - four wins and two draws from six games - has put them level on points with the Terriers but the Lions are three goals worse off.

Eighth-placed Swindon Town and Bristol Rovers in ninth are two points further back on 22 points.

But Rovers have lost their last five league matches and may be glad for the early points they collected at the end of the season if that continues.

In more immediate danger of a return to League Two is Wycombe Wanderers who are now bottom with just eight points.

New manager Gary Waddock has a massive job to keep the Chairboys at this level. They have just one win all season - and that was back in August.

Despite ending the embarrassing John Barnes' reign prematurely, Tranmere Rovers also continue to look out of their depth on 10 points.

Rovers have lost five of their last six games and once again struggled defensively in their recent 4-1 loss to Swindon. They have now conceded 33 goals in the league.

Southampton look a better bet to stay up despite still occupying a relegation spot presently.

The Saints started the season on -15 but are now up to 12 points after four wins and a draw from their last five league games. Things are finally looking up at St Mary's Stadium.

Stockport County complete the current bottom four on 14 points after a run of just one win in seven league games.

Brighton & Hove Albion are just outside the relegation zone on goal difference only and will hope new manager Gus Poyet will improve a record of one win in the last eight league games.

Gillingham, on 15 points, and Leyton Orient, on 16 points, remain within one result of real trouble.


League Two
Table
BOURNEMOUTH enjoy a two-point advantage at the top of League Two after 15 matches but, more importantly, have won the battle to keep their manager.

Championship strugglers Peterborough United, who sacked Darren Ferguson this week, had sought 31-year-old Eddie Howe as a replacement.

But Howe has vowed to remain with the promotion-chasing Cherries who will be playing Posh in League One next season at this rate.

Rochdale, who have been in the basement division since 1974, are second on 29 points. The Dale are level on points with Dagenham & Redbridge who are unbeaten at home.

Notts County have moved menacingly into fourth, three points off the pace, under new manager Hans Backe after Ian McParland left by mutual consent.

Backe will be pleased to have inherited a strong squad for this level.

The Magpies, unbeaten at home, have scored the most goals in the division and, with the best goal difference, look set to make their move.

County are joined by early pace-setters Rotherham United and Chesterfield on 26 points in fifth and sixth place.

The Spireites can thank their home form - seven wins and a draw -for their lofty position as they aim to reach League One for the first time in three years.

Shrewsbury Town are in the last playoff place on 25 points with Barnet and Bury breathing down the Shrews neck on 24 points.

Darlington continue to struggle and are now nine points from safety. The Quakers are on just five points, with only one point on their travels all season.

It is fair to say that Steve Staunton's first club managerial position is a thankless task.

Grimsby Town fill the other relegation place and look set for another season of struggle. The Mariners finished third-bottom last season and stayed up only because of Luton Town's deduction.

Newly-promoted Torquay United are three points above the drop zone on 14 points with Cheltenham Town and Morecambe only one point clearer.


Blue Square Premier
Table
OXFORD UNITED have an eight point lead at the top of the Blue Square Premier after 18 games.

The Us have dropped just two points at home all season to put themselves on 43 points, a hugely strong position after more than a third of the season.

But the rest of the division can be consoled by an even bigger lead which Burton Albion lost last season, though the Brewers still ultimately went up as champions.

The likeliest challengers, if any, are Stevenage Borough and Kettering.

They are both on 35 points, though having failed to attract Bournemouth boss Eddie Howe, Peterborough are now looking at Kettering's Mark Cooper.

The rest of the top eight is all made up of former league clubs with Mansfield Town in fourth on 33 points and Luton Town in fifth on 32 points, the latter looking for an immediate return.

Sixth-placed York City moved within a point of the playoffs, albeit having played a game more, after a midweek 3-2 win over rock-bottom Chester City.

Chester remain in a rather hopeless position on -4 points, though three recent wins have at least made a decent dent in their -25 penalty.

Ebbsfleet United have not had a deduction but look almost as troubled on nine points. With just a single league win all season - and none at home - United are six points adrift of safety.

Forest Green Rovers and Grays Athletic are the other early strugglers on 12 points.

Both Forest Green and Grays are three points away from safety and both have worse a goal difference than their immediate rivals, Gateshead and Hayes & Yeading.

Tyneside club Gateshead announced ambitions plans this month to go full time from next season and move into a new stadium from 2011.

After two successive promotions in the last two campaigns, Ian Bogie's men are just doing enough in this term and keep those dreams alive.


FA Cup First Round
Second Round draw
STAINES TOWN were the story of the First Round proper after they won away at Shrewsbury Town on a memorable weekend for the minnows.

The Thames-side town was made famous by the fictional character Ali G but it was Ali C who won the tie with an early goal for the Blue Square South side.

Ali Chaaban scored the only goal of the match after a mazy 30-yard run as the Shrews fell at the first round for the fourth straight year.

Staines' reward in the Second Round is a home tie against Millwall who were in fine form to beat AFC Wimbledon 4-1.

In the other ties, Northwich Victoria breached a gap of 86 places in the football pyramid to beat former Premier League club Charlton Athletic.

Teenage substitute Wayne Riley scored the only goal of the live television game on 81 minutes, sliding a ball over the top past the goalkeeper.

Blue Square South team Bath City won easily away at League Two strugglers Grimsby Town. The tie was over inside 52 minutes when Bath took a 2-0 lead.

Blue Square Premier leaders Oxford United beat Yeovil Town 1-0 and another Blue Square team in good form, Kettering, won 1-0 away against at League One Hartlepool.

The Poppies will face Leeds United in the Second Round.

Blue Square Premier side York City defended their unbeaten home record after a remarkable comeback at Bootham Crescent.

Crew Alexandra were leading 2-1 with just four minutes left but the Minstermen were never out of the game and two late goals turned the tie on its head.

There was late drama elsewhere as Gateshead found a stoppage-time equaliser to draw 2-2 at home with Brentford who fielded former £7m Newcastle striker Carl Cort.

Stevenage Borough also did just enough to earn a replay with a late goal away at Port Vale and will fancy their chances in the replay at Broadhall Way.

But Luton Town looked as if they had thrown a Second Round place away.

Leading 3-0 at half time at home against Rochdale from the division above, the Dale were a different team in the second half, scoring two late goals to level the scores at 3-3.

As it happened, the Hatters surprisingly did it the hard way by winning 2-0 at Spotland to take their place against Rotherham United.

But the First Round proper proved to be a chastening experience for little Paulton Rovers, the lowest-ranked team who remained.

A 7-0 thrashing at the hands of Norwich City is not how the Bristol-based village side will have wanted to go out of this year's competition but their achievement was still a great one.

Huddersfield Town and Stockport County also enjoyed a big wins - 6-1 against Dagenham & Redbridge and 5-0 against Tooting & Mitcham, respectively.

Leeds beat Oldham Athletic 2-0 in the biggest tie of the round at Boundary Park.

Fellow League One strugglers Wycombe Wanderers and Brighton & Hove Albion shared eight goals at Adams Park in a 4-4 draw.

In all, 16 non-league sides are in the Second Round draw but Stevenage and Gateshead's places are subject to winning a replay.

Forest Green Rovers and Mansfield Town will contest an all-non-league replay.

And there will be at least three non-league sides in the Third Round after the Second Round draw put several of them together.

First Round results:
Accrington Stanley 2-1 Salisbury, AFC Telford 1-3 Lincoln City, Aldershot 2-0 Bury, Barnet 3-1 Darlington, Barrow 2-1 Eastleigh, Bristol Rovers 2-3 Southampton, Bromley 0-4 Colchester United, Burton Albion 3-2 Oxford City, Cambridge United 4-0 Ilkeston Town, Carlisle United 2-2 Morecambe, Chesterfield 1-3 AFC Bournemouth, Forest Green Rovers 1-1 Mansfield Town, Gateshead 2-2 Brentford, Gillingham 3-0 Southend United, Grimsby Town 0-2 Bath City, Hartlepool United 0-1 Kettering, Hereford United 2-0 Sutton United, Huddersfield Town 6-1 Dagenham & Redbridge, Luton Town 3-3 Rochdale, MK Dons 1-0 Macclesfield Town, Northampton Town 2-1 Fleetwood Town, Northwich Victoria 1-0 Charlton Athletic, Notts County 2-1 Bradford City, Nuneaton Borough 0-4 Exeter City, Oldham Athletic 0-2 Leeds United, Oxford United 1-0 Yeovil Town, Paulton Rovers 0-7 Norwich City, Port Vale 1-1 Stevenage Borough, Rushden & Diamonds 3-1 Hinckley United, Shrewsbury Town 0-1 Staines Town, Stockport County 5-0 Tooting & Mitcham, Stourbridge 0-1 Walsall, Swindon Town 1-0 Woking, Torquay United 3-1 Cheltenham Town, Tranmere Rovers 1-1 Leyton Orient, Wealdstone 2-3 Rotherham United, Wrexham 1-0 Lowestoft Town, Wycombe Wanderers 4-4 Brighton & Hove Albion, York City 3-2 Crewe Alexandra.

First Round Replay result:
Rochdale 0-2 Luton Town.

Sunday 8 November 2009

Lest we forget



In Flanders’ Fields

In Flanders’ Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders’ Fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders’ Fields.

Lt.-Col. John McCrae (1872-1918), Canadian physician and soldier in WWI.

Friday 6 November 2009

Court confusion

HEARTY congratulations to a good friend on a local newspaper are in order after he stood up and challenged Crown Court for the first time in his career.

In doing so, my friend proved two lawyers and the judge wrong, and ensured that his newspaper would not lose the story to an invalid court order.

The newspaper was looking to report the fact that some heinous toe rag had just been sent down for six years after stabbing his victim, only narrowly missing his heart.

The confusion arose because the case involved a 15-year-old defendant, a juvenile.

The lawyers and the judge thought that this gave him automatic anonymity under the Children and Young Persons Act 1933.

But section 49 of that Act which gives automatic anonymity only applies at a Youth Court.

In order for the defendant to be protected in an adult court, a section 39 order would need to be applied.

Any decent media law student will know the big difference - a section 39 order is not automatic. It must be announced to the court and logged in the records.

After checking that there was no section 39 order in place in this instance, my friend was more than happy to be able to correct the lawyers and the judge.

I understand that he now takes a well-earned break for a couple of weeks. Well done, again, mate!

Thursday 5 November 2009

Time for MPs to be true to their word

THE EVE of Guy Fawkes Night seems an appropriate date for Sir Christopher Kelly's report on the reform of MPs' expenses.

Fawkes was part of a group of Catholic conspirators who planned to blow up the Houses of Parliament in the Gunpowder Plot on November 5th, 1605.

Public mistrust of MPs, even before the expenses scandal, has led to Fawkes being jokingly labelled as the last man to enter Parliament with "honourable intentions".

But now, the public will hope - nay, expect - this current bunch of representatives to do the right thing by looking beyond their own self-interest.

Sir Christopher has done all he can. He has made his recommendations and gained the explicit support from the party leaders.

But it is up to all of the MPs to be as good as their leaders' word and accept the proposals "in full".

After all, Sir Christopher could have made life a whole lot harder for them - especially given the furore which followed The Telegraph's revelations in April.

Instead, he said he took a "cold, hard look at what went wrong" and came up with what he considers to be "reasonable and fair" solutions.

Sir Christopher's plans certainly seem "reasonable and fair" to me with some of the new rules intentionally given a transition period.

In his statement yesterday, he said he would allow mortgage claims to continue for the duration of the next Parliament.

Meanwhile, the nepotism of employing relatives will be phased out over a five-year period.

Sir Christopher also recommended an end to resettlement grants of up to £64,000 for MPs who voluntarily step down. But, again, this would only come into force after the next general election.

He suggested that the practice of "flipping" homes for capital gains tax purposes should be outlawed.

He also says that the communications allowance of £10,400 a year should be binned, as it is often used for nothing more than self-publicity.

But there has been no outright ban on MPs having a second job, provided it is restricted to "reasonable limits".

Sir Christopher has proposed an extension of a rule which currently prevents MPs within 20 miles of Parliament from claiming for a second home to 12 other members.

These additional MPs live a little further out but in fact have quicker journey times to Westminster due to geographic location and transport links.

Even this was not as bad news as MPs had feared. Leaks had suggested the cut-off time would be an hours' journey from Westminster, which would have implicated many more of the 66 members who are affected.

All of the proposals will now be assessed by the new Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority (IPSA), led by Sir Ian Kennedy.

But, assuming they are accepted by IPSA, surely no right-minded member would set about opposing any of the suggestions above.

Already, however, there were groans from MPs when it was announced that Sir Ian would be paid up to £100,000 in his new role.

This may be more than their basic salary, but they must understand that the time for members to self-regulate has long since passed by.

Now is the time for MPs to be true to their word and show a level of honesty at the House arguably not seen for over 400 years.